Why do men get punished in divorce?
Discussion
Just found a story on BBC news and made me question whey anybody in their right mind would want to marry.
I know it's all lovey and forever and the birds singing etc but if it does go wrong, and that's quite likley, it seems to be massively weighted to providing for the ladies, I just can't understand the logic behind it. Surely any self respecting person would just separate and get on with their lives.
Article in question
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-388916...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/06/court-o...
Bear in mind
They have been divorced 15 years
She already got a cash payment of £230,000 on divorce
She made 'unwise' decisions with the money
Her career is 2 days a weeks playing with make up
The 'young child' I'd imagine is at least 18 yrs old.
She has enough to buy a house but wants a better one so thinks her ex should pay for it.
Court awards her £1441 per month! No wonder she's got a smile on her face
For those that say it will never happen to them, it can happen to anybody as we've seen on here many times.
Only a few of the many divorce threads I have bookmarked!
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=987...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
I know it's all lovey and forever and the birds singing etc but if it does go wrong, and that's quite likley, it seems to be massively weighted to providing for the ladies, I just can't understand the logic behind it. Surely any self respecting person would just separate and get on with their lives.
Article in question
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-388916...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/06/court-o...
Bear in mind
They have been divorced 15 years
She already got a cash payment of £230,000 on divorce
She made 'unwise' decisions with the money
Her career is 2 days a weeks playing with make up
The 'young child' I'd imagine is at least 18 yrs old.
She has enough to buy a house but wants a better one so thinks her ex should pay for it.
Court awards her £1441 per month! No wonder she's got a smile on her face
For those that say it will never happen to them, it can happen to anybody as we've seen on here many times.
Only a few of the many divorce threads I have bookmarked!
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=987...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
Edited by Rick101 on Tuesday 7th February 16:54
The 10 threads you listed are only a few of the many you have bookmarked?
Don't you think that might be a bit of an odd thing to do?
Do you think a forum which is populated almost entirely by men is a reliable source for a balanced view on the various subjects concerning Men and Women in society?
P.S. just to make you extra paranoid, no wedding has to take place for a long term partner and co-habitant to clean you out pretty thoroughly if they so choose.
Don't you think that might be a bit of an odd thing to do?
Do you think a forum which is populated almost entirely by men is a reliable source for a balanced view on the various subjects concerning Men and Women in society?
P.S. just to make you extra paranoid, no wedding has to take place for a long term partner and co-habitant to clean you out pretty thoroughly if they so choose.
financial support...for life?!
I don't see how that is in any way the right decision.
In effect they're not divorced if he's supporting her forever, there remains a relationship...for good...
I don't know the full details obviously but on the face of it, that looks to be a very bad judgement.
Surely an adult is responsible for their own future once the original divorce/decision has been attended to and more importantly agreed.
I don't see how that is in any way the right decision.
In effect they're not divorced if he's supporting her forever, there remains a relationship...for good...
I don't know the full details obviously but on the face of it, that looks to be a very bad judgement.
Surely an adult is responsible for their own future once the original divorce/decision has been attended to and more importantly agreed.
My girlfriend arrived in her marriage with 4 properties and a good job, her husband with nothing and an average job. Fast forward 10 years he now has 2 properties and 500K in the bank, she has two properties and a massive mortgage, but let's not let that get in the way of a good rant 
They discussed this on LBC today and the general opinion was WTF, then the husband of one of the QCs who'd worked on the case phoned in. He was also in court as a lesser legal bod. He stated the reporting of it was highly untrue with several key facts unreported. Another legal bod then called in and agreed.
The hour long discussion was somewhat torpedoed.
Don't always believe what you read, especially if it's in The Mail.
The hour long discussion was somewhat torpedoed.
Don't always believe what you read, especially if it's in The Mail.
cb1965 said:
My girlfriend arrived in her marriage with 4 properties and a good job, her husband with nothing and an average job. Fast forward 10 years he now has 2 properties and 500K in the bank, she has two properties and a massive mortgage, but let's not let that get in the way of a good rant
Injustice is (or at least should be) blind to gender.No kids involved - split the spoils by giving back what they put in originally and then 50% each of anything over and above.
Kids involved - same as above plus percentage provision from the non-resident parent, making it clear that up until a certain age, access should be legally enforceable for the non-resident. The money side seems relatively easy to resolve, the children and care thereof is where non-resident parents get punished.
My child for instance at a very young age was persuaded to believe that I was a bad person and didn't want to see me....game over... resident parent gets more money I get no access...or I could throw thousands at a demoralising court case and end up with the child's decision overriding the importance of a caring father....
anyway...
You want to divorce, that should mean and end to every aspect of living/providing together. Provide for the kid. Make sure the finances are equal/relative. I'm not liking the precedent this makes....that anyone can dig back in and rake over a thoroughly horrible situation on a whim and some bad decisions made after the split.
I don't get the judgement in that article either. It said the child was grown up, so I cannot see why she is entitled to anything.
When it comes to the men doing so badly, I think you will find it's the biggest b
d/bh in the relationship that usually does the best.
My wife wasn't married to my stepson's dad, but he ended up with their house despite the fact she sold her old house to fund it and he came with nothing - and then left her with loads of debt - I have to tolerate him despite only contributing £30 a week to his son's upbringing and him being as awkward as possible and only seeing his son when it suits him. When she tried to get money off him via the CSA, or whatever it is now called, he claimed he was unemployed as he works cash in hand.
My cousin - her husband was a complete arse - he screwed her life up and still does terrible things involving the kids - he was very well off but hid all his money so he doesn't have to contribute to bringing up kids - he manipulates the system so he doesn't have to pay anything. He then met another woman, they had a child and within months he did the same to her.
My friend has a very successful business - his ex-wife is a complete bh and still makes his life hell. He pays her a fortune for his three kids and to fund her lazy lifestyle, yet she makes a huge effort to ruin every new relationship he has ever had.
Common theme developing here.
When it comes to the men doing so badly, I think you will find it's the biggest b
d/bh in the relationship that usually does the best.My wife wasn't married to my stepson's dad, but he ended up with their house despite the fact she sold her old house to fund it and he came with nothing - and then left her with loads of debt - I have to tolerate him despite only contributing £30 a week to his son's upbringing and him being as awkward as possible and only seeing his son when it suits him. When she tried to get money off him via the CSA, or whatever it is now called, he claimed he was unemployed as he works cash in hand.
My cousin - her husband was a complete arse - he screwed her life up and still does terrible things involving the kids - he was very well off but hid all his money so he doesn't have to contribute to bringing up kids - he manipulates the system so he doesn't have to pay anything. He then met another woman, they had a child and within months he did the same to her.
My friend has a very successful business - his ex-wife is a complete b
h and still makes his life hell. He pays her a fortune for his three kids and to fund her lazy lifestyle, yet she makes a huge effort to ruin every new relationship he has ever had.Common theme developing here.
AndrewEH1 said:
I guess don't marry someone who isn't on a similar income level to you...
...or in your own bitter case just don't get married.
This. Very much this. All these stories the man has far more than the woman entering into the marriage and earns far more during it. Wouldn't make for good reading if they came in with the same, both earnt £35k a year and left the marriage with the same! ...or in your own bitter case just don't get married.
Divorce law was created to protect the daughters of wealthy noble men from being left high and dry by philandering husbands and becoming a drain on their families.
Times have changed, but the law really hasn't. I suspect (but don't know) what's occurred in the case here is that the fella never got all the correct legal Is and Ts dotted and crossed in the original deal, added to that you've got a women who basically has no scruples and is very aware how to corrupt the legal process.
Write your MP, attempt to get the law changed - there's no other way to change these things, belly aching about things being fair won't make a jot of difference.
I'm married and I'm pretty old school so believe it's my role to financially provide for my wife and kids, luckily I chose not to marry a psycho but I'm resigned to the reality that if we did split up I would have to provide for my kids and her and I'm ok with that, I'm also confident she wouldn't try to damage me - even if the worst were to happen.
Times have changed, but the law really hasn't. I suspect (but don't know) what's occurred in the case here is that the fella never got all the correct legal Is and Ts dotted and crossed in the original deal, added to that you've got a women who basically has no scruples and is very aware how to corrupt the legal process.
Write your MP, attempt to get the law changed - there's no other way to change these things, belly aching about things being fair won't make a jot of difference.
I'm married and I'm pretty old school so believe it's my role to financially provide for my wife and kids, luckily I chose not to marry a psycho but I'm resigned to the reality that if we did split up I would have to provide for my kids and her and I'm ok with that, I'm also confident she wouldn't try to damage me - even if the worst were to happen.
FredClogs said:
... luckily I chose not to marry a psycho but I'm resigned to the reality that if we did split up I would have to provide for my kids and her and I'm ok with that, I'm also confident she wouldn't try to damage me - even if the worst were to happen.
And this is why you won't get divorced in the first place - your wife sounds like a good person, and you sound like a good person.Most of this thread is concerned with b
hes So how about this as a question then
A man and a woman meet when they are 20, they are both photographers and earn £20k They save a deposit together and buy a house 50/50 deposit and bills shared. They get married, buy a bigger house and have twins. As the man has now earns £40k and woman earns £25k they decide she will look after the children.
When the children turn 12 the woman resumes working and when they turn 21 she earns £30k and he earns £150k.
They decide that they no longer want to be in a relationship and divorce with the following how do you split the finances?
Both are now aged 45
Woman earns £30k per year
Man earns £150k per year
House is worth £800k
Savings of £50k
Man has a pension pot of £100k
Woman has a pension pot of £15k
so who gets what
A man and a woman meet when they are 20, they are both photographers and earn £20k They save a deposit together and buy a house 50/50 deposit and bills shared. They get married, buy a bigger house and have twins. As the man has now earns £40k and woman earns £25k they decide she will look after the children.
When the children turn 12 the woman resumes working and when they turn 21 she earns £30k and he earns £150k.
They decide that they no longer want to be in a relationship and divorce with the following how do you split the finances?
Both are now aged 45
Woman earns £30k per year
Man earns £150k per year
House is worth £800k
Savings of £50k
Man has a pension pot of £100k
Woman has a pension pot of £15k
so who gets what
Fab32 said:
So how about this as a question then
A man and a woman meet when they are 20, they are both photographers and earn £20k They save a deposit together and buy a house 50/50 deposit and bills shared. They get married, buy a bigger house and have twins. As the man has now earns £40k and woman earns £25k they decide she will look after the children.
When the children turn 12 the woman resumes working and when they turn 21 she earns £30k and he earns £150k.
They decide that they no longer want to be in a relationship and divorce with the following how do you split the finances?
Both are now aged 45
Woman earns £30k per year
Man earns £150k per year
House is worth £800k
Savings of £50k
Man has a pension pot of £100k
Woman has a pension pot of £15k
so who gets what
As there are effectively no kids, wouldn't it be:A man and a woman meet when they are 20, they are both photographers and earn £20k They save a deposit together and buy a house 50/50 deposit and bills shared. They get married, buy a bigger house and have twins. As the man has now earns £40k and woman earns £25k they decide she will look after the children.
When the children turn 12 the woman resumes working and when they turn 21 she earns £30k and he earns £150k.
They decide that they no longer want to be in a relationship and divorce with the following how do you split the finances?
Both are now aged 45
Woman earns £30k per year
Man earns £150k per year
House is worth £800k
Savings of £50k
Man has a pension pot of £100k
Woman has a pension pot of £15k
so who gets what
House - £400k each
Savings - £25k each
Pension - £57,500 each
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