Suggestions rqd - Cleaner suspected of beating off in house.
Discussion
Bloody hell!
I interviewed a cleaner a month or so ago and all got was a ropey single mother of 4 looking to add to her benefits with some £10/hour tax-free cash.
I broached the subject of having her laid about the house, emptying bottles of anything slipperier than ajax. She wanted £15/hours for that. What a rip off.
C2, it seems like much of the need for this is based on her appearance - if she's a 20-stone munter with a beard, you'll whittle down the interest level (although not all the way to zero, I suspect). If, though, she narrowly missed out on a modelling deal with FHM, you might have a hit on your hands.
So - model or munter?
>> Edited by NoisyGriff on Friday 16th December 16:34
I interviewed a cleaner a month or so ago and all got was a ropey single mother of 4 looking to add to her benefits with some £10/hour tax-free cash.
I broached the subject of having her laid about the house, emptying bottles of anything slipperier than ajax. She wanted £15/hours for that. What a rip off.
C2, it seems like much of the need for this is based on her appearance - if she's a 20-stone munter with a beard, you'll whittle down the interest level (although not all the way to zero, I suspect). If, though, she narrowly missed out on a modelling deal with FHM, you might have a hit on your hands.
So - model or munter?
>> Edited by NoisyGriff on Friday 16th December 16:34
NoisyGriff said:
Bloody hell!
I interviewed a cleaner a month or so ago and all got was a ropey single mother of 4 looking to add to her benefits with some £10/hour tax-free cash.
I broached the subject of having her laid about the house, emptying bottles of anything slipperier than ajax. She wanted £15/hours for that. What a rip off.
C2, it seems like much of the need for this is based on her appearance - if she's a 20-stone munter with a beard, you'll whittle down the interest level (although not all the way to zero, I suspect). If, though, she narrowly missed out on a modelling deal with FHM, you might have a hit on your hands.
So - model or munter?
>> Edited by NoisyGriff on Friday 16th December 16:34
If she weighed 20 stone I wouldn't let in her. Seriously.
She's not model material but she's very nice - put it this way, she's worth hoping that she beats off in your spare room.
Carrera2 said:
She's not model material but she's very nice - put it this way, she's worth hoping that she beats off in your spare room.
If a cleaner did that in our spare room, it would be the sign of a pretty deranged mind. There is nothing remotely sexy about our spare room.
It's the main bedroom that has the mirrored ceiling.
maybe 'she' is (was) a he....... 
funniest thread in a long time I have a cunning plan, take a day off work, get your diy tools out, your overalls on dress up as a sexy builder. Now when she gets the vax out drop a few clangers & see what the response is.
I thought I'd help you with the polishing
All that bending over must be getting to you, can I help
How do you take it? your tea that is
Let me show you the rubbing motion for this special polish I have
Can you come down here, I need a hand
I've got my mate Palm & her five sisters coming this week would you like to meet them
Keep em coming lads
]
>> Edited by cptsideways on Friday 16th December 19:27
If you have a laptop, buy one of these:
www.ebuyer.com/customer/products/index.html?rb=14169432892&action=c2hvd19wcm9kdWN0X292ZXJ2aWV3&product_uid=61986
and a USB extension. Surely you can afford £10! Theres loads of software for free that will detect movement and start recording. GO ON!
Alternativly you put a dildo in your spare room on the end of a fishing rod in the adjacent room and reel the bint in when the two finger cun.t shuffle kicks in!
>> Edited by polus on Friday 16th December 19:31
www.ebuyer.com/customer/products/index.html?rb=14169432892&action=c2hvd19wcm9kdWN0X292ZXJ2aWV3&product_uid=61986
and a USB extension. Surely you can afford £10! Theres loads of software for free that will detect movement and start recording. GO ON!
Alternativly you put a dildo in your spare room on the end of a fishing rod in the adjacent room and reel the bint in when the two finger cun.t shuffle kicks in!
>> Edited by polus on Friday 16th December 19:31
Christ i nearly pissed myself when i read this. 'Beatee'.... PMSL !!
Only on Pistonheads do we get such dilemas !! Excellent.
I second the idea of interfering with the beatee's moisturiser. I think i'd drop some hot chilli powder in and a voice activated mp3 player nerby to record the screams....
If thats not a plan may i suggest the movement activated webcam in a discreet, yet handily postioned area of said crime scene.
Steve
Only on Pistonheads do we get such dilemas !! Excellent. I second the idea of interfering with the beatee's moisturiser. I think i'd drop some hot chilli powder in and a voice activated mp3 player nerby to record the screams....
If thats not a plan may i suggest the movement activated webcam in a discreet, yet handily postioned area of said crime scene.
Steve
and...
audition-the-finger-puppets
basting-the-tuna
beat-the-beaver
beating-the-bush
bouncing the bearded-clam
bury-the-knuckle
churning-the-cream
clam twiddling jamboree
drown-the-man-in-the-boat
fan-the-fur
feeding-the-slot
finger-painting
fluff-the-muff
grease-the-gash
hit-the-slit
itching-the-ditch
rubbing-the-love-nubbin
and Ill get my coat
audition-the-finger-puppets
basting-the-tuna
beat-the-beaver
beating-the-bush
bouncing the bearded-clam
bury-the-knuckle
churning-the-cream
clam twiddling jamboree
drown-the-man-in-the-boat
fan-the-fur
feeding-the-slot
finger-painting
fluff-the-muff
grease-the-gash
hit-the-slit
itching-the-ditch
rubbing-the-love-nubbin
and Ill get my coat
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