Suggestions rqd - Cleaner suspected of beating off in house.
Discussion
polus said:
and...
audition-the-finger-puppets
basting-the-tuna
beat-the-beaver
beating-the-bush
bouncing the bearded-clam
bury-the-knuckle
churning-the-cream
clam twiddling jamboree
drown-the-man-in-the-boat
fan-the-fur
feeding-the-slot
finger-painting
fluff-the-muff
grease-the-gash
hit-the-slit
itching-the-ditch
rubbing-the-love-nubbin
and Ill get my coat
Where the heck did you learn all that lot?
Boosted.
her or sack her? decisions decisions good luck mate 
In 2 days she's back to clean - still plenty of time for suggestions!
I need 2 suggestions:
i) the 'trigger' - we need to ensure that if she has been beating herself off in the past then she definitely will this time. However it needs to be subtle i.e. leaving a porno playing on the dvd is NOT acceptable as, in the unlikely event that she's NOT beating. she'll think I'm an utter pervert.
ii) the 'trap' - some way of collecting the evidence after the trigger has done it's job.
At the moment a voice activated dictaphone is the no.1 suggestion for 'ii)' and as yet I haven't got a decent trigger....although a friend suggested last night that last week she may have tripped and fallen face first into my laundry basket and a pair of my worn pants were the 'trigger'. I not really buying into this theory though...
>> Edited by carrera2 on Sunday 18th December 23:02
I need 2 suggestions:
i) the 'trigger' - we need to ensure that if she has been beating herself off in the past then she definitely will this time. However it needs to be subtle i.e. leaving a porno playing on the dvd is NOT acceptable as, in the unlikely event that she's NOT beating. she'll think I'm an utter pervert.
ii) the 'trap' - some way of collecting the evidence after the trigger has done it's job.
At the moment a voice activated dictaphone is the no.1 suggestion for 'ii)' and as yet I haven't got a decent trigger....although a friend suggested last night that last week she may have tripped and fallen face first into my laundry basket and a pair of my worn pants were the 'trigger'. I not really buying into this theory though...
>> Edited by carrera2 on Sunday 18th December 23:02
carrera2 said:
In 2 days she's back to clean - still plenty of time for suggestions!
I need 2 suggestions:
i) the 'trigger' - we need to ensure that if she has been beating herself off in the past then she definitely will this time. However it needs to be subtle i.e. leaving a porno playing on the dvd is NOT acceptable as, in the unlikely event that she's NOT beating. she'll think I'm an utter pervert.
ii) the 'trap' - some way of collecting the evidence after the trigger has done it's job.
At the moment a voice activated dictaphone is the no.1 suggestion for 'ii)' and as yet I haven't got a decent trigger....although a friend suggested last night that last week she may have tripped and fallen face first into my laundry basket and a pair of my worn pants were the 'trigger'. I not really buying into this theory though...
>> Edited by carrera2 on Sunday 18th December 23:02
You need something like a baby monitor so you can hide in the garage and keep an ear on things.
Does she always wank in the same room?
Why not employ a young muscular electrician or plumber ..... with a moustache , swedish accent , toolbox , ..... ... to call at the flat to do some inspections / work.
She's bound to get all horny ............
( well it works in the movies ..........(so I've been told ) ..... so it must be true )
on Second thought ..... could you pass yourself off as a swedish electrician ?
She's bound to get all horny ............
( well it works in the movies ..........(so I've been told ) ..... so it must be true )
on Second thought ..... could you pass yourself off as a swedish electrician ?
robinhood21 said:
Leave a soft porn mag lying around where it can be found on tidying up should do the trick!
there's your trigger, something tasteful like club or something (my friend's recommendation
). leave it slightly on display, curiosity will get the better of her, she will start reading the motoring page and she won't be able to help herself.
i think we could be on to something here. it has to be a honey trap. the last thing youd want is to set up motion activated AV devices just for her to play with her badly packed kebab elsewhere.
can i suggest we look to the wisdom of one Wile E. Coyote? his plans have yet to fail me. the episode where he tries to ensnare roadrunner with a sign saying 'stop here and play with your vertical bacon sandwich' is a little known classic
can i suggest we look to the wisdom of one Wile E. Coyote? his plans have yet to fail me. the episode where he tries to ensnare roadrunner with a sign saying 'stop here and play with your vertical bacon sandwich' is a little known classic
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