Suggestions rqd - Cleaner suspected of beating off in house.

[carrera2]

In 2 days she's back to clean - still plenty of time for suggestions!

I need 2 suggestions:

i) the 'trigger' - we need to ensure that if she has been beating herself off in the past then she definitely will this time. However it needs to be subtle i.e. leaving a porno playing on the dvd is NOT acceptable as, in the unlikely event that she's NOT beating. she'll think I'm an utter pervert.

ii) the 'trap' - some way of collecting the evidence after the trigger has done it's job.

At the moment a voice activated dictaphone is the no.1 suggestion for 'ii)' and as yet I haven't got a decent trigger....although a friend suggested last night that last week she may have tripped and fallen face first into my laundry basket and a pair of my worn pants were the 'trigger'. I not really buying into this theory though...

>> Edited by carrera2 on Sunday 18th December 23:02

[Carrera2]

[Carrera2]

Right, failing better suggestions I'm about to order a digital voice activated dictaphone ready to install for Wednesday.

As far as a trigger goes I really don't know. I'm not buying porn as it's too embarrasing.

We'll jsut have to hope she's got the horn already and can't wait to 'knuckle down' as soon as she gets through the door.

[Carrera2]

Plotloss said:

What use is a dictaphone going to be to us, we need pictures dammit. Besides, you could get a false alarm, she might be moving a wardrobe or similar...

I can probably get the reocrding hosted if it's 'interesting'.....I'm sure we won't get a false alarm, it should be pretty easy to tell if a wardrobe's being moved or whether she's going at her flaps hammer and tongs.

At least I hope they don't sound similar....

[Carrera2]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

If this gives us a definite then I'll spend thousands on camera and stirrups etc.

[Carrera2]

venom said:

The problem, as I see it, is if she's any good at being a cleaner then she's likely to find this noise activated sound recorder and wonder what the fluck is going on. Far better to use a webcam. Motion sensitive and far more conclusive evidence!

and much easier to explain away if discoverd presumably?

[Carrera2]

Plotloss said:

If you use a webcam, you could turn her into a profit centre. www.muckymaid.co.uk

I think you're onto something there - I've got 10 pages of interest in the mere idea of it.....what do you reckon - £5.00 per 3 minutes? Or is that too long?

[Carrera2]

Update:

A voice activated voice recorder with external mic is currently sitting on my desk ready to be installed tonight.

I'll catch this dirty dirty lovely girl if it's the last thing I do!

[Carrera2]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

You're so close to the truth you wouldn't believe!!

[Carrera2]

pablo said:

i cannot believe that anyone is falling for this. Is no one else wondering when the cleaner turns up in the McLaren F1 becasue the daily drive has stopped working.....

Falling for what?

If it was a wind up it would be much much funnier.

[Carrera2]

[Carrera2]

Yup the device is hidden in a suitcase with the mic hanging out discretely.

I couldn't think of a suitable trigger so we'll just have to cross our 'fingers' and 'touch wood' that she's feeling fruity.

The thing records in MP3 format so if we hit gold I can mail it around

[Carrera2]

Chilli

The earliest I'll realistically know is when i get home at 7ish...however I may be going straight out for a beer with a mate - not sure yet.

So to answer your question - I'll either have news tonight or very first thing in the morning.

If we all concentrate hard enough it might somehow make her whack off.

[Carrera2]

B17NNS said:

www.hi.is%2F%7Eagnarbj%2Fmyndir%2Furi-spoon.jpg&a">www.hi.is%2F%7Eagnarbj%2Fmyndir%2Furi-spoon.jpg&a"> uri said: I will you to crack one off

Come again..

[Carrera2]

Morning all...


Yes I did got to the pub - I'm sorry to have left you all in suspense.

It was a disaster I'm afraid, the thing obviously has an auto-off setting and so all I recorded was about 20 secs of me hiding it in a suitcase then shutting the door then zip.

Really annoyed but I'll look through the manual and see how to disable that function for next time.

Pissed-off-of-Surrey.

[Carrera2]

UKBob said:

I see you've been fiddling with it manually though Bugger it carrera! So what does the manual say, and when is she next due to come round?

It seems the device can be set to come on at different times - I'll do a few tests next week before to make sure it works.

Next Thursday is B-day now....

[Carrera2]

The actual moisturisers now missing but a friend stayed over last night so I need to launch more inquiries to see who the culprit is....

....mind you the friend was a bloke so if he's taken the moisturiser I'll be very concerned!

[Carrera2]

tonto said:

What do we want .... Cleaner Porn When do we want it ... Now ! Mary Whitehouse would be proud

and again for being so funny

[Carrera2]

Quick update.

It's B-day yet again. I couldn't get the bloody voice recorder to stay on so I'm changing my approach a little bit.

I've left my house spick and span so she's little work to do (on the house) and I'm planning on returning home early to try and catch her in the act!

The only phallic looking thing I could find last night to leave out as a trigger was a candle - I've heard that girls sometimes 'use' them so we'll see.

Wish me luck!!

[Carrera2]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

:lol:

I know - with xmas and everything it went to the back of my mind I'm afraid.

I'll try harder in the new year!