Tit monday prediction
Discussion
tigger1 said:
Taken from : -
http://pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.
(5th April 2006) - the best description of TM, ever!
http://pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.
(5th April 2006) - the best description of TM, ever!
minornut said:
Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.
And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.
After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...
And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.
Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.
And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.
So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more
level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps. As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.
Fingers crossed for an early start and a long summer!
And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.
After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...
And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.
Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.
And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.
So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more
level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps. As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.
Fingers crossed for an early start and a long summer!
I think you'll find I stole that from an email i received which was in turn stolen from a newspaper column.
I think Easter hols at the seaside is a good bet 
Here's my interpretation:
LONDON WOMEN PREPARE BREASTS FOR INCREASED SPRINGTIME DISPLAY
Women across the capital celebrated the improved weather this week, preparing their breasts for the increased exposure and display that the warm weather now demands. For the last 6-8 months, women's breasts, obscured by baggy sweaters and shapeless jackets, have existed only in the imaginations and fond memories of men.
Yet, with the coming of spring, all that has changed, as girls now slip into less fabric and fewer layers. Their breasts, like animals emerging from hibernation, once again climb out into the sunshine, stretch out in the open air and, with near-mythic power, grab the attention of all around. "I just bought a new spring 'mini-vest' from French Connection," said Covent Garden, media-exec Sophie Lambert, 24. "It is snug. Almost too-small really. Plenty of blokes seem to notice my tits when I wear it on sunny days."
Miss Lambert's male colleagues who have seen the vest confirmed that it was "blinding", and added that they are eagerly looking forward to seeing her "cracking pair" protrude from within it very soon.
"In countries with warmer climates, the vast quantities of breasts tend to take on a diminished significance, because of overexposure," says Professor Dorothy Primus of the Feminist Studies Department, University College London. "The male populace tends to become jaded toward breasts, as they are nearly always visible even to a casual onlooker" Primus went on to explain, however, that the UK's ebb and flow of seasons creates a corresponding ebb and flow of breast visibility. The recent fine weather and resulting preponderance of breast displays has brought London to its knees with heterosexual males gawking at the near-unbelievable levels of mammarian visibility.
Although most men agree that the natural power of the female breast needs no improvement, some women are using technology to further enhance their breast goals. Fulham secretary Heather Phillips, 22, a self-confessed B-cup with aspirations toward the C-range, plans to covertly employ a "Wonder Bra," to make her breasts appear a full cup-size larger throughout the summer months. Boyfriend Mark Chambers is reported to be "delighted".
Experts are not surprised by Miss Phillips' breast enhancement efforts, as spring frequently brings about a heightened air of sexual tension. Feminist lesbian organisations in London agreed "Although we are deeply opposed to the systematic sexual objectification of women and their breasts by male heterodoxy, we lesbians are in a uniquely two-fold position of strength in these wondrous springtime months, enjoying both the opportunity to display our fantastic breasts to others, and the chance to enjoy an eyeful of the breasts of our fellow sisters," says Megan Thomas of radical group Lesbian Militants for Social Change. Upon spotting a lithe, crop-topped, female walking nearby, Ms Thomas bit her knuckles, adding, "I mean... just check out the cans on that."
LONDON WOMEN PREPARE BREASTS FOR INCREASED SPRINGTIME DISPLAY
Women across the capital celebrated the improved weather this week, preparing their breasts for the increased exposure and display that the warm weather now demands. For the last 6-8 months, women's breasts, obscured by baggy sweaters and shapeless jackets, have existed only in the imaginations and fond memories of men.
Yet, with the coming of spring, all that has changed, as girls now slip into less fabric and fewer layers. Their breasts, like animals emerging from hibernation, once again climb out into the sunshine, stretch out in the open air and, with near-mythic power, grab the attention of all around. "I just bought a new spring 'mini-vest' from French Connection," said Covent Garden, media-exec Sophie Lambert, 24. "It is snug. Almost too-small really. Plenty of blokes seem to notice my tits when I wear it on sunny days."
Miss Lambert's male colleagues who have seen the vest confirmed that it was "blinding", and added that they are eagerly looking forward to seeing her "cracking pair" protrude from within it very soon.
"In countries with warmer climates, the vast quantities of breasts tend to take on a diminished significance, because of overexposure," says Professor Dorothy Primus of the Feminist Studies Department, University College London. "The male populace tends to become jaded toward breasts, as they are nearly always visible even to a casual onlooker" Primus went on to explain, however, that the UK's ebb and flow of seasons creates a corresponding ebb and flow of breast visibility. The recent fine weather and resulting preponderance of breast displays has brought London to its knees with heterosexual males gawking at the near-unbelievable levels of mammarian visibility.
Although most men agree that the natural power of the female breast needs no improvement, some women are using technology to further enhance their breast goals. Fulham secretary Heather Phillips, 22, a self-confessed B-cup with aspirations toward the C-range, plans to covertly employ a "Wonder Bra," to make her breasts appear a full cup-size larger throughout the summer months. Boyfriend Mark Chambers is reported to be "delighted".
Experts are not surprised by Miss Phillips' breast enhancement efforts, as spring frequently brings about a heightened air of sexual tension. Feminist lesbian organisations in London agreed "Although we are deeply opposed to the systematic sexual objectification of women and their breasts by male heterodoxy, we lesbians are in a uniquely two-fold position of strength in these wondrous springtime months, enjoying both the opportunity to display our fantastic breasts to others, and the chance to enjoy an eyeful of the breasts of our fellow sisters," says Megan Thomas of radical group Lesbian Militants for Social Change. Upon spotting a lithe, crop-topped, female walking nearby, Ms Thomas bit her knuckles, adding, "I mean... just check out the cans on that."
bob1179 said:
tigger1 said:
mark r skinner said:
bob1179 said:
BadgerBenji said:
What the hell is tit monday?
Somthing to do with bird watching.
Good past time.
Did someone mention birdwatching?
Spring migration starts on March 26th.
March 26th?? That sounds premature...
Don't want to fire too early.
Be prepared though, just in case......
dougc said:
Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...
And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...
And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.
The most perfectly descriptive 3 paragraphs ever
Stu R said:
Vesuvius 996 said:
I am looking forward to the new knicker cricket season....
fantastic! Edited by Stu R on Tuesday 20th February 17:04
Rules of knicker cricket.
A chap spend the day looking for glimpses of "lady parts"
Runs are scored as follows.
Stocking top 1 run
Bra 1 run
Stocking top plus upper thigh 2 runs
Knickers 4 runs
Knickers (lace) 5 runs
Naked muff 6 runs
A chap is "out" and the innings comes to an end when it is decided by his companion (the "umpire"....) that in the umpires reasonable opinion the player "in" has been seriously rumbled, or where the player currently "in" is slapped or verbally admonished for being a dirty old pervert.
Record innings is 327 before being clean bowled in Tiger Tiger.
Let the play begin.....
Edited by Vesuvius 996 on Tuesday 20th February 17:15
Lots of peeps said:
And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold.
Tit Monday Night. Only beaten by a Tit Monday Shower 
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