relationship test

[stigmundfreud]

Vee said:

stigmundfreud said:

3,864 posts

9 months

Maybe spend less time on here and more with the Mrs ?

Everyone likes hindsight, where does one get this gift?

[stigmundfreud]

JonRB said:

But what do I know? I'm just the owner of a 'shite' car that breaks down all the time, apparantly.

Edited by JonRB on Sunday 15th July 20:49

thanks for the advice Jon, its good to know at times like this you can put the failings of your car behind you and at least help out.

[Toni896]

Gorvid said:

I really don't believe a mate could do that to another mate.

Regarding the punishment of Tony --> my offer still stands

A Mate would never do that!

[JonRB]

stigmundfreud said:

thanks for the advice Jon, its good to know at times like this you can put the failings of your car behind you and at least help out.

Said in jest, mate, just said in jest.

Seriously, if your little menage-a-trois are all church members then involve the pastor and sort it out before theirs is the only side of the story that is believed.

For people that are meant to be so tolerant and into forgiveness, you'll seldom see a more seething pile of petty backbiting and gossiping as a church. Nip it in the bud now if you don't want to be the subject of every "quick phone call to tell you about a prayer request" (sic) going around.

[randlemarcus]

Stig,
it sounds like Tony has been planning this for a while. Do you have copies of her phone bills to hand, see how long the contact between them has been going on?

I'd also be tempted to check around the house, in case he has secreted (no pun intended) a variety of butt plugs in places where you might hide them, to add credence to his tapestry of lies.

[Olf]

randlemarcus said:

Stig,
it sounds like Tony has been planning this for a while. Do you have copies of her phone bills to hand, see how long the contact between them has been going on?

I'd also be tempted to check around the house, in case he has secreted (no pun intended) a variety of butt plugs in places where you might hide them, to add credence to his tapestry of lies.

Good point - have you a a problem with your number 2's recently.

[Swilly]

True or not, im laughing my cock off at you.

Either that it is a windup and so many on here fell for it, what were you thinking of you planks or.....

Its true and you fell for it, what the feck were you thinking you huge plank

[David_s]

stigmundfreud said:

It was two weeks ago now that I got talking about relationships with Tony, one of my friends from church. He split from his wife three years ago and was basically suggesting that nearly all women are just looking for an excuse to end the long term relationships they're in and will seize on any opportunity to do so.

Having defended my lazy skiving postoffice girlfriend on this point, he suggested a little test for me. He told me download some homosexual pornography and leave it for her to "find" on our computer. He told me to make sure I covered my actions by writing down what I was doing in a letter, before sealing it in an envelope and hiding it in the house. The idea being that if my girlfriend didn't take it well, I could extricate myself from trouble by fetching the sealed letter and letting her read it.

Obviously I immediately dismissed this ridiculous "test" out of hand, but after being endlessly cajoled about my lack of faith in my relationship I eventually capitulated and agreed to go through with it. Trawling the depths of depravity on the internet I, at my friends suggestion, downloaded a wmv file of a graphic homosexual act and left it on the PC's desktop for herf to find.

And so she found it, the next day. When one of her friends was round for coffee. I'd come back from a trip to the local tip to be greeted by two hysterical and tearful women screaming at me for being a monster. After trying to calm her (them) down, I ran for the letter and produced it expecting everything to sort itself out. Sarah took the envelope and without opening it, ripped it up in front of me whilst screaming "This is exactly what Tony said you would do!" With that, she and her friend took the dog and left.

I've been trying to get in contact all week, but she won't speak to me. I've managed to find out that Tony told her I'd "come out of the closet" to him. That I'd made unwanted sexual advances towards him, and that I'd revealed I'd hidden a letter in the house as the perfect alibi to "prove my innocence" should I ever be found out.

She's now staying with Tony while she's apparently "sorting her head out". Tony's avoiding me. She won't let me near the dog and I've been told I'm no longer welcome at the church. I don't understand how, after knowing me for eight years, she can believe what's happened is real, and I can't comprehend why Tony, a friend for five years, has done what he has to me. Just take a warning from me to NEVER trust your friends implicitly, and to not expect understanding from a group of people whose religion suposedly tells them to be "forgiving".

It seems like the whole world is just waiting for you to make what it thinks is a mistake so it can indulge in the most shameless schadenfreude and ostracise former friends and colleagues with nothing more than a sneer of self-righteous contempt.

"She won't let me near the dog"

Has Tony told her you shag dogs too?

Edited by David_s on Sunday 15th July 21:10

[Road_Terrorist]

LOL if this isn't a wind up then you've been played like a violin. Top marks to Tony for being a devious ct of the highest order, it was a pretty ingenious plan, although I can't believe it worked so well, I bet he cant either!

I think using his own trick against him would be the sneakiest idea. i.e. tell your Mrs she should have a HIV/AIDs test 'just in case' as you've tested positive. That will wipe the smirk of Tonys face as he wont be able to sleep with her and he'll have to put up with her hysterics even though he will know it's a lie. Of course he can't tell her how he knows without revealing his game plan. But that has other implications, not least psychological torture of your wife, you'll probably never get her back after pulling a trick like that.

An easier/better plan would be to find some smoking hot 18yo, (get an escort if you can't pick one up) and take her to church the next time you go, and thank Tony for freeing you from the old cow as it was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[jagdpanther]

Im gonna come right out with it

(ohh err)




Stigmund: As an adult, you should've known better than to put your faith in such a stupid ing idea in the first place and secondly you should slap yourself for allowing yourself to be manipulated by peer pressure

As an adult living with someone, you should know that you trust your instincts over some bullshit test which sounds like its just come right out of the pages of Viz!!!!!

I do feel sorry for you though


What you need to do is forget breaking his legs or arms

Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution

[mattrm]

I like the way Road_terrorist thinks.

[Tina K]

Said 'friend' sounds like an envious and conniving little worm, in need of a good stoning.

[JonRB]

Road_Terrorist said:

tell your Mrs she should have a HIV/AIDs test 'just in case' as you've tested positive. That will wipe the smirk of Tonys face as he wont be able to sleep with her and he'll have to put up with her hysterics even though he will know it's a lie. Of course he can't tell her how he knows without revealing his game plan.

Tony is a devious ct?? You are, you mean!

[stigmundfreud]

jagdpanther said:

Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution

do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???

[randlemarcus]

You need a checklist of deviance. For example, does Tony speak like the Dr Who in the following link. Because that would be proof positive to the Pastor that he likes the tiemcock.

http://nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com/1336208.html

[jagdpanther]

stigmundfreud said:

jagdpanther said:

Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution

do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???

Good point, well made



Find a big hairly Lesbian instead sporting a strap-on the size of the Blackpool tower

Edited by jagdpanther on Sunday 15th July 21:17

[stigmundfreud]

jagdpanther said:

stigmundfreud said:

jagdpanther said:

Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution

do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???

Good point, well made



Find a big hairly Lesbian instead

I've fired off a pm to becca suggesting you suggest that

[jagdpanther]

stigmundfreud said:

jagdpanther said:

stigmundfreud said:

jagdpanther said:

Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution

do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???

Good point, well made



Find a big hairly Lesbian instead

I've fired off a pm to becca suggesting you suggest that

Becca knows me better than that mate

[TheCarpetCleaner]

But the big question is, did she ever tell you what they are striking about before she left?

[freddies_dad]

I think some of you have forgotten the most important person, and most innocent, in all this. The dog. God know's how he's feeling. (I'm assuming your dog is male... know what I mean. Un-neutered too, I'd guess).