relationship test
Discussion
It was two weeks ago now that I got talking about relationships with Tony, one of my friends from church. He split from his wife three years ago and was basically suggesting that nearly all women are just looking for an excuse to end the long term relationships they're in and will seize on any opportunity to do so.
Having defended my lazy skiving postoffice girlfriend on this point, he suggested a little test for me. He told me download some homosexual pornography and leave it for her to "find" on our computer. He told me to make sure I covered my actions by writing down what I was doing in a letter, before sealing it in an envelope and hiding it in the house. The idea being that if my girlfriend didn't take it well, I could extricate myself from trouble by fetching the sealed letter and letting her read it.
Obviously I immediately dismissed this ridiculous "test" out of hand, but after being endlessly cajoled about my lack of faith in my relationship I eventually capitulated and agreed to go through with it. Trawling the depths of depravity on the internet I, at my friends suggestion, downloaded a wmv file of a graphic homosexual act and left it on the PC's desktop for herf to find.
And so she found it, the next day. When one of her friends was round for coffee. I'd come back from a trip to the local tip to be greeted by two hysterical and tearful women screaming at me for being a monster. After trying to calm her (them) down, I ran for the letter and produced it expecting everything to sort itself out. Sarah took the envelope and without opening it, ripped it up in front of me whilst screaming "This is exactly what Tony said you would do!" With that, she and her friend took the dog and left.
I've been trying to get in contact all week, but she won't speak to me. I've managed to find out that Tony told her I'd "come out of the closet" to him. That I'd made unwanted sexual advances towards him, and that I'd revealed I'd hidden a letter in the house as the perfect alibi to "prove my innocence" should I ever be found out.
She's now staying with Tony while she's apparently "sorting her head out". Tony's avoiding me. She won't let me near the dog and I've been told I'm no longer welcome at the church. I don't understand how, after knowing me for eight years, she can believe what's happened is real, and I can't comprehend why Tony, a friend for five years, has done what he has to me. Just take a warning from me to NEVER trust your friends implicitly, and to not expect understanding from a group of people whose religion suposedly tells them to be "forgiving".
It seems like the whole world is just waiting for you to make what it thinks is a mistake so it can indulge in the most shameless schadenfreude and ostracise former friends and colleagues with nothing more than a sneer of self-righteous contempt.
Having defended my lazy skiving postoffice girlfriend on this point, he suggested a little test for me. He told me download some homosexual pornography and leave it for her to "find" on our computer. He told me to make sure I covered my actions by writing down what I was doing in a letter, before sealing it in an envelope and hiding it in the house. The idea being that if my girlfriend didn't take it well, I could extricate myself from trouble by fetching the sealed letter and letting her read it.
Obviously I immediately dismissed this ridiculous "test" out of hand, but after being endlessly cajoled about my lack of faith in my relationship I eventually capitulated and agreed to go through with it. Trawling the depths of depravity on the internet I, at my friends suggestion, downloaded a wmv file of a graphic homosexual act and left it on the PC's desktop for herf to find.
And so she found it, the next day. When one of her friends was round for coffee. I'd come back from a trip to the local tip to be greeted by two hysterical and tearful women screaming at me for being a monster. After trying to calm her (them) down, I ran for the letter and produced it expecting everything to sort itself out. Sarah took the envelope and without opening it, ripped it up in front of me whilst screaming "This is exactly what Tony said you would do!" With that, she and her friend took the dog and left.
I've been trying to get in contact all week, but she won't speak to me. I've managed to find out that Tony told her I'd "come out of the closet" to him. That I'd made unwanted sexual advances towards him, and that I'd revealed I'd hidden a letter in the house as the perfect alibi to "prove my innocence" should I ever be found out.
She's now staying with Tony while she's apparently "sorting her head out". Tony's avoiding me. She won't let me near the dog and I've been told I'm no longer welcome at the church. I don't understand how, after knowing me for eight years, she can believe what's happened is real, and I can't comprehend why Tony, a friend for five years, has done what he has to me. Just take a warning from me to NEVER trust your friends implicitly, and to not expect understanding from a group of people whose religion suposedly tells them to be "forgiving".
It seems like the whole world is just waiting for you to make what it thinks is a mistake so it can indulge in the most shameless schadenfreude and ostracise former friends and colleagues with nothing more than a sneer of self-righteous contempt.
JonRB said:
But what do I know? I'm just the owner of a 'shite' car that breaks down all the time, apparantly. 
thanks for the advice Jon, its good to know at times like this you can put the failings of your car behind you and at least help out.Edited by JonRB on Sunday 15th July 20:49
jagdpanther said:
Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution
do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???jagdpanther said:
stigmundfreud said:
jagdpanther said:
Find a large, prison loving, well endowed gentlemen who goes by the name of Bubba/Donkey/Horse or simply King Wang and pay him to bugger Tony beyond utter belief and have it filmed on some covert camera...then sit back and smile about your ironic and divine retribution
do you think in my current circumstances, finding a big burly queen is the smartests of moves???Find a big hairly Lesbian instead
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