Equality? Not for fathers ...

[Ozone]

Rude-boy said:

Oh, this isn’t good.

Was talking with a few mates the other day given that we are all now in our early to mid 30’s.

With one exception they have all said that whilst they are likely to get married they are not likely to have children

If you read this thread in the Lounge they won't get a choice

[Rude-boy]

Ozone said:

If you read this thread in the Lounge they won't get a choice

We did joke about clocks and turkey baisters...

[Disco_Dale]

rover 623gsi said:

My other brother hardly sees his daughter even though he is allowed to (I speak to her more often than he does), has hardly given a penny to the mother over the years and has generally acted like a complete arse despite telling anyone who would listen how hard done by he is.

I have personal experience of one like this too. In 5 years since splitting with the mother of his kids he's not paid a single penny towards their upkeep, has a partner who was unpleasant to the kids when he had access and basically saw his kids as a means to getting a bigger house off the council. Once he'd got that, didn't want to know. Hasn't seen them nor made any serious effort to do so in over 2 years.

I'd hazard a guess theres a lot more fathers like that out there who say the whole world is against them when in fact they're not committed to their children and never were.

[PurpleMoonlight]

The trouble is that if you do not have a presumption of equality, you have a de facto presumption of inequality.

To my mind the default position should be equal care and equal cost. If either parent should wish to amend that, then they agree the alternative with the other parent or apply to court.

The number of fathers applying to court is just a small fraction of those actually being denied a meaningful relationship with their children. Most do not even bother to try having been told that the odds of really achieving anything are poor at best.

[Justayellowbadge]

PurpleMoonlight said:

Most do not even bother to try having been told that the odds of really achieving anything are poor at best.

Not entirely true, as several contributors to this thread, myself included can attest.

However, in many cases it requires grim determination, time, a willingness to run up debts that Greece would pity and an almost infinite capacity for pain if you are to achieve anything.

It can be a war of attrition and many guys simply give up.

An equal starting point is the only logical approach, imho.

[Jasandjules]

PurpleMoonlight said:

The report says: ‘No legislation should be introduced that creates or risks creating the perception that there is a parental right to substantially shared or equal time for both parents.'

Sounds like sex discrimination to me...

[cymtriks]

Justayellowbadge said:

cymtriks said:

Personally I think

No access = No maintenance

is entirely fair and reasonable.

Absolutely not.

It allows for the converse to be true.

You lose your job - ex denies you access untill you start paying again.

You want more time - you have to pay more, even though it is now going to cost the ex less as you are supporting your child in your home for more nights.

Monetizing your children is a very, very, bad idea.

Why does it automatically allow for the converse? I pay car tax but if the potholes in the local lanes are not fixed does that imply that I can stop paying it?

If you want maintenance then let the dad see his kids. Why is that so adhorent?

I would also point out that using children to spite an ex and as a means to extract money from him in return for nothing is a very, very, bad idea.

[steviegunn]

Has anyone ever taken an action citing Article 8 of the Ooman Rights act (The Right to a Family Life) to gain access to their children, normally the courts roll over on that one.

[Tycho]

Jasandjules said:

PurpleMoonlight said:

The report says: ‘No legislation should be introduced that creates or risks creating the perception that there is a parental right to substantially shared or equal time for both parents.'

Sounds like sex discrimination to me...

It would be if it were the other way round...

I can't believe how many guys on here aren't allowed access. I cannot imagine how this would feel as I have withdrawal symptoms if I don't see my boy every day.

IMO the children need access to both parents unless there is a very good reason not too.