Property/Mortgage advice and getting rid of girlfriend's ex
Discussion
Hi everyone,
Hopefully you can help a fellow PH’er out with some advice.
Firstly a bit of background, my other half owns a flat with her ex which is currently in negative equity (probably about £8k) and in which we currently reside. Me and the Mrs pay a certain amount to the ex who then tops it up and pays the mortgage. Relations with the ex are currently OK but he doesn’t strike me as the most reliable of chaps when it comes to finances, especially as he has just split up with his wife who bankrolled him to a certain extent. As you can probably imagine my male pride also means that it rankles slightly that he is still substantially involved in our lives and I am essentially paying off part of his mortgage. The Mrs would prefer to cut all ties with him and move on as well.
Whilst we are happy in the flat at the moment it’s certainly not somewhere we see ourselves being long term and would ideally like to buy somewhere else within the year. I’m trying to work out what our options are and what the best course of action will be? Also, in the back of my mind there is always the concern that the ex stops paying the mortgage and where that would leave us?
I’ve never bought/owned property so am not sure what is possible but I figure that our options are as follows:
1. Ex transfers property to my partner and we suck up the negative equity ourselves (not sure how/if this would work)
2. Sell the property and each party covers their share of the negative equity. Seems like the best option if the ex is in a position to suck up his part of the debt.
3. We buy somewhere else and rent the flat out. Again, I’m not sure if this would be possible and it doesn’t solve the problem of getting rid of the ex. Flat was rented out before we moved in but it was a massive PITA and never really covered the mortgage.
Your thoughts would be very much appreciated on this.
Milton
Hopefully you can help a fellow PH’er out with some advice.
Firstly a bit of background, my other half owns a flat with her ex which is currently in negative equity (probably about £8k) and in which we currently reside. Me and the Mrs pay a certain amount to the ex who then tops it up and pays the mortgage. Relations with the ex are currently OK but he doesn’t strike me as the most reliable of chaps when it comes to finances, especially as he has just split up with his wife who bankrolled him to a certain extent. As you can probably imagine my male pride also means that it rankles slightly that he is still substantially involved in our lives and I am essentially paying off part of his mortgage. The Mrs would prefer to cut all ties with him and move on as well.
Whilst we are happy in the flat at the moment it’s certainly not somewhere we see ourselves being long term and would ideally like to buy somewhere else within the year. I’m trying to work out what our options are and what the best course of action will be? Also, in the back of my mind there is always the concern that the ex stops paying the mortgage and where that would leave us?
I’ve never bought/owned property so am not sure what is possible but I figure that our options are as follows:
1. Ex transfers property to my partner and we suck up the negative equity ourselves (not sure how/if this would work)
2. Sell the property and each party covers their share of the negative equity. Seems like the best option if the ex is in a position to suck up his part of the debt.
3. We buy somewhere else and rent the flat out. Again, I’m not sure if this would be possible and it doesn’t solve the problem of getting rid of the ex. Flat was rented out before we moved in but it was a massive PITA and never really covered the mortgage.
Your thoughts would be very much appreciated on this.
Milton
MiltonRX said:
Hi everyone,
Hopefully you can help a fellow PH’er out with some advice.
Firstly a bit of background, my other half owns a flat with her ex which is currently in negative equity (probably about £8k) and in which we currently reside. Me and the Mrs pay a certain amount to the ex who then tops it up and pays the mortgage. Relations with the ex are currently OK but he doesn’t strike me as the most reliable of chaps when it comes to finances, especially as he has just split up with his wife who bankrolled him to a certain extent. As you can probably imagine my male pride also means that it rankles slightly that he is still substantially involved in our lives and I am essentially paying off part of his mortgage. The Mrs would prefer to cut all ties with him and move on as well.
Whilst we are happy in the flat at the moment it’s certainly not somewhere we see ourselves being long term and would ideally like to buy somewhere else within the year. I’m trying to work out what our options are and what the best course of action will be? Also, in the back of my mind there is always the concern that the ex stops paying the mortgage and where that would leave us?
I’ve never bought/owned property so am not sure what is possible but I figure that our options are as follows:
1. Ex transfers property to my partner and we suck up the negative equity ourselves (not sure how/if this would work)
2. Sell the property and each party covers their share of the negative equity. Seems like the best option if the ex is in a position to suck up his part of the debt.
3. We buy somewhere else and rent the flat out. Again, I’m not sure if this would be possible and it doesn’t solve the problem of getting rid of the ex. Flat was rented out before we moved in but it was a massive PITA and never really covered the mortgage.
Your thoughts would be very much appreciated on this.
Milton
Why not get him to pay you his part of the mortgage payments each month and then you or your GF pay the payment? He could currently take your money for months and not pay the mortgage and just leave it to get repossessed if he went a bit psycho....Hopefully you can help a fellow PH’er out with some advice.
Firstly a bit of background, my other half owns a flat with her ex which is currently in negative equity (probably about £8k) and in which we currently reside. Me and the Mrs pay a certain amount to the ex who then tops it up and pays the mortgage. Relations with the ex are currently OK but he doesn’t strike me as the most reliable of chaps when it comes to finances, especially as he has just split up with his wife who bankrolled him to a certain extent. As you can probably imagine my male pride also means that it rankles slightly that he is still substantially involved in our lives and I am essentially paying off part of his mortgage. The Mrs would prefer to cut all ties with him and move on as well.
Whilst we are happy in the flat at the moment it’s certainly not somewhere we see ourselves being long term and would ideally like to buy somewhere else within the year. I’m trying to work out what our options are and what the best course of action will be? Also, in the back of my mind there is always the concern that the ex stops paying the mortgage and where that would leave us?
I’ve never bought/owned property so am not sure what is possible but I figure that our options are as follows:
1. Ex transfers property to my partner and we suck up the negative equity ourselves (not sure how/if this would work)
2. Sell the property and each party covers their share of the negative equity. Seems like the best option if the ex is in a position to suck up his part of the debt.
3. We buy somewhere else and rent the flat out. Again, I’m not sure if this would be possible and it doesn’t solve the problem of getting rid of the ex. Flat was rented out before we moved in but it was a massive PITA and never really covered the mortgage.
Your thoughts would be very much appreciated on this.
Milton
In any scenario the ex needs to come up with £4k, I'd find out if he can do this or not first.
MitchT said:
4. Your OH pays her ex £4k to cover her half of the negative equity so she can wash her hands of it and the two of you can move forward together, unencumbered by your OH's past.
Assuming the mortgage firm is ok with that and OH pays for the transfer of equity solicitors bill....MitchT said:
4. Your OH pays her ex £4k to cover her half of the negative equity so she can wash her hands of it and the two of you can move forward together, unencumbered by your OH's past.
This reliant on the OH being able to afford the whole mortgage on their own, in the eyes of the lender....Thanks guys, you've touched on two of my main concerns. I can't see how the ex could muster £4k and I also don't think the mortgage company would view him as able to cover the full mortgage on his own.
To be fair to him he has never missed a payment and still recognises that the place is half his responsibility i.e. paying his share of maintenance costs. He's just a bit of a loser and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel whilst he's still on board.
Cheers for your help anyway.
To be fair to him he has never missed a payment and still recognises that the place is half his responsibility i.e. paying his share of maintenance costs. He's just a bit of a loser and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel whilst he's still on board.
Cheers for your help anyway.
I think it's time to sell up.
If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
Sarnie said:
I think it's time to sell up.
If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
I'm actually in a similar position and this is what i've told my wife to do. Her ex doesn't have much money either so she's probably going to have to pay more than 50% of the negative equity, but frankly it's worth it to wash you hands of it and move on. We've looked at transferring ownership to us and remortgaging it as a BTL, but it doesn't really stack up and i've got better things to spend the £25k deposit that i'd need to put down on.If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
One thing you should definitely do is make sure that the mortgage company have your girlfriends current contact details, that way she'll find out pretty soon if her ex was to start missing payments.
Sarnie said:
I think it's time to sell up.
If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
Thanks Sarnie, I think this is the way we are leaning and he seems to be thinking the same thing. I guess the next step is to get the place in order and get a couple of estate agents round so we can work out where we stand.If he ever did miss a payment that's a missed mortgage payment on her credit file, and thats a big no no if she wants to get a mortgage in the near future with you.
It sounds like it would be in everyone's interest to sell up and split the negative equity even if it means getting a loan or putting it on a CC etc. This issue is stopping you guys moving on and getting a place of your own; £4k on a credit card won't...............
Inkyfingers said:
I'm actually in a similar position and this is what i've told my wife to do. Her ex doesn't have much money either so she's probably going to have to pay more than 50% of the negative equity, but frankly it's worth it to wash you hands of it and move on. We've looked at transferring ownership to us and remortgaging it as a BTL, but it doesn't really stack up and i've got better things to spend the £25k deposit that i'd need to put down on.
One thing you should definitely do is make sure that the mortgage company have your girlfriends current contact details, that way she'll find out pretty soon if her ex was to start missing payments.
Sorry to hear you are in a similar position, hope it works out for you. They do have her details as well so it certainly wouldn't go un-noticed.One thing you should definitely do is make sure that the mortgage company have your girlfriends current contact details, that way she'll find out pretty soon if her ex was to start missing payments.
Girlfriend really beats herself up about it but we all make mistakes and it's far from the end of the world. We just want to write it off as a life experience and move on. Wtf were Northern Rock doing throwing 105% mortgages at young couples earning bugger all anyway. Don't know how they got away with it for so long.
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