Moving away from the South East

[Diderot]

Djtemeka said:

If you both WFH then that makes things easy. Pick a spot and go.

We moved from Bromley to Bognor Regis (outskirts) and wouldn't ever change it. It's SOOOO much better. I have more work here but I'm home for dinner at 5pm every day rather than getting home by 7pm most days. My kids are happier and we are 5 min walk onto the beach. Life changing stuff

Aldwick/Felpham?

[juice]

Turtle Shed said:

Consider Somerset.

Kerniki said:

You might not be welcome there either with an English accent though..

Not true whatsoever. I moved into a little village in the Chew Valley, not deepest Somerset but given the accents round here you'd never know. Went to a Wassail yesterday with most of the people I know from the village. I am from Essex originally so have an inbuilt distrust of people

We got involved in village life, went to the pub, met people who have been nothing but welcoming to us.

We've been here 10 years now and the only issue was when I asked my neighbour when we'd considered local. "When you have relatives buried in the church" was the answer

Best thing I ever did

[VTC]

Kerniki said:

You might not be welcome there either with an English accent though..

Total BS ignore this.(IMHO)
Somerset is a superb location with lots of varied places to try.
We lived in Devon and Somerset from 1997 till 2021 6 different locations
and never once was my accent commented on or a barrier to making the mates I have still
and these are mates that would drop anything to help me and my family out, even after emigrating
they still have stepped up to help my granddaughters with cars etc.
Somerset is full of good people from my perspective.

[Kerniki]

are you really that uptight that you missed it

[xx99xx]

With no real ties to your current location, I'd say do it before the kids are too old. Certainly before your eldest starts secondary.

Loads of living options in South Wales just depends what you're looking for and whether your job would move with you. Jobs aren't as abundant in South Wales.

Unless you live in the valleys or deep west, no-one cares about an English accent. But going from SE England, in and around Cardiff would suit you best. Which ain't £200/month cheap but will be cheaper than SE England.

[Djtemeka]

Diderot said:

Djtemeka said:

If you both WFH then that makes things easy. Pick a spot and go.

We moved from Bromley to Bognor Regis (outskirts) and wouldn't ever change it. It's SOOOO much better. I have more work here but I'm home for dinner at 5pm every day rather than getting home by 7pm most days. My kids are happier and we are 5 min walk onto the beach. Life changing stuff

Aldwick/Felpham?

Felpham
Love this area!

[mdw]

18 months ago we moved from Kent to west Norfolk. Semi retired no kids at home any more. Best thing we have done. Embrace the difference and go for it. What summed it up for me was local news web site same day. Old town "pub landlord stabbed to death" up here "whose pigs are these I have secured them in this field". Life really is too short to spend it in that overpopulated traffic jammed **** hole. Do it if you can.

[Ffordd Ar Gau]

South Wales is a big area…

Depending on where you go, you may have the option of a Welsh language education for the kids. Can you cope with that? (That’s not meaning that they’ll only speak Welsh btw!)

I find that people from the south of England are probably the least liked in most areas, but people aren’t going to be putting bricks through windows.

Integration is the key. In most areas the language is used but is never ‘dominant’ except some parts of the north and west. But the key thing is to understand the language and make attempts to do so. The worst thing to do is mock it or make feeble attempts to pronounce things, for example.

In our very rural area, we have new neighbours from Berkshire. They’re not my cup of tea, but then again it’s not necessarily because they are southerners. Typical townies in a rural area, which never goes down too well. If you’re moving to a town, then that’s going to be less of an issue. Another couple near by retired from Reading and want to go back as it’s too quiet (!!! )
Most larger towns or villages will have adequate internet for WFH.

The politics really aren’t that bad, the media is good at painting a picture of everything being awful. Eg the NHS is in a state in whichever nation of the U.K. you are in, not just here. 20mph. You get over it. I’m yet to hear of anyone leaving Wales because of the speed limits put it that way!

The key is to be open and broad minded. I’m sure if you have an appreciation for the natural environment and outdoor pursuits then you will have plenty of enjoyment from here. Research it, look at houses and compare. Look into the education and devolved politics if you so desire first. If you can’t stomach another language or government, there’s plenty of nice places in England too
Another vote for Somerset or elsewhere in West Country. Half of my family is from there, so I have a connection, but is somewhere I would consider living…maybe! Not as cheap in property terms though!

[defblade]

Ffordd Ar Gau said:

South Wales is a big area…

Depending on where you go, you may have the option of a Welsh language education for the kids. Can you cope with that? (That’s not meaning that they’ll only speak Welsh btw!)

Much as I love Carmarthenshire - we moved here from Oxfordshire nearly 16 years ago now - this is one thing I would be very careful about for your children, especially primary age. There are now no primary schools with an English stream anywhere near us, and English steam secondary is limited. Some of the schoools give detention for speaking English at any time during the school day!! And children taught in Welsh, quite simply, don't do so well in GCSEs etc as those taught in English. This goes double in science and maths.
(My BinL is a teacher in Swansea, wife has been a part-time GCSE/A-level maths tutor, if you'd like some qualification for those statements.)

Happily, we got our daughter through with English streams closing up behind her, and drove her to a more distant secondary/6 form that taught in English.


Otherwise, it's lovely here - as others have said, make a tiny bit of an effort and you'll be welcomed.
(And if you move into a house with a Welsh name, learn to pronounce it. Don't change it to an English one... we've been told that's what all the (rural-ish) locals watch out for with in-comers - leave it Welsh and you're automatically half-way to OK before anything else!)

[bennno]

Ffordd Ar Gau said:

South Wales is a big area…

Depending on where you go, you may have the option of a Welsh language education for the kids. Can you cope with that? (That’s not meaning that they’ll only speak Welsh btw!)

I find that people from the south of England are probably the least liked in most areas, but people aren’t going to be putting bricks through windows.

Integration is the key. In most areas the language is used but is never ‘dominant’ except some parts of the north and west. But the key thing is to understand the language and make attempts to do so. The worst thing to do is mock it or make feeble attempts to pronounce things, for example.

In our very rural area, we have new neighbours from Berkshire. They’re not my cup of tea, but then again it’s not necessarily because they are southerners. Typical townies in a rural area, which never goes down too well. If you’re moving to a town, then that’s going to be less of an issue. Another couple near by retired from Reading and want to go back as it’s too quiet (!!! )
Most larger towns or villages will have adequate internet for WFH.

The politics really aren’t that bad, the media is good at painting a picture of everything being awful. Eg the NHS is in a state in whichever nation of the U.K. you are in, not just here. 20mph. You get over it. I’m yet to hear of anyone leaving Wales because of the speed limits put it that way!

The key is to be open and broad minded. I’m sure if you have an appreciation for the natural environment and outdoor pursuits then you will have plenty of enjoyment from here. Research it, look at houses and compare. Look into the education and devolved politics if you so desire first. If you can’t stomach another language or government, there’s plenty of nice places in England too
Another vote for Somerset or elsewhere in West Country. Half of my family is from there, so I have a connection, but is somewhere I would consider living…maybe! Not as cheap in property terms though!

And in a single post there’s your issue. The ‘open and broad minded Welshman’ not recognising that Welsh is spoken by less than 30% of the Welsh population and therefore expecting everybody to speak it (70% of the Welsh don’t / can’t), demonstrating a xenophobic dislike of the southern English, believing 20 years of devolution is a success despite terrible relative performance of Education and NHS due to labour mismanagement.

Attitude is more common in places like Carmarthenshire, Ceridigionshire, Gwynedd less so in Monmouthshire and South Pembrokeshire.

[Stuart70]

Worth remembering when relocating for a “different” life that, for good or ill, you take yourself with you.

[GT03ROB]

Stuart70 said:

Worth remembering when relocating for a “different” life that, for good or ill, you take yourself with you.

Very true & something many ignore. However to be fair the OP does not seem to be running from anything.

There is a whole world out there outside of the south east. Once you start to consider moving away the options are numerous so I wouldn't just focus on South Wales. Parts of South Wales are cheap for a reason. I would be more open minded about an eventual location. A few things I would consider though:

• do it sooner rather than later for the kids. The older they get the more disruptive it will be.
• do not underestimate the impact aging parents have, when the family is dispersed. Both of my wifes' parents are now in homes. Until that happened she had the impossible challenge of at least a 2 1/3 hr journey each way to get to them. Now they are in homes it's still a long round trip to get to them.
• are you the sociable sort? If you are not you will feel isolated & lonely away from establish social circles.
• WFH is likely a fad. What happens if you can't WFH? Can you find work where you will be moving to.

You are currently paying a shedload of rent for not much & if you don't need to be near London its a total waste. I'd also be looking to move. Though probably not to South Wales!!

[Kermit power]

StevieBee said:

You're going to get a whole host of opinions because there's a whole host of considerations to make.

There is the attraction of a cheaper cost of living and if you can maintain your existing levels of family income then happy days. South Wales (most of it) is lovely. Like anywhere, how well you fit into the community there will be dependent upon how much you sink yourself into community life. If you're not a neighbour person and prefer to keep yourself to yourself, then you will struggle a bit but that applies to most places.

You should also consider the move a complete change of life and how that may affect you and the children. We live in rural mid Essex. My FiL and his wife moved from being about 10 minutes away from us to Shrewsbury a couple of years ago. We went from seeing them at least once every two weeks or so, popping round for a beer or BBQ whenever, to now seeing them four or five times a year. I think they forgot that we still work and have commitments that mean we can't just head off or devote a weekend to them on a whim.

So, whilst you say you don't have much of a family and just a few friends, you need to think about whether you are bothered about seeing them even less that you perhaps do at the moment.

And the other thing to think on is when your kids are older. I have long drilled into my two kids (now adults) that being born British and living in close proximity to London is a lottery win in life. It shouldn't be and we can argue that point on a different thread but fact is that London is where a lot of the big stuff happens. And with the best will in the world, the opposite to much of South Wales. So, when they get older, you need to make peace with the fact that they may well gravitate back towards the south east and London.

Ultimately, if it feels right, it's right. You wife and kids need to have the same level of enthusiasm as you do about it. If they don't, your life will come less than ideal.

Don't know if that helps but hopefully will help to focus your thinking a bit.

My formative years were in a small rural village far from London so I've never been truly happy living in the suburbs of London but largely felt the same way as you about my kids' futures.

Over the past few years, however, my thinking has pretty much done a 180. We could stay here once our youngest finishes school and watch their lives stagnate as they just can't afford to get on the housing ladder, or we could relocate Westwards/Northwards and give them a chance to build a life for themselves somewhere where that first place will cost them half or less what it will here. It's increasingly starting to feel like the obvious choice.

[PlywoodPascal]

I grew up in the south east, and now live in Scotland. before that moved around the UK a little.
I appreciate the lower population density here really very much.
but don't underestimate how much stter the weather, and how much darker the winters, are in more northerly/westerly bits of the UK. I hate the winter here and the summer is st too. Locals think 14ºC is BBQ weather.

Edited by PlywoodPascal on Tuesday 23 January 04:42

[ocrx8]

Stuart70 said:

Worth remembering when relocating for a “different” life that, for good or ill, you take yourself with you.

Agree with this, it’s the biggest barrier of change of all. I relocated five years ago and it became readily apparent.

If I were the OP I’d give it a shot. Hate to regret not having given it a go.

[SIMON67]

We moved from the SE (40 mins to Victoria) to South Devon 2 years ago. We waited for the kids to have flown the nest for uni before putting the for sale sign up.

It's not been a bed of roses - stressful moving home and jobs at the same time and literally not knowing a soul in the area that we live.

But the big benefits to us are living by the sea (massive), having so many new places to explore and living in an area with a much slower pace of life. Many of the benefits become really obvious when we visit friends and family back in the SE. The population density, anger of drivers and the general busyness are most noticeable.

Moving away from friends and family is the big negative although when we do see people (SE or Devon), the quality of the time together is really good.

OP - everyone's situations are different - if unsure, I'd take an extended holiday in your intended destination and really think what it would feel like to live there permanently - winter and summer.

Good luck with your move

[Vasco]

Living in the London/SE area is horribly expensive and, for many people, has too few benefits to offset those massive costs.
I, and many others, decided to move away to areas that are both much cheaper and far more relaxing. It's been wonderful and something that I would recommend to others.

[119]

We lived by the sea for 30+ years and couldn't wait to get away from it, and all the lower ends of society that used to rain down on it in the summer.

But, horses for courses and all that

[Austin_Metro]

I moved from one of the beautiful / cheaper / lower opportunity areas to the South East … and as a result my kids’ grandparents are hundreds of miles away. Which is a real shame as I benefited a lot from my grandparents time.

OP, where could you move an hour or so further west that has a bit of everything? Cheaper, better countryside but still close enough to the grandparents and big smoke if needed.

[thepritch]

PlywoodPascal said:

but don't underestimate how much stter the weather, and how much darker the winters, are

Edited by PlywoodPascal on Tuesday 23 January 04:42

To balance this out, N Scotland over a year actually has more daylight than SE England.





(….. it’s just hidden behind thick rain clouds most of the time )

To the OP :

We lived in the SE for 26years, and although we have no regrets, really don’t regret moving away alot further north 2 yrs ago. My reasons were to be closer to family, so that is something to OP should think about depending on their relationship to their folks. The SE is eye wateringly expensive for houses and rent, and moving away does get you much more for your cash, but not everything is cheap when living further afield especially when living rurally. We spend way more on energy bills per m2, and despite wfh now do the same annual mileage in the cars. We also head out to explore the countryside more so are spending more on days out. And the obvious one, as you’ll get a bigger house for the money, you’ll need to spend more on its upkeep.

Of course, upsides more than compensate for us, but it’s not for everyone.

Edited by thepritch on Tuesday 23 January 07:57