I have a mental neighbour
Discussion
skilly1 said:
PHmember said:
Link did not work, but it did lead me to this which is topicalhttp://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
This.Either:-
Send them a note back saying that you don't have a cat but that you have been using a new security light testing service and you believe that they use cats for this. Suggest that as they have been getting their light tested for free you believe they should contribute to the cost of the service.
Or:
Write them a really nice, polite letter explaining that although you can see that they might be getting irritated about it that you don't have a cat and even if you did you probably would be unable to control it to the extent of saying whose security lights it did or didn't walk under. Try to avoid using the words "retard" and "imbecile" whereever possible. Then rather then trespassing on their property (and risk setting off their security light) to post the letter through the door yourself send it by post.. but with not enough postage on it
Send them a note back saying that you don't have a cat but that you have been using a new security light testing service and you believe that they use cats for this. Suggest that as they have been getting their light tested for free you believe they should contribute to the cost of the service.
Or:
Write them a really nice, polite letter explaining that although you can see that they might be getting irritated about it that you don't have a cat and even if you did you probably would be unable to control it to the extent of saying whose security lights it did or didn't walk under. Try to avoid using the words "retard" and "imbecile" whereever possible. Then rather then trespassing on their property (and risk setting off their security light) to post the letter through the door yourself send it by post.. but with not enough postage on it
1. Go round his house
2. Ask for evidence of the cat setting the light off
3. Argue why he's posting notes through your door
4. Argue why his light is so sensitive
5. Argue all of the above with him for as long as possible
6. Tell him it's not your cat and you don't know who it belongs to
7. Leave
2. Ask for evidence of the cat setting the light off
3. Argue why he's posting notes through your door
4. Argue why his light is so sensitive
5. Argue all of the above with him for as long as possible
6. Tell him it's not your cat and you don't know who it belongs to
7. Leave
Dear Sir/Madame,
Are you f
king serious?
Yours gob-smacked,
<name>
It's the reply that will then give you some material to work with.
Edit: Alternatively, Charge him for storage of the note he posted through your letterbox. Don't return the note until storage costs are paid. Set the rate at 50p a day.
Are you f
king serious? Yours gob-smacked,
<name>
It's the reply that will then give you some material to work with.
Edit: Alternatively, Charge him for storage of the note he posted through your letterbox. Don't return the note until storage costs are paid. Set the rate at 50p a day.
Edited by Frankeh on Tuesday 2nd November 12:41
KaraK said:
Write them a really nice, polite letter explaining that although you can see that they might be getting irritated about it that you don't have a cat and even if you did you probably would be unable to control it to the extent of saying whose security lights it did or didn't walk under. Try to avoid using the words "retard" and "imbecile" whereever possible. Then rather then trespassing on their property (and risk setting off their security light) to post the letter through the door yourself send it by post.. but with not enough postage on it
Add in £2 as goodwill.... In coppers. Attach a second class stamp. 
DavesFlaps said:
Hire a cat costume from a fancy dress shop.
Put on cat costume, go round to his house and ask if he has "a fking problem".
We have a winner.Put on cat costume, go round to his house and ask if he has "a f
king problem".Please, please do this.
FFS mods... why was this moved to Homes, Gardens and DIY. It's lounge material... nota serious DIY or other question....
Edited by plg on Tuesday 2nd November 12:48
I would write back and slip a note in HIS letterbox (amek sure it bangs loudly and walk down his driveway slowly so they know its you). The note should question his decision to set his security light so bloody sensitive that any passing feline may set it off, when you were led to believe that they were usually to alert you of a person in the vicinity, as opposed to Tiddles the cat.
I would ask for pictorial evidence that in was indeed, your cat that was specifically the animal in question responsible for setting the light off. If none can be provided, then you don't see why you should cough up on what amounts to supposition.
After the replies to and fro for a while, politely tell him to do one, and that you don't own a cat.
You may wish to follow this up by defecating in to a Jiffy bag, and send this to him. Cover letter not necessary.
I would ask for pictorial evidence that in was indeed, your cat that was specifically the animal in question responsible for setting the light off. If none can be provided, then you don't see why you should cough up on what amounts to supposition.
After the replies to and fro for a while, politely tell him to do one, and that you don't own a cat.
You may wish to follow this up by defecating in to a Jiffy bag, and send this to him. Cover letter not necessary.
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