The Thread Where Doofus Shouts Into The Void

[Harry Flashman]

What about if you describe yourself as an absolute weapon? Hmm?

Disarming, in my case. Possibly accurate, too.

[glenrobbo]

I just clicked on a link, tumbled down a rabbit hole and found myself here.

What an awesome place!

Now, how on earth do I get back to wherever I was?

HELP!!!

[glenrobbo]

Homes, Gardens and DIY???

Really?

I need to find a washing line with some clothes pegged out to dry.

Just to preserve my modesty.

I don't remember having that much to drink.
Some bd must have spiked me...

[anonymous-user]

glenrobbo said:

I just clicked on a link, tumbled down a rabbit hole and found myself here.

What an awesome place!

Now, how on earth do I get back to wherever I was?

HELP!!!

It’s magical I got here yesterday evening, posted about BLM and black holes. The post disappeared but the thread kept in My Stuff.

[Doofus]

Stop calling everyone 'Sir' you obsequious fkpigs!

[Simpo Two]

You can always tell when a thread arrives from Pie & Piston. You've never seen it before, it arrives half-formed, complete with pointless half-fought arguments, and makes no sense to anyone apart from those who fell in through the door rolling about kicking and screaming.

[jwilco]

Doofus said:

Did anybody ever put a parcel on their parcel shelf?

Tissues, yes. Cushions, yes (inexplicably). Nodding dogs, even? yes, but parcels?

When the parcel shelf was invented, what did they assume to boot was going to be used for?

Unsure if this is a 'joke'... but I imagine there's a good chance the "parcel" in "parcel shelf" has nothing to do with the Postman Pat variety. The origins of the word are more closely related to what we might now term as divide/apportion - so I've always assumed it is called a "parcel" shelf because it divides the car into the passenger compartment and the boot space.

[anonymous-user]

jwilco said:

Unsure if this is a 'joke'... but I imagine there's a good chance the "parcel" in "parcel shelf" has nothing to do with the Postman Pat variety. The origins of the word are more closely related to what we might now term as divide/apportion - so I've always assumed it is called a "parcel" shelf because it divides the car into the passenger compartment and the boot space.

I was thinking about this origin 2 days ago. Concluded it had to be from a 1920’s Postman Pat and never thought of it as parcel=partition that’s a bit too lateral shirley?

[jwilco]

V6 Pushfit said:

I was thinking about this origin 2 days ago. Concluded it had to be from a 1920’s Postman Pat and never thought of it as parcel=partition that’s a bit too lateral shirley?

Maybe you're right, and it could have just as easily ended up a fish tackle shelf.

[Doofus]

O. M. F. G.

All the fking cars I drove in the fking 1980s
All the fking cars I drove in the fking 1990s
All the fking cars I drove in the fking 2000s
All my fking cars.
All my dad's fking cars
All my mum's fking cars
All my grandad's fking cars
All my fking teachers' fking cars

Will it never fking end?

fksake!

[Clifford Chambers]

Doofus said:

O. M. F. G.

All the fking cars I drove in the fking 1980s
All the fking cars I drove in the fking 1990s
All the fking cars I drove in the fking 2000s
All my fking cars.
All my dad's fking cars
All my mum's fking cars
All my grandad's fking cars
All my fking teachers' fking cars

Will it never fking end?

fksake!

It's not compulsory.

[Doofus]

Stop saying fking 'lol' at the end of every fking sentence.

You're not actually fking lolling and what you said wasn't lolworthy. If it was, you wouldn't have to fking tell us to fking lol.

Just fking stop it.

[Doofus]

So it turns out that the 1966 football world cup was played in England.

I still couldn't give the tiniest st.

[AW111]

Doofus said:

So it turns out that the 1966 football world cup was played in England.

I still couldn't give the tiniest st.

I feel for you. Have you tried fibre?

[Doofus]

I avoid NP&E because of the swivel-eyed loons.

Today, I accidentally went into a thread called "Automotive Vloggers".

fk me. Those NP&E people are amateurs.

[Harry Flashman]

I must now look at this thread.

[MrBig]

Bookmarked.

[Doofus]

Why does everything have to be "random" or fking "cheeky"?

What's wrong with vocabulary?

[anonymous-user]

Doofus said:

Why does everything have to be "random" or fking "cheeky"?

What's wrong with vocabulary?

What about people who use ‘like’ all the time including starting every sentence.

Don’t they get a look in?

[FWIW]

Harry Flashman said:

I must now look at this thread.

Again?