Longleat Safari - will my car be destroyed?

[FiF]

Thought it was generally accepted that standard monkey procedure was, a) rip out washer jets and pipework, b) strip wiper rubbers and finally c) st on the windscreen.

Who taught them that sequence?

[Eddie Strohacker]

FiF said:

Thought it was generally accepted that standard monkey procedure was, a) rip out washer jets and pipework, b) strip wiper rubbers and finally c) st on the windscreen.

Who taught them that sequence?

Longleat Body repairs Ltd. Prop. K Kong.

[marcosgt]

Many years ago, my wife went there with her sister and BIL.

BIL had a SAAB at the time, with the big rubbery spoiler on the back - The monkeys took big chunks out of that!

M

PS Check your roof after you leave too

[DonkeyApple]

andy118run said:

been to Woburn a couple of times.
Presume it's similar as they also have a monkey drive through.
Went through it both times with no issues. The first time the monkeys jumped on the bonnet, the second they were occupied by other cars.
As mentioned above, it's part of the fun, the kids will love it.
Go for it, you only live once!

Strangely, the monkeys at Woburn are perfectly civilised. They may go and sit on a car but I've never actually seen them do any damage.

Conversely, the monkeys at Longleat are like a bunch of horse traders sweeping through a town. They'll take anything that's not bolted down.

If you do end up in the enclosure just make sure you leave a very big gap between you and the cars infront so they can never hold you back and you can keep moving. It seems to be when a car stops or gets stopped that they move in and strip it.

[768]

I wouldn't miss the monkey enclosure if at all possible, it's hilarious watching how efficiently and with such determination the little buggers break cars. And marriages.

[GCH]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sst5olU-0jw

[QuickQuack]

Yeah, did the monkeys once. Came out with no parking sensors which explained why the bds in the car behind were pointing at us and laughing

[njw1]

This thread has brought back some very old memories of my uncle's nearly new Cav SRi getting it's washer jets removed. And on a school trip many years ago to West Midlands safari park the bus broke down slap bang in the middle of the lion enclosure, the ranger guy who turned with (what I think was?) a tranquilizer gun in his Land Rover looked like David Seaman and my mate had a bking for shouting DAVE out of the window of the bus at him continuously.

[Old Merc]

[iceyfuel]

Well a huge thanks for the replies guys. Some of them really had me laughing!! Luckily I'm not married and I don't kids so I may well avoid the monkeys.

It is quite amazing how much the little scrotes manage to destroy things!

[Saleen836]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

They currently have a animatronic predators display (included with entrance ticket)
https://www.longleat.co.uk/whats-on/predators
Feeding the Giraffes is always a good shout and the bird of prey display

[SHutchinson]

Byker28i said:

we went 3 years ago, they stripped the vinyl roof off the car in front

Did you miss a zero from that figure? I've not seen a vinyl roof in many a year!

[DonkeyApple]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Enterprise. Just get the full insurance package and have the remnants low loaded back to them?

[SwissJonese]

We went over Christmas and took the bus. So much damage to cars, I am not sure why people do it? The worst was monkeys doing a dump on a couple of cars bonnets- yuck.

[FiF]

You could do the tour in your car, avoid the monkey enclosure. Then take a bus tour so you get the full monkeying about experience.

Oh get ready to experience the "lions constantly shagging section", if it's anything like our visit.

[P1ato]

When we went the monkeys did no damage: they were too busy shagging on the roof of the car in front...then they swapped roles, the dirty buggers.

[SydneyBridge]

bus every time.. however much it costs, its worth it!

my son has always liked the boat around the gorilla island and there is an excellent adventure playground type thing

[Saleen836]

SydneyBridge said:

bus every time.. however much it costs, its worth it!

my son has always liked the boat around the gorilla island and there is an excellent adventure playground type thing

Sadly no Gorilla anymore since he passed away back in January

[R8Steve]

GCH said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sst5olU-0jw

WTF!

[akirk]

R8Steve said:

GCH said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sst5olU-0jw

WTF!

That is the training video - shown to all new monkeys on arrival at Longleat
It is a Longleat car (hence Safari numberplate), not a customer car...

we went through behind a VW camper with 3 surfboards and a box on the roof - not much left by the time they came out!
So pick a more interesting car to follow