Likely outcome for being rude to a passport control man
Discussion
isee said:
TOENHEEL said:
isee said:
215cu said:
Digga said:
RDMcG said:
I travel a huge amount, (100k airmiles a year), and my basic rule is to be boringly polite,zero small talk , and never react to these folks anywhere.They have a lot of power to detain you, and its not worth the aggro.
+1In my youth (and to paraphrase Dylan Moran, it is "stupidity that propells you along when you are young") I had a run-in with officials at Chicago O'Hare.
I'd filled out a little immigration 'card' thingy on the plane - as requested - and, when I arrived at pasport control, I asked the (surly cow of a) passport inspector whether it was she who I should give the card to. She merely lowered here eyes nodded towards a huge pile of these things on her desk, to which I duly added my card.
I set off toward baggage reclaim and some stick-up-his-arse official pulls me to one side and asks for 'a card'. There is some confusion along the lines of "no, I don't have any card" and "SIR! you do have a card." I then put two and two together and ask that he looks at the huge piles of these 'cards' stacking up on evey passport inspectors desk - "is that the sort of card you mean?".
I go and fetch my 'card' and offer the polite suggestion that the inspectors should perhaps not allow people to leave the cards at their desk if they're not supposed to etc. etc. a piont which fails to make any impact on the asshole. As an aside - I'm pissed off by now and not long out of my 'beer 'n' fighting years' - I remark that the US is one of the most unpleasant and unwelcmoning places to visit and immediately I know I've overstepped the mark.
The guys face turns to thunder, I briefly fancy he's pondering whether he'll pull a sidearm on me or take me to have my 'luggage inspected' but instead he throws my passport straight at me and tells me to get "out of his sight". On reflection, I was lucky and no, I would not do this again.
If it wasn't that, thanks to previous visits to Syria & Jordan (both on business with very pretty Arabic visas in my passport) and some moderate Arab countries (Morocco, Egypt and Turkey) for hols, I guess I'm a one man walking axis of evil
Christ, that didn't go down well as he flicked through my passport (there a stamp for Slovenia did fox him - I had to remind him it was part of the former Yugoslavia and that went down really well). He even called me a Limey, f
k I was that close to recanting every single US fk up since the Boston Tea party for that.I smiled wryily, thanked him for checking my passport, wishing him a 'havva nice day' and carried on.
Saying that, on a recent holiday to Cuba, they are the security staff you really don't f
k with, it makes Russia look positively liberal. I asked the lady (a real Latina hottie in uniform - be still my aching hard on) very nicely if she would stamp my passport. She smiled very sweetly and delivered a whacking huge red stamp proudly stating "Cuba".So next time I visit the US (unlikely in the near future) my new passport has a stamp in it that will really get their security hot under the collar.
Viva la Revolucion.
PAradisus Rio de oro is the best resort in cuba (according to the locals and trip advisor) in Varadero
Also try out their skydiving offers. I wasn't sure if I had the guts to jump out of the plane, but having gone up in a 60 year old Antonov 2 I was convinced that it was safer jumping out with a parachute than landing in that plane
Edited by TOENHEEL on Tuesday 3rd March 14:48
Years ago, a friend was checking in at a desk, was stood behind an awkward passenger who seemed to need to ask every question under the sun to the check in clerk. After 10 mins it was eventually my friends turn at which he joked 'got a bomb in my bag' to the clerk to lighten his mood after the previous passenger.
My friend was then promptly frog marched off, searched, interrogated, searched again, rubber gloved & thrown into a cell, before obtaining a record for making bomb hoax's...
He missed his flight......... which later crashed into an appartment building in Holland.
Think yourself luck that he could have been laughing about the way you said 'hello'
My friend was then promptly frog marched off, searched, interrogated, searched again, rubber gloved & thrown into a cell, before obtaining a record for making bomb hoax's...
He missed his flight......... which later crashed into an appartment building in Holland.
Think yourself luck that he could have been laughing about the way you said 'hello'
Many years ago, I was in what served as the check in area for Khartoum airport. The security cum customs guy was checking my backpack before it was to be loaded onto my flight to Ethiopia.
He handed me a form to fill in. Not having a pen I gestured to borrow his. He, in return, slung it at me in a less than friendly manner.
After filling in the form, I returned the pen to him in a similar style.......
.......two days later I was finally allowed to board a flight out of that god forsaken hell hole.
Customs men at airports? Leave well alone.
He handed me a form to fill in. Not having a pen I gestured to borrow his. He, in return, slung it at me in a less than friendly manner.
After filling in the form, I returned the pen to him in a similar style.......
.......two days later I was finally allowed to board a flight out of that god forsaken hell hole.
Customs men at airports? Leave well alone.
SGirl said:
Once they know you're British, you have a hell of a time persuading them not to practise their English on you. 
Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
My OH hates it when I don't speak Swedish to her.Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
But generally, yes, most times I speak Swedish, the other part(ies) turn it around to English. If you carry on with Swedish, then they give up.
Edited by AndyBe on Tuesday 3rd March 14:54
Blib said:
Many years ago, I was in what served as the check in area for Khartoum airport. The security cum customs guy was checking my backpack before it was to be loaded onto my flight to Ethiopia.
He handed me a form to fill in. Not having a pen I gestured to borrow his. He, in return, slung it at me in a less than friendly manner.
After filling in the form, I returned the pen to him in a similar style.......
.......two days later I was finally allowed to board a flight out of that god forsaken hell hole.
Customs men at airports? Leave well alone.
Wow...He handed me a form to fill in. Not having a pen I gestured to borrow his. He, in return, slung it at me in a less than friendly manner.
After filling in the form, I returned the pen to him in a similar style.......
.......two days later I was finally allowed to board a flight out of that god forsaken hell hole.
Customs men at airports? Leave well alone.
Well looks like I know what job I will want to get as a part time retirement job
AndyBe said:
SGirl said:
Once they know you're British, you have a hell of a time persuading them not to practise their English on you.
Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
My OH hates it when I speak Swedish to her.Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
Digga said:
AndyBe said:
SGirl said:
Once they know you're British, you have a hell of a time persuading them not to practise their English on you.
Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
My OH hates it when I speak Swedish to her.Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
AndyBe said:
Digga said:
AndyBe said:
SGirl said:
Once they know you're British, you have a hell of a time persuading them not to practise their English on you.
Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
My OH hates it when I speak Swedish to her.Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
AndyBe said:
Digga said:
AndyBe said:
SGirl said:
Once they know you're British, you have a hell of a time persuading them not to practise their English on you.
Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
My OH hates it when I speak Swedish to her.Although that said, many of the older generation don't speak English - or at least, not well enough to even get by. But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
TOENHEEL said:
isee said:
215cu said:
Digga said:
RDMcG said:
I travel a huge amount, (100k airmiles a year), and my basic rule is to be boringly polite,zero small talk , and never react to these folks anywhere.They have a lot of power to detain you, and its not worth the aggro.
+1In my youth (and to paraphrase Dylan Moran, it is "stupidity that propells you along when you are young") I had a run-in with officials at Chicago O'Hare.
I'd filled out a little immigration 'card' thingy on the plane - as requested - and, when I arrived at pasport control, I asked the (surly cow of a) passport inspector whether it was she who I should give the card to. She merely lowered here eyes nodded towards a huge pile of these things on her desk, to which I duly added my card.
I set off toward baggage reclaim and some stick-up-his-arse official pulls me to one side and asks for 'a card'. There is some confusion along the lines of "no, I don't have any card" and "SIR! you do have a card." I then put two and two together and ask that he looks at the huge piles of these 'cards' stacking up on evey passport inspectors desk - "is that the sort of card you mean?".
I go and fetch my 'card' and offer the polite suggestion that the inspectors should perhaps not allow people to leave the cards at their desk if they're not supposed to etc. etc. a piont which fails to make any impact on the asshole. As an aside - I'm pissed off by now and not long out of my 'beer 'n' fighting years' - I remark that the US is one of the most unpleasant and unwelcmoning places to visit and immediately I know I've overstepped the mark.
The guys face turns to thunder, I briefly fancy he's pondering whether he'll pull a sidearm on me or take me to have my 'luggage inspected' but instead he throws my passport straight at me and tells me to get "out of his sight". On reflection, I was lucky and no, I would not do this again.
If it wasn't that, thanks to previous visits to Syria & Jordan (both on business with very pretty Arabic visas in my passport) and some moderate Arab countries (Morocco, Egypt and Turkey) for hols, I guess I'm a one man walking axis of evil
Christ, that didn't go down well as he flicked through my passport (there a stamp for Slovenia did fox him - I had to remind him it was part of the former Yugoslavia and that went down really well). He even called me a Limey, f
k I was that close to recanting every single US fk up since the Boston Tea party for that.I smiled wryily, thanked him for checking my passport, wishing him a 'havva nice day' and carried on.
Saying that, on a recent holiday to Cuba, they are the security staff you really don't f
k with, it makes Russia look positively liberal. I asked the lady (a real Latina hottie in uniform - be still my aching hard on) very nicely if she would stamp my passport. She smiled very sweetly and delivered a whacking huge red stamp proudly stating "Cuba".So next time I visit the US (unlikely in the near future) my new passport has a stamp in it that will really get their security hot under the collar.
Viva la Revolucion.
Richard.John said:
A little kindness goes a long way, so there are some nice ones at Heathrow and other airports I am sure. Of course there are some prize pricks too.
I'd agree with that. I always try to smile and be polite, usually greeting them in their language and apologising if that's the full extent of my knowledge of it, however long the flight has been. It usually works, of course there can always be an exception. Only real trouble I've had was at Prague when my passport didn't have the required number of days left on it (although I'd already checked with the FO that I'd be ok). The guy at passport control wanted me to get on the next flight home so I politely, but firmly, stood my ground, as I couldn't see that I had much to lose. He eventually decided that it was less hassle to let me in.
I did know someone, however, who thought that they were going to be enacting scenes from Midnight Express after Turkish guards decided that there were "irregularities" with their passport. I don't know if the accusations were genuine or an attempt to get bribes, but after 24 hours he was a little shaken up at his treatment, which took some doing.
I can usually read the sort of reception i'm going to get as i walk upto them, i even had a light hearted officer in Newark which came as a total suprise to me. He joked that i didn't deseve to travel with such a pretty girl, and therefore wasn't letting me in. Then laughed and stamped me through.
I get a frosty reception when i travel alone, especially to the states. I'll speak when spoken to normally, it isn't worth the hassle.
I get a frosty reception when i travel alone, especially to the states. I'll speak when spoken to normally, it isn't worth the hassle.
isee said:
I also had the pleasure of attending a meeting between my company and representatives of a another, very wealthy company. Who did not realise I speak their language. After they had finished talking amongst themselves about how can they extract the info from us without promising us any busines or in fact making us cotton on to the fact that they are there for a purpose that would more appropriately be described as competition, I politely asked the interpreter to stop wasting his time and addressed the representatives directly... I cannot begin to explain how entertained i was watching their faces and the body language from that moment on...
Priceless.Actually something similar was a key plotline in the TV movie "Nice Work" starring Warren Clarke and Haydn Gwynne (I had to look that up) where she poses as his ditzy trophy wife in a business meeting and hears the Germans he is negotiating with say they'll stuff him by misleading him into thinking he is buying the industrial machinery he is negotiating on with computer controllers but supplying cheaper mechanical ones. She takes him to one side under a pretence, tells him, and he returns to the table and later says "and, of course, these are supplied with the computer controllers" and they grit their teeth and say "but of course".
At the end of the meeting she drops the ditzy act and tells the Germans in flawless German that she has very much enjoyed the meeting or something.
SGirl said:
I was in a pub (well, Kneipe) in Germany with a gang of Swedish girls once and the only space free was at a table already occupied by four German guys. They indicated that we should sit there with them, we didn't address them at all. We were all sitting and chatting in Swedish when we overheard the German guys going on about "that blonde one there's fit, bet she goes like a ferret" and all that stuff. All of us spoke German, so we kept straight faces and just carried on our conversation. But then the waitress came over to tell us one of the wines we'd ordered had run out, and to ask us what we'd like instead - and at that point we switched our conversation to German and discussed which of the wines we'd like.
I've never seen four blokes exit a pub so fast in my life.
Classic. I've never seen four blokes exit a pub so fast in my life.
SirTainly said:
Too bad you didn't speak whatever langauge he did, you could have thanked him profusely in that and marvelled at his priceless expression.
Just because someone chooses not to speak a language, never assume they can't.
yep... I remember when me and the OH (she is finnish) went to malaysia and one of the passport control people said to his mate something in malay about hot totty coming through and i would like to get a piece of that.... Just because someone chooses not to speak a language, never assume they can't.
what the little f
ker didnt know was that she speaks malay fluently (they just assumed because she is white and female she doesnt) she thanked them for such a nice comment and that she wouldnt tell me whilst i was stood next to her (i dont speak it) just in case i took offence. I wondered why they suddenly looked very sheepish and was only told once we got past the control office.Very amusing at the time
SGirl said:
But mad Swedes are mad Swedes. Anyone who knows mad Swedes will know what I mean.
Their brains just aren't wired the same way as the rest of the planet!As for passport/immigration control - the USA has got to be the worst, they are the most obnoxious, power mad folks I've ever met, and believe me I've played a few 'mind games' with these boys and it's just not worth it. Being sent back to the end of a 30 minute que to clear is about the worst 'detention' I've had but I have had a heavy build security type run towards me looking like he had every intention to draw his gun.
Airports are not the place to piss about unless you have a lot of time to spare!
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