New neighbour moved in my street who spits in my garden??

[robbocop33]

Now ok,i know there are a lot more important things in life,but this is really winding me up.Picture the situation,new neighbour moves in couple of doors away,and virtually 'every' time he passes my garden he spits in it,no,never onto the street,'always' in my garden and it's really winding me up.
You know before you even speak to someone you know you're just not going to take to them?,well there's that as well!He's in his early 30's and moved in with his girlfriend and their main purpose seems to be pumping out kids(seven and she's currently pregnant).
I know for a fact if i went out and comfronted him it would end up in a fight,he looks the thuggish type,walks around never talking or looking at anyone(you know the type)what would you do?
Thing that bothers me about this is my misses likes working in the garden and its the thought of her crawling around in this ignorant gits phlegm!

[kiethton]

Same method as cat's...sit at the first floor window with a super soaker...

After a time or 2 he'll shortly stop

[sparkythecat]

You could claim to be LGBT and report it as a hate crime.
It may help to put on a dress and get lippied up when the scuffers come to visit you.

[Hoofy]

Does he only do it in your garden? Or anyone's?

If it's into a flowerbed, I'd just leave it. If it's landing on your car, then that needs dealing with!

Edited by Hoofy on Sunday 26th March 11:35

[Gargamel]

Nasty. Try to be more phlegmatic about it...

[jkh112]

Put a spittoon in as a garden ornament.

[Petrol Only]

Move, you obviously live somewhere st if someone with 7 kids is your neighbour ewwwww.

[ApOrbital]

Go and have a crap in his garden.

[Alex_225]

Tricky one OP as it sounds like even if you asked him politely he'd probably end up causing a problem over it.

Could try striking up a conversation with him though, not judge the book and see if he is as much of a moron as you think. Although from what you described it's likely he is.

[MX5_Nuts]

This sounds proppa council dunnit.

[robbocop33]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

That's the way 'my' mind works,misses not so much,it just seems to be my garden?

[grumbledoak]

Revolting.

If you don't fancy the fight he clearly wants, it's earn more and move for you.

[Leicester Loyal]

Go round and have a word with him.

[Hoofy]

You could just have a chat next time you're in the garden. I don't mean about spitting but welcome him and his family to the area, ask about where he was before etc, take interest, sound like a nice guy, even invite him in for a cuppa, he'll probably think you're friendly and then choose to spit in someone else's garden.

[V40TC]

Or scope out your house to rob it?
any strange chalk marks appeared on th epavement outside your house?

or got and collect the Dog waste bin from park (awful but needs must)
empty it in his garden.
or
fling dog pop at him as he strolls by,
dirty fugger.

Edited by V40TC on Sunday 26th March 13:01

[Oldandslow]

Alternatively wait for the next time he's passing and stand at the front window naked from the waist down. Stand there stroking your knob and winking suggestively.

Guaranteed he'll use the other side of the street from then on.

[bloomen]

Put up a sheet of perspex around your garden.

[valiant]

Typical PH answer number 756:

"Work harder and move to a nicer area."

[johnxjsc1985]

leave him a bottle of cough mixture on his door step

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

valiant said:

Typical PH answer number 756:

"Work harder and move to a nicer area."

With the words neighbour flem guard in big letters on it. Hopefully may be enough to embarrass him. Or, it may want him want to kick your head in. Sounds like an ahole.