Broaching the subject of her weight gain

Broaching the subject of her weight gain

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Discussion

james_tigerwoods

16,299 posts

199 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Spare tyre said:
Write a letter from the council describing how to apply for new postcodes for her arse extension that looks like it's underway
When she walks backwards say "beep beep beep" smile

DannyScene

6,683 posts

157 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
If she asks if her bum looks big in this 100% do not answer 'hang on love let me get back far enough to get it all in view'

She won't like that

Zod

35,295 posts

260 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Buy some planks, push back the sofa and nail them to the floor under her seat. Trim to size and use the offcuts to screw to the seat, back and legs of her dining chair.

LotusMartin

1,113 posts

154 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
When she asks - "Does this skirt make my bum look big?"

The response better not be - "Big, or Bigger?"

.
.
.
Yes - it stung..


Silverbullet767

10,744 posts

208 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Take a leaf from Al Bundy in Married with Children, when he was arguing with a fat woman in the shoe shop he called her fat when she had her back to her. She turned around and said 'why don't you say that to my face' He replies 'I would have, but my car only had half a tank of gas'

It could work.

Spare tyre

9,771 posts

132 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all


LotusMartin said:
When she asks - "Does this skirt make my bum look big?"

The response better not be - "Big, or Bigger?"

.
.
.
Yes - it stung..

Or just say your bum is big, nothing to do with the skirt

james_tigerwoods

16,299 posts

199 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
My ex wife tried a dress on in River Island - My opinion? "It makes your hips look big". The words just slipped out of my mouth before my brain could stop me.

There was stunned silence from the (many) women there and some snickering from the men.

She bought the dress anyway.

dudleybloke

20,058 posts

188 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Start calling sex "harpooning" or "slapping the belly and riding the waves".

james_tigerwoods

16,299 posts

199 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
If she asks "does this make my bum look big" - Answer "no, it's the pies and buns that do" smile

Matt_N

8,906 posts

204 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Next time she's in the mood and suggests you both head upstairs for an 'early' night, answer "be there in a minute dear, I just need to grab a bag of flour".

boxst

3,754 posts

147 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Matt_N said:
Next time she's in the mood and suggests you both head upstairs for an 'early' night, answer "be there in a minute dear, I just need to grab a bag of flour".
Ewwww... that took me a while to work out!

Hoofy

76,687 posts

284 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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Du1point8 said:
swim several Km along with weights.
Christ, you can hold your breath a long time!

Axionknight

8,505 posts

137 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Feed her up to be a right porker, crushing her self esteem and self worth.

Then leave, take everything.

Hoofy

76,687 posts

284 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Axionknight said:
Feed her up to be a right porker, crushing her self esteem and self worth.

Then leave, take everything.
Apart from the reinforced bed and toilet.

mcelliott

8,745 posts

183 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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Ask her if she's ever considered moving to a hot country to sell shade.

General Price

5,294 posts

185 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Tell her you just watched The Goonies and say,last time we watched that you couldn't do the truffle shuffle.

I bet you can now.biggrin

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

181 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
I've trotted this one out before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_uHg7qx95I

Hard-Drive

4,106 posts

231 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Go and get her favourite jeans and a stitch unpicker and strategically weaken the stitching around the arse seam. Wait until she next has them on, and ask for a hand unloading the dishwasher.

Axionknight

8,505 posts

137 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
Hoofy said:
Apart from the reinforced bed and toilet.
rofl

What about the fridge?

CountZero23

1,288 posts

180 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
quotequote all
RobinBanks said:
I've trotted this one out before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_uHg7qx95I
hehe