Juvenile things that make you snigger (Vol. 3)

[Huff]

Error_404_Username_not_found said:

Mrs 404 sent me to buy celeriac about a month ago. So I got it and she cooked it.
Never again.
I can still smell the wretched stuff in the kitchen.

The mistake is to cook it; just grate some & add a little lemon juice & mayo.

= amazing alternative to coleslaw!

[Magnum 475]

Johnspex said:

simon_harris said:

Sticks. said:

Was just thinking that, about whelks in particular.

or Oysters

Or eggs.

Yup! Someone thought, “something just fell out of that chicken’s arse. It might taste good, I’ll eat it!”

[konark]

jimmytheone said:

Lana's dad?

[motco]

konark said:

jimmytheone said:

Lana's dad?

Bet he smokes Strands

[simplygod]

motco said:

Imagine the scene: Two yokels leaning on a gate to a beef herd field and one says to the other "See that big brown animal over there, the one with no horns but a big fat bag of pink flesh hanging down under it just down from its ahole?"
"Yep" says the second yokel.
"well" says the first, "I'm going to go over to it and yank on those pink finger looking things underneath, and if anything comes out, I'm going to drink it!"
"What a good idea!" says yokel number two, I can hardly wait to hear what it's like" and he creeps away not wanting to see his mate make a fool of himself...

I should imagine they saw young calves drinking from their mother and were intrigued that way.

[paua]

Magnum 475 said:

Johnspex said:

simon_harris said:

Sticks. said:

Was just thinking that, about whelks in particular.

or Oysters

Or eggs.

Yup! Someone thought, “something just fell out of that chicken’s arse. It might taste good, I’ll eat it!”

Eating fresh oysters is akin to having ( nubile, young) angels fornicating upon one's tongue - there's nought finer.

[deckster]

paua said:

Eating fresh oysters is akin to having ( nubile, young) angels fornicating upon one's tongue - there's nought finer.

A bit slimy, a bit salty, a bit fishy?

I see where you're coming from

[Sticks.]

There was an old joke about a chap having half a dozen oysters on his wedding night for his libido, but complained that only three of them worked.

[Stealthracer]

[ChemicalChaos]

[motco]

simplygod said:

motco said:

Imagine the scene: Two yokels leaning on a gate to a beef herd field and one says to the other "See that big brown animal over there, the one with no horns but a big fat bag of pink flesh hanging down under it just down from its ahole?"
"Yep" says the second yokel.
"well" says the first, "I'm going to go over to it and yank on those pink finger looking things underneath, and if anything comes out, I'm going to drink it!"
"What a good idea!" says yokel number two, I can hardly wait to hear what it's like" and he creeps away not wanting to see his mate make a fool of himself...

I should imagine they saw young calves drinking from their mother and were intrigued that way.

They will also have seen a bull 'servicing' a cow but that doesn't drive them to emulate it, does it?

[simplygod]

motco said:

simplygod said:

motco said:

Imagine the scene: Two yokels leaning on a gate to a beef herd field and one says to the other "See that big brown animal over there, the one with no horns but a big fat bag of pink flesh hanging down under it just down from its ahole?"
"Yep" says the second yokel.
"well" says the first, "I'm going to go over to it and yank on those pink finger looking things underneath, and if anything comes out, I'm going to drink it!"
"What a good idea!" says yokel number two, I can hardly wait to hear what it's like" and he creeps away not wanting to see his mate make a fool of himself...

I should imagine they saw young calves drinking from their mother and were intrigued that way.

They will also have seen a bull 'servicing' a cow but that doesn't drive them to emulate it, does it?

Probably

[eldar]

Crook said:

Composer62 said:

simon_harris said:

Ultra Sound Guy said:

Please say it’s not just me!

reminds me of the Koala bear joke - Eats shoots and leaves.

When I heard it, it was a panda

I heard it was a gorilla and it was "Eats, roots, shoots and leaves"

It was on the T-shirt of a life-sized stuffed toy that was a mascot of some local's flying club or some-such in the 80s.

Lynn Truss book of 2003. Had a picture of a panda on the cover.

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5571.Lynne_T...

[Barnsie]

Johnspex said:

Or eggs.

A hen's period.

[Barnsie]

Magnum 475 said:

Yup! Someone thought, “something just fell out of that chicken’s arse. It might taste good, I’ll eat it!”

Er... well yeah, if the egg came out of the hen's arse, it wouldn't be an egg!

[Barnsie]

motco said:

They will also have seen a bull 'servicing' a cow but that doesn't drive them to emulate it, does it?

It does in Lincolnshire

[MartG]

Barnsie said:

Magnum 475 said:

Yup! Someone thought, “something just fell out of that chicken’s arse. It might taste good, I’ll eat it!”

Er... well yeah, if the egg came out of the hen's arse, it wouldn't be an egg!

Umm...technically it would be. A hen has a single orifice called a cloaca used for both excretion and egg laying

[RemarkLima]

MartG said:

Barnsie said:

Magnum 475 said:

Yup! Someone thought, “something just fell out of that chicken’s arse. It might taste good, I’ll eat it!”

Er... well yeah, if the egg came out of the hen's arse, it wouldn't be an egg!

Umm...technically it would be. A hen has a single orifice called a cloaca used for both excretion and egg laying

And wee wee right?

[MartG]

[Kowalski655]

simplygod said:

I should imagine they saw young calves drinking from their mother and were intrigued that way.

Baby baboons also suckle their mum but I don't see many volunteers to suck a lady baboon's tits!