PH Secret Santa 2020 - The Santae, lockdown edition

[Captain Raymond Holt]

It had been noted that I didn’t give a sense of scale...

Here’s a mug

[Captain Raymond Holt]

Retro_Jim

You should be receiving a package any day now. This can be opened and enjoyed. In company. Or not.

Troubleatmill

Hermes have your 30” replica whale shlong as requested in your preferences. Should be with you in the next day or two. Enjoy!

Santa xxxx

[Captain Raymond Holt]

XJSJohn said:

andburg said:

My god cap! What do you have, a chihuahua?

looks bigger than a chihuahua, maybe a small spaniel, or a terrier?

Pretty much that
it’ll take him some time to devour!

[Captain Raymond Holt]

miniman said:

Edited by miniman on Thursday 26th November 10:03

Not scrimping on the Capsaicin paste are they

[Captain Raymond Holt]

We we are spoilt.

Gifts for the wife and the child arrived today, I appreciate the correctness of his rank being below mine too




Christ knows what the Amazon man thinks...

[Captain Raymond Holt]

TROC

Santa just wants to make sure the initial Christmas card has arrived - your festive package is about ready to despatch, but no opening before the 25th!!

[Captain Raymond Holt]

alorotom said:

Captain Raymond Holt said:

We we are spoilt.

Gifts for the wife and the child arrived today, I appreciate the correctness of his rank being below mine too




Christ knows what the Amazon man thinks...

Id be more concerned what the wife gift is ... once stretched never to return ...

Peeling off one of the stickers revealed this...



Hefty.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

vixen1700

Your box is in the post. it should land on Friday or Saturday.

The jars of highly volatile bum lube can be opened anytime but they will need to be refrigerated once opened, the gift wrapped one can wait until the 25th.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

Eltax91

Santa has interrogated his lead elf regarding the status of your package, and is pleased to inform you that, if the sled tracker is to be believed, it is currently heading round the M25 towards you.

The outside packaging should make it fairly clear that it is intended for you.

Santa

Bertie Wooster

Santa has posted your present by air mail and it should be with you in around 6 working days according to the local PO.




Bertie - your SS has also had to remortgage for postage

[Captain Raymond Holt]

DRFC1879 said:

He's Been!!

There are intriguing rattles and clunks going on with this too...



EDITED: to remove Sender's number & Postcode.

Edited by DRFC1879 on Friday 27th November 15:29

Apologies, I had a message yesterday to say RM had tried to deliver it, but I was busy tossing it off at work

[Captain Raymond Holt]

The Rotrex Kid said:

Troubleatmill said:

Bear-n said:

Very dark, Santa. Love it though

Brilliant.
Although - Is there a movie reference or something else to this that I am missing?

Looks like the same card has been used on PHSS before!

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

I wonder who did that

[Captain Raymond Holt]

GOG440

Dear GOG440

By any chance does your wife work for an organisation that has 'work' in its name?

XJS John

Your package is going out this week, so when it arrives you can unwrap/unbox it, as your gifts are Christmas wrapped inside.

Santa

[Captain Raymond Holt]

bristolbaron


Your pressies have been sent via Royal Mail... ignore the pretentious outer box, which helpfully has distinct PH markings. Inside are four wrapped gifts for you, Mrs Baron and the two mini Barons.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

W1bbles


There is a little something on its way to your house now. It has a very long journey so I have packaged it extra carefully so as not to cause any damage to the contents. Please exercise caution when opening though, we wouldn’t want any bloodshed through improper use of tools.

You can open it up whenever it gets to you, this is but an amuse-bouche before the final prezzie is moulded, plasti-coated and sanitised.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

st3ven1 said:

After draining the milk:

I approve of the hammer and screwdriver approach

[Captain Raymond Holt]

Glade


Hopefully you enjoy your stroopwafels. The two amazon packages you receive are your present. Apologies for no terrible wrapping. Hopefully you don't find them too crap.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

thundercolo


INCOMING!

Thankfully to Spain. There was a brief panic when your SS told me it was on the way to America

[Captain Raymond Holt]

Eltax91

Santa is pleased your gift has arrived safely. Everything inside has been individually wrapped, so you are good to open the main package.

[Captain Raymond Holt]

thetapeworm


The elves driving the van for the internet delivery people have delayed santa's jumbotron 3000 order, something about it being too large for his postage slot. Santa has been assured it will be here soon, at which point it'll be dipped in chilli, rewrapped and sent.

THis delay has given santa more research time and santa wishes he still worked for the makers of Admin Studio, since he might have actually made some commission for once had he got friendly with you.

Take care for now and watch for an imminent arrival. Santa will get the captain to let you know when it's actually posted



Cheers for the formatting

[Captain Raymond Holt]

This is the kind of st I came here to see!