Girls/women writing kisses in cards

[Matt UK]

Marvtec said:

Go round late at night and say " I really want to get to know you... "

Never fails.

very much this.
That thread was a classic!

[Dr Doofenshmirtz]

Ha! - all the nay-sayers take note!! He's obviously in...what have you got to say to say now, eigh?

[Fastchas]

Does the vacuum cleaner work...?

[Dr Murdoch]

How do you know 'she' left it?

[TC8]

Dr Murdoch said:

How do you know 'she' left it?

There was an "x" on it in green crayon.

[supercommuter]

The Mad Monk said:

I think I agree with you. She has probably overdosed on your emoticons.

hahaha this amused me.

[glenrobbo]

Fastchas said:

Does the vacuum cleaner work...?

Do you want to call round and try it out?

[glenrobbo]

On second thoughts OP, instead of a vibrator, you could leave a witch's broom on her doormat. It is getting close to Halloween you know.
It would enable you to tell whether she does have a sense of humour.

[Guvernator]

Nah you don't want any half measures, women like a man who is fully committed so you need to go all in.

Take some pics of you using the hoover as a sex toy then post them through her letterbox with a small note saying "Thanks for lending me your hoover, perhaps next time we can hoover together? XX"

I reckon that should do the trick.

[Blown2CV]

not read all of it but OP I presume you've had your loser-y expectations suitably managed?

[Pickled]

Isn't this a re-make of the old, long running, Nescafe Gold Blend ad?

[Puggit]

I suspect the hoover is a direct way of saying 'hurry up and clean up so I can come over for a shag'

[glenrobbo]

Or "You're gonna need this hoover coz I'm gonna really mess up your life!"?

[Fastchas]

Puggit said:

I suspect the hoover is a direct way of saying 'hurry up and clean up so I can come over for a shag'

I agree...'Sort that bedroom out!'

[anonymous-user]

op needs to just go round and say,' I REALLY like you.'

OP when i girl looks at you and smiles, do you fall in love with her?

[wolfracesonic]

What make was the vacuum cleaner? Anything other than Sebo, Miele or at a push Dyson, bin her. Your a PH'er Op, you shouldn't have to associate with someone who uses anything less, skanky peasants!

[Faust66]

OP, you need to pick up on the subtle signals she's sending you using domestic vacuuming cleaning devices:

Dyson: I'm a posh bird (we all know they're dirty)

Hoover: I'm straight

Vax: this thing has powerful suction… take the hint

Henry: are you bi 'cos I've got a male friend who likes the look of you… fancy a threesome?

Not forgetting the wild card:

Karcher pressure washer: I'm very, very dirty

[Andy_mr2sc]

Pickled said:

Isn't this a re-make of the old, long running, Nescafe Gold Blend ad?

Haha you think there's a case of the Gareth Hunt hand shake going on?

[Ari]

All that jazz said:

I've just got home from Norwich to discover she's left a vacuum cleaner on my doormat . No communication about it, it's just there.

If there's no communication, how could you possibly know it's from her?

I'm all for these made up stories on PH, but they do need to at least be vaguely believable.

[Blown2CV]

this woman put one of those charity collection bags through my letterbox today. Honestly I am beating them off with a stty stick.