If PistonHeads was a hotel...
Discussion
Any newcomer having just arrived and asking a simple question at the reception desk, e.g. what time does breakfast start, will be told loudly by a regular guest, that this qiestion was last asked only 30 minutes previously and to look up the information in the hotel guide in his room.
Searching said hotel guide, either the guide and/or information would not be present, or would be outdated, e.g. from 6 years previously.
Searching said hotel guide, either the guide and/or information would not be present, or would be outdated, e.g. from 6 years previously.
SantaBarbara said:
How many Michelin stars would its Restaurant have been awarded?
Michelin stars? None. Yokohama stars? Many.The F1/TopGear/Grand Tour themed bar would full of those who complain that it's not like bars used to be and that it's dull and lacking atmosphere, vowing never to return. Then return the following evening and complain about the same things. And then the evening after that.
Another guest in the bar would start an argument with you over nothing. Then their pals would join them, and they'd all slap each others backs over how right they were.
Then you'd agree that they must be right, simply to extract yourself from a conversation that's going nowhere. You'd go your separate ways, only to bump into the argumentative sod on the first floor landing with the same argument disguised as something new. And then the same on the second floor landing, the third floor landing, etc. Every time the lift doors opened, the nutter would be there, having sprinted up the stairs to meet you.
If you got lucky and managed to skip a floor and get to your room, you can rest assured that when you left to check out, he'd "coincidentally" be passing your room as you opened the door, despite being accommodated three floors down.
If you ignored him, then you can be certain that his parting shot would be "well your opinion doesn't count anyway, because you only drive a..." before he left to dominate the breakfast buffet and 'pop his cuff' at the receptionist to show off his massiveego wristwatch...
...meanwhile, in the pool changing room there'd be an apparently sane adult holding up a selection of brand new shirts asking anyone who'd listen which one he should wear to make an impression for his dinner date, only for there to be no sign of them in the restaurant that evening because he's out eating a take-out alone in McDonalds' car park wearing an owners' club branded zip-up nylon jacket that didn't match his car.
Then you'd agree that they must be right, simply to extract yourself from a conversation that's going nowhere. You'd go your separate ways, only to bump into the argumentative sod on the first floor landing with the same argument disguised as something new. And then the same on the second floor landing, the third floor landing, etc. Every time the lift doors opened, the nutter would be there, having sprinted up the stairs to meet you.
If you got lucky and managed to skip a floor and get to your room, you can rest assured that when you left to check out, he'd "coincidentally" be passing your room as you opened the door, despite being accommodated three floors down.
If you ignored him, then you can be certain that his parting shot would be "well your opinion doesn't count anyway, because you only drive a..." before he left to dominate the breakfast buffet and 'pop his cuff' at the receptionist to show off his massive
...meanwhile, in the pool changing room there'd be an apparently sane adult holding up a selection of brand new shirts asking anyone who'd listen which one he should wear to make an impression for his dinner date, only for there to be no sign of them in the restaurant that evening because he's out eating a take-out alone in McDonalds' car park wearing an owners' club branded zip-up nylon jacket that didn't match his car.
Edited by yellowjack on Wednesday 25th October 13:29
mike80 said:
Instead of a Bible there would be one of these in each room. https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B002RI9PPY/ref=mp...
and a copy of this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Advanced-Performance-Driv...There would be a constant round of arguments where guest A misunderstood something from guest B, either accidentally or in some cases deliberately. Despite guest B clarifying precisely what they did say, guest A would continue to misrepresent the situation, departing from the truth increasingly and with increasing frequency. Finally guest B would lose their patience, call guest A a bad name and tell them to "eff off." The management would then throw guest B out and A would then be all smug that they had been proven correct.
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