Modern toilets cannot cope
Discussion
The high level (head height) old fashioned cistern ones are always the best at flushing.
Maximum water (capacity) and maximum head (pressure) means even the biggest deposit is is like a kids beach sand castle as a Tsunami approaches, and is swept away in a gurgling and frothing maelstrom reminiscent of a 'Perfect Storm'.
If it's a real corker and attempts to block the bend like a wad in a gun barrel, the water building up behind it rises up the pan inexorably until the overwhelming forces of nature and physics force it through to it's destiny with the sludge macerator at the sewage works.
Maximum water (capacity) and maximum head (pressure) means even the biggest deposit is is like a kids beach sand castle as a Tsunami approaches, and is swept away in a gurgling and frothing maelstrom reminiscent of a 'Perfect Storm'.
If it's a real corker and attempts to block the bend like a wad in a gun barrel, the water building up behind it rises up the pan inexorably until the overwhelming forces of nature and physics force it through to it's destiny with the sludge macerator at the sewage works.
Would a new loo's warranty be voided if you fitted a remote second, larger cistern to overcome the dribble which passes these days for a flush?
No matter how many flushes (n+1) I find that most modern loos can cope with my s
t unless its a floater - then it's a bugger to get rid of 
I'm surprised what with the amount of flushing going on, scenes like this aren't becoming a common sight:
No matter how many flushes (n+1) I find that most modern loos can cope with my s
t unless its a floater - then it's a bugger to get rid of I'm surprised what with the amount of flushing going on, scenes like this aren't becoming a common sight:
AppleJuice said:
Would a new loo's warranty be voided if you fitted a remote second, larger cistern to overcome the dribble which passes these days for a flush?
No matter how many flushes (n+1) I find that most modern loos can cope with my st unless its a floater - then it's a bugger to get rid of
I'm surprised what with the amount of flushing going on, scenes like this aren't becoming a common sight:
Ahh, Father Ted. Which reminds me, modern flush systems no longer reward giving the lever an extra hard flush. They're basically digital in their operation. Used to be some satisfaction to be had from taking a deep breath, rocking back and forward a bit like a bobsleigh team and then giving the flush handle everything you've got. No matter how many flushes (n+1) I find that most modern loos can cope with my s
t unless its a floater - then it's a bugger to get rid of I'm surprised what with the amount of flushing going on, scenes like this aren't becoming a common sight:
Lucas CAV said:
What on earth do some of you eat?
My thoughts exactly. I have never blocked a toilet once and can’t ever remember having to flush (even on eco flush) more than twice and that’s only after brushing to make the water nice and clean again! Think some on here need to adjust their diet somewhat!
colin_p said:
Swanny87 said:
Don't forget you'll glue nice shiny blue passports as well!
I've never given any thought to eating a passport.Up and down the land, any self respecting Brexit voting Alpha will at the first opportunity be wiping their arse with the old maroon ones though.
[edit] Talking of which, areoplane toilets. Do it right and you will quickly find yourself Dominating a 747.
Edited by colin_p on Thursday 15th March 13:00
The company I work for does aircraft cleaning. Part of that involves cleaning out the toilets, for which we have tanker trucks much like those which clear out cesspits.
However, some people like to think its a good idea to claim asylum on entry to the UK and dispose of their legitimate passport from a country that isn't due asylum sanctions, by throwing it down the toilet on the aircraft in little torn up pieces.
UK Border Force may then request evidence of them doing this, which requires our tanker truck be emptied out over a special sluiced grating.
DO NOT under any circumstances get close enough to smell this, as in, within about a mile
AppleJuice said:
And as someone has mentioned above - why do women have to use so much bog roll? One or at most two sheets at a time is perfectly adequate for each wipe of the arse even after the worst dump, so why do they seemingly use ten sheets for even the slightest thing?
DaveGoddard said:
Best. Smiley. Ever.
And as someone has mentioned above - why do women have to use so much bog roll? One or at most two sheets at a time is perfectly adequate for each wipe of the arse even after the worst dump, so why do they seemingly use ten sheets for even the slightest thing?
Women weeing is a messy business...And as someone has mentioned above - why do women have to use so much bog roll? One or at most two sheets at a time is perfectly adequate for each wipe of the arse even after the worst dump, so why do they seemingly use ten sheets for even the slightest thing?
davhill said:
Rawwr said:
You missed a subsection:
8a. If you yourself are enjoying a particularly girthy loaf and you hear someone rattle off a horse-choking fart in one of the other cubicles, be sure to acknowledge and confirm your alpha status on termination of their gas by shouting; "I'll name that tune in one."
8a. If you yourself are enjoying a particularly girthy loaf and you hear someone rattle off a horse-choking fart in one of the other cubicles, be sure to acknowledge and confirm your alpha status on termination of their gas by shouting; "I'll name that tune in one."
DaveGoddard said:
One or at most two sheets at a time is perfectly adequate for each wipe of the arse even after the worst dump, so why do they seemingly use ten sheets for even the slightest thing?
Minimum of three sheets to be safe. Don't want an appearance of the brown headed ballerina now do we.alorotom said:
Lucas CAV said:
What on earth do some of you eat?
My thoughts exactly. I have never blocked a toilet once and can’t ever remember having to flush (even on eco flush) more than twice and that’s only after brushing to make the water nice and clean again! Think some on here need to adjust their diet somewhat!
Even after I've demolished half a fat bd bucket of KFC and suffering from the "Colonel's Revenge" the next morning, our relatively modern flush does the jobDaveGoddard said:
And as someone has mentioned above - why do women have to use so much bog roll? One or at most two sheets at a time is perfectly adequate for each wipe of the arse even after the worst dump, so why do they seemingly use ten sheets for even the slightest thing?
Agreed, ours has only been blocked when one of our nieces (or sometimes the Mrs) decides to use half a mile of bog roll... 
5pen said:
I dropped one the other day and one end was touching the water before I'd crimped off at the other. Not that unusual it seems going by this thread. How many of you were sitting on the 5m diving board at the local pool though?
American bogs are best for this. The reduced arse/water distance allows for impressive Cumberland sausage type creations. colin_p said:
I think Women must wrap half a bog roll round their hands like a boxing glove and then punch themselves in the growler each time they have a wee?
Interesting as growler in this context could have one of two meanings:- https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gr...TimeForAZafira said:
colin_p said:
I think Women must wrap half a bog roll round their hands like a boxing glove and then punch themselves in the growler each time they have a wee?
Interesting as growler in this context could have one of two meanings:- https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Gr...I never knew that. Every day is a school day.
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