Just the punchlines please

[stuttgartmetal]

Ill have a meat pie, but wash your hands first.

[celticpilgrim]

'cos eveery time I f**k your wife, she gives me a biscuit
(not strictly a joke per se, but still makes me laugh)

I bet she's bever seen a Hippopotamus in the flesh, never mind hear it fart under water!!!

'dark in her, innit'!!

50p

[MiniLiz]

Because if they were smooth, white and round they'd be aspirins.

[The Hypno-Toad]

And the masochist says "Meow"

[marshalla]

Then he pulled it off the wall, put it between two slices of toast and ate it!

[ol]

"Dr Who?"

[Strangely Brown]

... well of course I mean both, what good is fookin' one?

[daveco]

So I said, buddy; your car was up side down when we got here, and as for your granny she shouldn't have mouthed off like that

[convert]

My daddy says that if you've got one of these, you can have one of those anytime you like.

[Sgt Bilko]

"...so I gave her one!"

[stuttgartmetal]

Every time I kick him in the nuts, he makes a bolt for the door.

[BigBazza]

You're Thor? It even hurts when I pith!

[JonRB]

"He was still breathing until I turned his head round the right way"

[rolty]

"I'm Tonto Goldstein"

[Rollin]

"It wasn't the tablets doc. All that skipping caused a heart attack!"

[71notout]

I can't understand it, Paddy made his own sandwiches!

[garycat]

So I just swapped the heads.


Yes but she was a good wife to me.


You fool! you had it inside out.


If I knew they did that, I'd have charged you double.

[Piersman2]

... a microwave doesn't brown your meat!

... a fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out!

... because not many mice can dance!

... because we Arrrgghhhhhh!

[Strangely Brown]

... and if she finds her way back home, don't fk her!

[Sciroccology]

"You've got a whiskey called Trevor?"