Went ballistic at my OH browsing my facebook
Discussion
Raeburn said:
BBS-LM said:
Raeburn said:
Taking her phone off her is very mature. Your are lucky you are not getting it removed by A&E right now as that's what she should have done.
My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
hahahahahaha
What is she, 13. years of age. To funny.
Silly boy indeed.
to be fair you have put infomration out into the public domain and then get shirty when it is read?!?!
messages on a mobile phone are an entirely different matter as the phone is someones personal belongings but facebook is availible to anyone if you give tehm access to your information by being their "friend" or whatever it is that means they can view your information.
anyone, the fact is, you put information on a public webiste and are now geting the hump because it was read regardless of whether intended for the message was for the person who read it or not, its like this message, anyone can read it, its my thoughts etc so i cant get annoyed if its read by someone who takes annoyance at it even if they are not the intended recipient...
if you want to discuss things in private, dont use a public website....
messages on a mobile phone are an entirely different matter as the phone is someones personal belongings but facebook is availible to anyone if you give tehm access to your information by being their "friend" or whatever it is that means they can view your information.
anyone, the fact is, you put information on a public webiste and are now geting the hump because it was read regardless of whether intended for the message was for the person who read it or not, its like this message, anyone can read it, its my thoughts etc so i cant get annoyed if its read by someone who takes annoyance at it even if they are not the intended recipient...
if you want to discuss things in private, dont use a public website....
DJC said:
GT 1 said:
It isn't a matter of trust, women are nosey.....fact!
The first sensible post on the thread.She was being a woman, she was being nosey. They do that. OP...grow up.
My wife does not not go through my phone or email. I do not go through hers. I would, of course, have no compunction in ASKING her to go through my emails for me to find something because I have nothing to hide.
That sort of invasion of privacy in utterly unacceptable.
My ex used to check my emails and Facebook, if i changed my password she'd demand to know why. I wasn't arsed about the facebook thing, at that time it was just full of family, a few far away friends and some tts from school.
On the other hand, my emails are rather private, one of the emails she read was from my best friend, discussing our salaries, and a few more personal things from him. And also a few mild drug references. She was very anti smoking, and very anti canabis.
When she rang me about it she was trying to coax me into saying it without dropping herself in it, as she'd obviously realised there was alot in the email she shouldnt of seen. I came clean about having the occasional spliff, but her lack of trust towards me spelt the end of our relationship. IMO, the op should sit his other half down and thrash it out, it'll never work with no trust!
On the other hand, my emails are rather private, one of the emails she read was from my best friend, discussing our salaries, and a few more personal things from him. And also a few mild drug references. She was very anti smoking, and very anti canabis.
When she rang me about it she was trying to coax me into saying it without dropping herself in it, as she'd obviously realised there was alot in the email she shouldnt of seen. I came clean about having the occasional spliff, but her lack of trust towards me spelt the end of our relationship. IMO, the op should sit his other half down and thrash it out, it'll never work with no trust!
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
You are obviously confused about who is in charge....worldwide. They have half the money and all the pu$$y.There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
M400 NBL said:
Well i have seen plenty of mates join facebook and close their accounts simply because they've cheated (a lot) and girls have tracked them down. OP, has she got any reason not to trust you? Have you emailed any females that you only know through facebook? How would you feel if she had messages from men you don't know? I'm not judging you because i don't know you, but if you have nothing to hide, let her find out for herself. Unless of course someone has asked you specifically to keep it a secret (and you aren't slipping that person a length)
I have a couple of girls on there that she does not know well (but has actually been introduced to)she has a lot of friends male and female that I never heard of.
If she wants to introduce them to me, fine if not then whatever.
I have a few good looking female friends that I would have had a chance with should I have tried. Sounds narcissistic i know, but then her being an absolute stunner, she has a good chance with any straight bloke on the planet. I am not automatically suspicious of her male friends and know that a fair few of them are single and would have no issues slipping her one, should she allow that to happen.
I am of the opipnion that paranoia will destroy you, and if you are looking for something, you will eventually find it. In fact if you are REALLY looking for something you will find it even if it's not there...
isee said:
Raeburn said:
BBS-LM said:
Raeburn said:
Taking her phone off her is very mature. Your are lucky you are not getting it removed by A&E right now as that's what she should have done.
My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
hahahahahaha
What is she, 13. years of age. To funny.
Silly boy indeed.
You would be complaining if she found out your FB account password.... however she's free to go into your online banking.
HHHmmmm step back and have a wee think about that will you
Nothing to hide my arse
Raeburn said:
isee said:
Raeburn said:
BBS-LM said:
Raeburn said:
Taking her phone off her is very mature. Your are lucky you are not getting it removed by A&E right now as that's what she should have done.
My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.My O/H can check my emails browse my messages whenever they so wish, it would not bother me in the slightest but then again I hide nothing in my relationship. You kicking off suggests you have something to hide.
hahahahahaha
What is she, 13. years of age. To funny.
Silly boy indeed.
You would be complaining if she found out your FB account password.... however she's free to go into your online banking.
HHHmmmm step back and have a wee think about that will you
Nothing to hide my arse
I may take the more sensible people's advice here and offer her to go through the messages if she is so curious and ask her why she is so presistent in keeping my messages and letters screened, provided she is talking to me today.
Jimbeaux said:
isee said:
Caught my mrs browsing my facebook on the iphone, reading the messages from my female friends etc.
There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
No idea how to use smileys on this forum but [a massive grin and applause to you sir]There was nothing incriminating on there but that really pissed me off in principle.
I confiscated the phone and told her in strong language that what she did is just not on.
To make a long story short she is now upset with ME and is not talking to me unless she has to...
WTF!?
Have I overreacted?
I suppose I made myself look guilty in her eyes by reacting so strongly. I have nothing to hide but it doesn't mean it's ok to read my personal inbox. I never read her messages whenever she leaves her mailbox open on my pc. I never browse through her text messages on her phone either.
I do believe that if you are looking for something you will find it eventually though...
It pisses me off that rather than apologising I am the guilty one now. Not sure how that works but if she keeps that up I am tempted to throw in the towel.
You are obviously confused about who is in charge....worldwide. They have half the money and all the pu$$y.
Edited by isee on Wednesday 1st April 16:49
DJC said:
GT 1 said:
It isn't a matter of trust, women are nosey.....fact!
The first sensible post on the thread.She was being a woman, she was being nosey. They do that. OP...grow up.
You need personal space in any relationship. My boyfriend and I have told each other our passwords and pins but they rolled off both our backs because we don't need to know them. I leave emails and facebook open on my computer all the time and step away, but he has no reason to snoop.
In a nutshell, married or not, she shouldn't have invaded your only realm of personal space. If she has doubts or questions about something, she should just ask you, and you should be willing to listen to her concerns.
I believe you had every right to get upset, but you should explain to her that you felt it was violating of her not to trust you and help herself to the probably only personal thing you have left. There's nothing wrong with keeping a little sense of identity to yourself.
I am married. I would be EXTREMELY pissed off if my wife was snooping through my stuff like that, regardless of whether it is public domain. If she wants to know anything about me she only has to ask !
BUT, I wouldn't show her how pissed off I was, that would lead to me inadvertently feeling and acting guilty, then she would be thinking that, although she found nothing, if she had looked, say, last week, she might have. Or she'll have a look next week etc....
So I would say yes you overreacted, but it really shouldn't be the death knell.
But remember, IMHO, that you can never, ever act like you have something to hide. Next thing she'll be looking through all the cubby holes in your car, house etc for anything incriminating.
Bloody women, can't live with them, can't shoot them
BUT, I wouldn't show her how pissed off I was, that would lead to me inadvertently feeling and acting guilty, then she would be thinking that, although she found nothing, if she had looked, say, last week, she might have. Or she'll have a look next week etc....
So I would say yes you overreacted, but it really shouldn't be the death knell.
But remember, IMHO, that you can never, ever act like you have something to hide. Next thing she'll be looking through all the cubby holes in your car, house etc for anything incriminating.
Bloody women, can't live with them, can't shoot them
I'm with the OP on this, its bang out of order, and it doesn't matter if he has anything to hide or not, there is a certain amount of trust in a relationship, and checking e-mails, texts, facebook etc is just not on, its got nothing to do with them.
Have had a recent argument with my missus(now ex missus), where she guessed my Hotmail password and started reading my e-mails, her reason was that she suspected me of cheating, she then found out i wasn't cheating and it was a completely innocent and friendly conversation i was having with a woman i'm friends with. I dumped the beehatch! sod that for a laugh, there's paranoid, and then being crazy, and she was definately crazy!
Have had a recent argument with my missus(now ex missus), where she guessed my Hotmail password and started reading my e-mails, her reason was that she suspected me of cheating, she then found out i wasn't cheating and it was a completely innocent and friendly conversation i was having with a woman i'm friends with. I dumped the beehatch! sod that for a laugh, there's paranoid, and then being crazy, and she was definately crazy!
I have a few girlfriends that find out their current/ex boyfriend's passwords and read their emails and messages all the time and I find it disgusting. Then they get all mad at the men for the stupidest things when they had no right of knowing the information in the first place. BUT - it goes both ways. I have an ex that would go thru EVERYTHING every chance he got, read over my shoulder, drill my friends, go thru drawers, my mail, etc. Course he was bipolar, but he was also cheating on me, so assumed I was doing the same to him (I wasn't). Regardless, made me feel very negatively towards him and was one of the falls of the relationship because he wouldn't listen to reason for my explanations of the results of his actions.
Go thru some msgs with the missus and let her see there's no reason for jealousy or concern. Sometimes a woman just doesn't want to feel she's sharing her man's love and attention with another woman, friend or not. Wants to know she's the #1 priority over any other woman in your life, so make her feel it and then she'll relax.
Go thru some msgs with the missus and let her see there's no reason for jealousy or concern. Sometimes a woman just doesn't want to feel she's sharing her man's love and attention with another woman, friend or not. Wants to know she's the #1 priority over any other woman in your life, so make her feel it and then she'll relax.
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