Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
pincher said:
Joey Ramone said:
You all appear to have married f
king psychos.
Does appear that way - I must be in a tiny minority - I was with my wife for 22 years, married for just shy of 16 years and never experienced any of that. Now in another relationship and again, not had an sign of ‘the mental’ whatsoever. king psychos. [goes off to count blessings]
ClaphamGT3 said:
My ex wife was (is) a paranoid schizophrenic who, at the time was undiagnosed and refusing any form of treatment/medication for psychiatric issues and vehemently denying the fact that she may have issues, both formally and informally, because she didn't want it affecting her career
You probably should have mentioned that with your anecdote rather than fanning the fires of 'all wimmin are mental'. Gargamel said:
pincher said:
Joey Ramone said:
You all appear to have married fking psychos.
Does appear that way - I must be in a tiny minority - I was with my wife for 22 years, married for just shy of 16 years and never experienced any of that. Now in another relationship and again, not had an sign of ‘the mental’ whatsoever. king psychos. [goes off to count blessings]
h, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, she goes through the kids "ask dad this", "ask dad that", she will not be civil to him at all.I was saying to him a few weeks ago that I really can't fathom how his wife who once upon a time loved him, did things with him, treated him so well could then just turn, fine if she has fallen out of love with him; it happens, but at least be civil, why all of a sudden is there all this hate and vitriol.
Sad thing is, the kids see how she treats him and speaks to him.
HTP99 said:
It is odd how seemingly normal people can suddenly just turn; my colleagues wife (soon to be ex), is just an outright bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down,
That sounds like my 'mate''s soon to be ex. On the surface you'd think she was a total bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, h but actually, if you know him well you can totally understand her contempt of him. Badda said:
HTP99 said:
It is odd how seemingly normal people can suddenly just turn; my colleagues wife (soon to be ex), is just an outright bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down,
That sounds like my 'mate''s soon to be ex. On the surface you'd think she was a total bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, h but actually, if you know him well you can totally understand her contempt of him. HTP99 said:
Badda said:
HTP99 said:
It is odd how seemingly normal people can suddenly just turn; my colleagues wife (soon to be ex), is just an outright bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down,
That sounds like my 'mate''s soon to be ex. On the surface you'd think she was a total bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, h but actually, if you know him well you can totally understand her contempt of him. I think it is something along the lines of (in their own mind's) about making the other person to be really cruel and evil and how they have wasted so many years and time trying to live with such an evil man. Once women villify the man, it is much easier for them to move on. I.e. they can justify it to themselves, friends and family.
HTP99 said:
It is odd how seemingly normal people can suddenly just turn; my colleagues wife (soon to be ex), is just an outright bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, she goes through the kids "ask dad this", "ask dad that", she will not be civil to him at all.
I was saying to him a few weeks ago that I really can't fathom how his wife who once upon a time loved him, did things with him, treated him so well could then just turn, fine if she has fallen out of love with him; it happens, but at least be civil, why all of a sudden is there all this hate and vitriol.
Sad thing is, the kids see how she treats him and speaks to him.
He needs to tell her that he will not respond to communications via third parties. That is totally unfair on the childrenh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, she goes through the kids "ask dad this", "ask dad that", she will not be civil to him at all.I was saying to him a few weeks ago that I really can't fathom how his wife who once upon a time loved him, did things with him, treated him so well could then just turn, fine if she has fallen out of love with him; it happens, but at least be civil, why all of a sudden is there all this hate and vitriol.
Sad thing is, the kids see how she treats him and speaks to him.
DocJock said:
HTP99 said:
It is odd how seemingly normal people can suddenly just turn; my colleagues wife (soon to be ex), is just an outright bh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, she goes through the kids "ask dad this", "ask dad that", she will not be civil to him at all.
I was saying to him a few weeks ago that I really can't fathom how his wife who once upon a time loved him, did things with him, treated him so well could then just turn, fine if she has fallen out of love with him; it happens, but at least be civil, why all of a sudden is there all this hate and vitriol.
Sad thing is, the kids see how she treats him and speaks to him.
He needs to tell her that he will not respond to communications via third parties. That is totally unfair on the childrenh, there is nothing violent but she just treats him with utter contempt, she won't speak to him unless it is to put him down, she goes through the kids "ask dad this", "ask dad that", she will not be civil to him at all.I was saying to him a few weeks ago that I really can't fathom how his wife who once upon a time loved him, did things with him, treated him so well could then just turn, fine if she has fallen out of love with him; it happens, but at least be civil, why all of a sudden is there all this hate and vitriol.
Sad thing is, the kids see how she treats him and speaks to him.
olly22n said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I had a violent ex. She assaulted me one day, I called the police and she was in a cell within an hour and charged later that day.In my opinion the police took dv very seriously and didn’t have a bias towards gender.
MYOB said:
So, the non molestation order I have says only contact ex by email only on matters regarding arrangements with the children and stay away from the home.
Does anyone know if this will have any effects on my applications under the financial and children arrangements orders?
The court has ruled that I probably did hit my wife on two occasions. Lies of course but they believed her version.
You have not been charged or prosecuted for anything, and even if you had they are not supposed to take such things into account, especially the financials......Does anyone know if this will have any effects on my applications under the financial and children arrangements orders?
The court has ruled that I probably did hit my wife on two occasions. Lies of course but they believed her version.
However you can 100% guarantee her solicitor/barrister will certainly use it as a mud slinging exercise at the hearings, just so she gets what she wants, and even though the judge is not supposed to take any notice, they sure as well will.
Now you do not have access to the house she will be after 100% of it unless you have a large amount of equity tied up in it, if so you are looking at 70/30 her way if they order it to be sold, or a mesher order until the youngest has left education before the house can then be sold.
Access, again I am guessing if she retains the house you wont be able to afford suitable accommodation for the kids, my ex had to deliver mine to my mums for my weekend access as I could not pick them up from home due to the occupation order.
PAUL500 said:
Narcissist, its all about their wants and needs, no one else matters.
Before my wife had an affair and shagged up our marriage her ethos became YOLO. As you say, needs and wants that, as you only live once, trump all other issues. But afterwards it’s strangely their partner’s fault. The twisting and turning to post justify their actions defies all logic.Strange how you think you know someone only to discover that you really, really don’t!
YankeePorker said:
Before my wife had an affair and shagged up our marriage her ethos became YOLO. As you say, needs and wants that, as you only live once, trump all other issues. But afterwards it’s strangely their partner’s fault. The twisting and turning to post justify their actions defies all logic.
Strange how you think you know someone only to discover that you really, really don’t!
F me. My wife started that YOLO crap when we were splitting up. Strange how you think you know someone only to discover that you really, really don’t!
PAUL500 said:
You have not been charged or prosecuted for anything, and even if you had they are not supposed to take such things into account, especially the financials......
However you can 100% guarantee her solicitor/barrister will certainly use it as a mud slinging exercise at the hearings, just so she gets what she wants, and even though the judge is not supposed to take any notice, they sure as well will.
Now you do not have access to the house she will be after 100% of it unless you have a large amount of equity tied up in it, if so you are looking at 70/30 her way if they order it to be sold, or a mesher order until the youngest has left education before the house can then be sold.
Access, again I am guessing if she retains the house you wont be able to afford suitable accommodation for the kids, my ex had to deliver mine to my mums for my weekend access as I could not pick them up from home due to the occupation order.
Thanks, my due concerns are how CAFCASS treat the "findings" of these incidents. I have a list of allegations regarding my ex's poor treatment of the kids, and so far, the Courts have not been interested. I tried to raise these in last week's hearing and they said these are not relevant for the non mol/occupation order and will be a matter for the Child Arrangements Order.However you can 100% guarantee her solicitor/barrister will certainly use it as a mud slinging exercise at the hearings, just so she gets what she wants, and even though the judge is not supposed to take any notice, they sure as well will.
Now you do not have access to the house she will be after 100% of it unless you have a large amount of equity tied up in it, if so you are looking at 70/30 her way if they order it to be sold, or a mesher order until the youngest has left education before the house can then be sold.
Access, again I am guessing if she retains the house you wont be able to afford suitable accommodation for the kids, my ex had to deliver mine to my mums for my weekend access as I could not pick them up from home due to the occupation order.
But the problem is, there will not be a fact finding hearing for the child arrangements as last week's hearing was considered the fact finding hearing! CAFCASS have been instructed to do their S7 Report but I have no faith that they will be fair given the ex constant theme of alleging domestic abuse, and is now saying it was all in front of the children! Utterly absurd.
I'm close to giving up on this...!
I dated a girl last year, and she was the one who told me my ex was a clear narcissist, she went into great detail about how her own mother was one, and that they no longer spoke as a result. it really opened my eyes and made me realise she was spot on.
Then a few weeks later when I said something innocuous one day in a conversation we were having she said nothing about it, carried on happily, then when I whatsapped her later she went the total and utter mental on me, doing and saying all the things she said her mother used to do!
Then a few weeks later when I said something innocuous one day in a conversation we were having she said nothing about it, carried on happily, then when I whatsapped her later she went the total and utter mental on me, doing and saying all the things she said her mother used to do!
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