Any other expectant Dads?

[cbmotorsport]

Blown2CV said:

cbmotorsport said:

My wife's last day at work today. Nursery painting tomorrow and a good clear out in preparation for the new arrival. Just under 4 weeks until due date!

christ mrs 2CV had me doing the nursery about 4 months before due date!! It needed more than painting though...

In fairness, there's nothing wrong with it, we thought we'd just give it a spruce up! :-)

...oh, and she has been mentioning it for some time.

[NuckyThompson]

Scan date came through for us yesterday and have got it in a little over 2 weeks. Getting excited now particularly as the missus has been joking about twins lately which is slightly more likely as she’s older.

Did many of your partners suffer from morning sickness, mine has had it pretty much everyday for a few weeks now.

Looking forward to not hiding it from friends now.

[Jonnny]

My wife didn't actually have any sickness, but did feel a bit sick at times.

We were 35 weeks yesterday so 35 days or so to go.. Scary but incredibly exciting too! We had extra scans at 28, 32 and 34 weeks.. So we've seen him for the last time and next time will be for real.

Nursery is done, her baby shower is tomorrow.

Her hormones are mental at the moment though, up and down like crazy.. Doing my best to deal with it but it's difficult!

[Lazadude]

Vaud said:

Try very low light in her room, just sit on the floor talking and playing with toys and let her come to you?

Kind of did this (did the night feeds etc) and it worked a treat. Thanks for the idea, shes slowly coming around to seeing me as favourite again lol.

Childminder didn't recognise me yesterday which was funny.

Congrats on new expectants, I'm looking forward to thus Christmas as its hopefully the first one where she has an idea of whats going on rather then just being there lol.

[Vaud]

Lazadude said:

Kind of did this (did the night feeds etc) and it worked a treat. Thanks for the idea, shes slowly coming around to seeing me as favourite again lol.

HTH

My 15 month old got freaked out when I had 7 days stubble but not when I wore a halloween mask (she thought it was hilarious). They seem to place a lot on facial recognition with subtle nuances being key.

[HootersGsy]

Vaud said:

HTH

My 15 month old got freaked out when I had 7 days stubble but not when I wore a halloween mask (she thought it was hilarious). They seem to place a lot on facial recognition with subtle nuances being key.

Given the intensity with which our little girl stares at your face when feeding her this doesn't surprise me at all, she must study every last detail during each feed.

7 weeks old now and we're still struggling to get her to sleep by herself, mum has been co-sleeping with her pretty much all the time. We've tried things like hot water bottles to warm the cot and putting bits of mums clothing in there but put her down and 5-10 minutes later (if that) she's screaming her head off, if she falls asleep on you (and stays there!) she'll sleep for a couple of hours no problem.

[Blown2CV]

HootersGsy said:

Vaud said:

HTH

My 15 month old got freaked out when I had 7 days stubble but not when I wore a halloween mask (she thought it was hilarious). They seem to place a lot on facial recognition with subtle nuances being key.

Given the intensity with which our little girl stares at your face when feeding her this doesn't surprise me at all, she must study every last detail during each feed.

7 weeks old now and we're still struggling to get her to sleep by herself, mum has been co-sleeping with her pretty much all the time. We've tried things like hot water bottles to warm the cot and putting bits of mums clothing in there but put her down and 5-10 minutes later (if that) she's screaming her head off, if she falls asleep on you (and stays there!) she'll sleep for a couple of hours no problem.

they encounter so many new things and have to accommodate such a large amount of new information and knowledge that there are relatively few things which they see as an anchor or something which they feel is a constant or something they understand and are comfortable with. Parents are one of those things and faces are the focal point for that. When something changes it can freak them out. That said when Mrs 2CV straightens her hair it freaks me out so i can understand it even as an adult.

[Gary29]

Echo the congratulations above to all the other expectant Dads, feels REALLY weird to me to now be on the other side...but our first is one month old this week and she is settling into a sleep/feed pattern of every four hours, which is great for everyone, mum is able to get some well deserved sleep and the baby is growing like a weed.

It's still not really sinking in that I'm a father now, but she already brings us so much joy, laughing our heads off at her little mannerisms and fighting all the time when she has her nappy changed, she is disconcertingly strong for something so small!

I can't get over how nice EVERYONE has been to us, we are still receiving cards and gifts from friends and family we haven't seen for years, guilt levels are through the roof and I feel very humbled. The grand parents really are besotted, never seen them like this before. Thinking of ways to try and show some gratitude, I'm thinking Xmas might cost me a few quid this year....d'oh! Fiancee has been awesome, I'm back at work and well rested, she's even let me have a couple of rides out on the MTB.....please don't hate me!

So far, for me, fatherhood has been like the TB injection you had at school, built up to be something to be terrified of, but then when you get there yourself, it wasn't half as bad as you were expecting......apart from the actual birth itself.....not sure I want to go through that again in a hurry......the rest is a breeze

[Vaud]

HootersGsy said:

Given the intensity with which our little girl stares at your face when feeding her this doesn't surprise me at all, she must study every last detail during each feed.

7 weeks old now and we're still struggling to get her to sleep by herself, mum has been co-sleeping with her pretty much all the time. We've tried things like hot water bottles to warm the cot and putting bits of mums clothing in there but put her down and 5-10 minutes later (if that) she's screaming her head off, if she falls asleep on you (and stays there!) she'll sleep for a couple of hours no problem.

Some do that (both of ours). They all vary.

There is no right or wrong... co-sleeping is very common in other cultures.

[Super Slo Mo]

Gary29 said:

So far, for me, fatherhood has been like the TB injection you had at school, built up to be something to be terrified of, but then when you get there yourself, it wasn't half as bad as you were expecting......apart from the actual birth itself.....not sure I want to go through that again in a hurry......the rest is a breeze

It was like that for me. I absolutely could not stand kids at all and really didn’t want one. I’ve had a complete 180, and miss him for the 4 days a week I work away. Apart from the screaming that is .
One thing that I have been aware of though, is that I haven’t been as attentive of my own parents, up to the point of having my own kid, as I could have been.
Unfortunately I didn’t understand what it meant to be a parent on an emotional level. I do now.

[CharlieH89]

NuckyThompson said:

Scan date came through for us yesterday and have got it in a little over 2 weeks. Getting excited now particularly as the missus has been joking about twins lately which is slightly more likely as she’s older.

Did many of your partners suffer from morning sickness, mine has had it pretty much everyday for a few weeks now.

Looking forward to not hiding it from friends now.

My wife had it really bad up until 18 weeks. She’s 21 weeks now. Time doesn’t half fly. Them 4 months were ridiculous though.

[zubzob]

Can anyone comment on the first couple of months? We are only 5 weeks, and have been told we can't do anything re scans or appointments until at least 8-9 weeks. Other than folic acid, anything we should be doing? Is a private scan worth it?

[Gary29]

zubzob said:

Can anyone comment on the first couple of months? We are only 5 weeks, and have been told we can't do anything re scans or appointments until at least 8-9 weeks. Other than folic acid, anything we should be doing? Is a private scan worth it?

Just chill out and relax would be my advice, especially mum to be, she should be eating healthily, avoiding alcohol and cigarettes (obviously) and maybe cutting the caffeine back a bit, keep taking the folic acid and keeping stress levels as low as possible.

Other than that, it's a waiting game, we didn't do much at all before the 12 week scan was booked.

[Fermit and Sarah]

An update from me, as needing to vent somewhere. Please don't let the mood of my tone detract from the joy of any of you expecting fathers.

We are about to resume on yet another attempt of IVF. Some of you may recall, back in March, that Sarah lost her baby (pregnancy)
which was mortifying. We have had two further attempts without success, so this time shall be the forth. I am worrying that it may not happen, and it is chewing me up a little TBH. The other thing is that we are not getting any younger, she is 40, I'm 41.
She is taking the line of 'it shall happen for us darling', but I fear this is a front, and she has the same worries.

IIRC, after this try (should it not happen) we have two more Embryos, then there shall be no further NHS support, it shall be at our cost (save the debate around the morals of funding for another day please) We are not cash rich ATM, nor shall we be for a few more years at least (mid a significant house renovation)

If any of you dads, or expecting dads have been through similar, and have any words of advice or the like I would welcome them, as this one is upsetting me some what.

[Peanut Gallery]

You are in my thoughts Fermit. The closest I know is of a friend who is going to Czech for IVF, and watching them is hard enough.

Wishing you all the best, and I really hope you have sleepless nights soon!

[Gary29]

I can't offer any advice, but I wish you both all the very best.

It's a tough situation to be in, I'd probably feel the same way you do as a realist (most people think pessimist!) I think I'd just try to talk as much as possible and try to convince her not to put so much pressure on the situation and let nature do it's thing.

Easier said than done I know, but her being so stressed and emotionally invested may not be productive at this stage.

It's different for women though and hard for us men to comprehend how it feels to want to be a mother, you can only continue to be there for her and support her as much as you can which it sounds like you're doing.

Good luck to you both.

[Vaud]

zubzob said:

Can anyone comment on the first couple of months? We are only 5 weeks, and have been told we can't do anything re scans or appointments until at least 8-9 weeks. Other than folic acid, anything we should be doing? Is a private scan worth it?

There isn't much point in earlier scans as I understand it - it is too small to make useful measurements and assessments.

[Jonnny]

Fermit and Sarah said:

An update from me, as needing to vent somewhere. Please don't let the mood of my tone detract from the joy of any of you expecting fathers.

We are about to resume on yet another attempt of IVF. Some of you may recall, back in March, that Sarah lost her baby (pregnancy)
which was mortifying. We have had two further attempts without success, so this time shall be the forth. I am worrying that it may not happen, and it is chewing me up a little TBH. The other thing is that we are not getting any younger, she is 40, I'm 41.
She is taking the line of 'it shall happen for us darling', but I fear this is a front, and she has the same worries.

IIRC, after this try (should it not happen) we have two more Embryos, then there shall be no further NHS support, it shall be at our cost (save the debate around the morals of funding for another day please) We are not cash rich ATM, nor shall we be for a few more years at least (mid a significant house renovation)

If any of you dads, or expecting dads have been through similar, and have any words of advice or the like I would welcome them, as this one is upsetting me some what.

I heard the same kind of situation before, felt like it wouldn't work.. But went on holiday for a few weeks, proper relax and away from everything all the stresses and it worked.

Maybe nothing to do with the holiday, but might help.

Good luck with everything.

[DuncB7]

Vaud said:

zubzob said:

Can anyone comment on the first couple of months? We are only 5 weeks, and have been told we can't do anything re scans or appointments until at least 8-9 weeks. Other than folic acid, anything we should be doing? Is a private scan worth it?

There isn't much point in earlier scans as I understand it - it is too small to make useful measurements and assessments.

Agreed. My mrs was determined to get an early scan so booked her a private one at 9 weeks as there was special offer on and it wasn't expensive. Kept her happy. Happy wife and all that.

Even at 9 weeks, you have to use your imagination to see a fetus. I remember seeing what I thought was a miniature Dalek.

Essentially told us it was a viable pregnancy and cervix was in good shape (assumed this was regards miscarriage).

In hindsight, I'd probably just wait for the NHS 12 weeker.

NHS Scotland give out free vitamins for mum's to be, not sure if a similar scheme is operated where you are but these contained folic acid. They were given out freely even after birth whilst feeding too.

[Fermit and Sarah]

Thank you all. Stress in one she is very aware of, and she is trying to remain as relaxed as can be. She is also planning on losing a stone over the next month, she's not a big girl, but to get her BMI spot on.