Idiotic Neighbour!
Discussion
Sway said:
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.
Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
So proud to be a PHer right now.Hammer them into his lawn vertically.
Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.
If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.
Like a big Art Attack.
OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?
sebhaque said:
Silverbullet767 said:
Bookmarked.
Can I suggest that you decorate his car in post-its?
I see a problem with this. The post it notes on the windows should be placed upside-down - that way if you try to be clever and roll the window down, it just flattens the fCan I suggest that you decorate his car in post-its?
kers to the window instead of peeling them off. Same goes for wiper sweep although they often catch on the way back.
k that!Have you seen how expensive "post it" notes are?!?
Tuvra said:
sebhaque said:
Silverbullet767 said:
Bookmarked.
Can I suggest that you decorate his car in post-its?
I see a problem with this. The post it notes on the windows should be placed upside-down - that way if you try to be clever and roll the window down, it just flattens the fCan I suggest that you decorate his car in post-its?
kers to the window instead of peeling them off. Same goes for wiper sweep although they often catch on the way back.
k that!Have you seen how expensive "post it" notes are?!?
OP here 
I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
H18 ENF said:
OP here
I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
Well, not strictly true, at least one Sausage was getting buried...I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
What an utter piece of human excrement he truly is, some people are not desitined to exist in society without going against every grain there is, absolutely a mental, you cant reason with them, their brains are wired wrong.
My uncles neighbour is one, that dangerous combination of retired, meddlesome, opinianted old berk who knows every law and called the Police about criminal damage done by my uncle, the damage was a hedge, that he was pruning, there is no point entering into any kind of dialogue once you have established contact with a mental, though pushing their buttons can be kind of fun.
Had a neighbour a few years back that did nothing but complain about my noisy kids, barking dogs etc etc.
One day he walked into my garage while I was reparing something and informed me that he had been burgled the night before.
He complained that because my dogs hadnt barked, he had had to wake his wife and send her down stairs to "see off the burglers".
I of caurse apologies for my dogs being so inconsiderate and so putting his wife in danger !!!! What a knob.
One day he walked into my garage while I was reparing something and informed me that he had been burgled the night before.
He complained that because my dogs hadnt barked, he had had to wake his wife and send her down stairs to "see off the burglers".
I of caurse apologies for my dogs being so inconsiderate and so putting his wife in danger !!!! What a knob.
If I were you I would go out to his vehicle in the middle of the night and take a st on the hood of his van hahahaha imagine his surprise when he gets into his van, starts it up and turns on the wipers to wipe away the morning doo (< get it? Dew doo) and is faced with human feces resting atop the hood of his handi mobile. 
t on the hood of his van hahahaha imagine his surprise when he gets into his van, starts it up and turns on the wipers to wipe away the morning doo (< get it? Dew doo) and is faced with human feces resting atop the hood of his handi mobile. 
H18 ENF said:
OP here
I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
Is the cheating bit true? If so, now is the time to go around there and gloat. Perhaps mention that you're thinking of accusing him of interfering with your young students,,I wish I could tell you tales of sausages being stuck to post it notes buried in the ground to be posted through his letterbox and set fire to but unfortunately, before I had chance to do any of this his wife found him cheating on her with a 21 year old... Which considering he's a mental and in his 40's I don't quite know how to feel about...
The upshot being he is no longer my neighbour... His wife, incidentally, had a freak accident in her car apparently after all the brake lines had been cut... She was on her way to the tip with many many 'subscription only' magazines which she claims she'd never heard of...
Probably coincidental...
These things are best dine informally over a cup of tea and a ginger snap.
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