14yr old- flash point over him living on his PlayStation

[JQ]

Pit Pony said:

ruggedscotty said:

I remember a few years ago (This isnt new) friend got concerned about use of computer and playing of games etc...

curtailed this locked up computer and generally brought in control. Didnt go down well....

14 year old son gets angry about change in computer use.... says you will be sorry to father....

Friend comes home, daughter comes in and says seen your car.... ?

he looks out and sees son standing with tin of white paint, and paint running off of car....

Goes out, just as well son is faster than father as there would have been a murder. Anyways turns out son standing there with tin of dulux's best white paint had put some dairy cream over the car, and sent in the sister....

Grounded, and no computer / consoles for 3 months from that. Think the son learned about actions have consequences....

Son should have been given a medal. Brilliant work. Shows great imagination and creativity. But also a understanding of the boundaries you shouldn't cross ice creme okay, paint not okay

Indeed, my son would have got a high five for getting one over on me and bringing humour into the situation. He'd still have been made to clean it up though.

[coldel]

My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.

Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.

[r3g]

coldel said:

My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.

Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.

I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.

[vaud]

coldel said:

There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft.

There is one element that is a must, and that is the parents must be on the same page and same range of what they will tolerate, or the child will just leverage the difference.

[coldel]

r3g said:

coldel said:

My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.

Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.

I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.

we kept him off carbonated drinks for years and he eats pretty healthy at home so yes its all relative, he's a good lad and sees the value in the smaller things in life as much as the bigger things

[BrokenSkunk]

vaud said:

There is one element that is a must, and that is the parents must be on the same page and same range of what they will tolerate, or the child will just leverage the difference.

There are two. When a rule is made, it must be enforced.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

Sycamore said:

vaud said:

Sycamore said:

You had a volatile son who was prone to kicking off when he didn't get his own way, so now you're training him in hand-to-hand combat
Upcoming thread next week about how you told him off and got Mr Miyagi'd

Personally I think it is a good idea. A disciplined sport that burns off energy... probably good to channel it.

Agreed, I'm just taking the piss.

The bigger issue would always be OP's wife not exactly backing him up

Yes. Yesterday she said I've been trying to make him drink water all day you make him. He obviously heard and must have been thinking 'ah the management are showing their weakness again'..

Edited by Hugo Stiglitz on Thursday 11th April 18:48

[sandman77]

r3g said:

coldel said:

My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.

Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.

I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.

I just about spat my coffee all over my keyboard reading this.

[Wacky Racer]

My lads are all now nearly forty, but one in particular was a nightmare between the ages of 13-19.

He used to be gaming until 6am sometimes, it caused terrible rows because my wife did not back me up, just left me too it. His bedroom was a pigsty too, even though we lived in a lovely house.

I tried taking away his equipment, but he argued he was playing with mates in America and it was daytime there.

Eventually, he left home and is now an extremely wealthy computer programmer

To sum up, make sure your wife 100% supports whatever you decide.

Apparently 14 year old girls are ten times worse.

[coldel]

sandman77 said:

I just about spat my coffee all over my keyboard reading this.

Haha it does sound like he lives in a cage in the basement in poverty on a second read through
We kept him away from lots of sugary stuff and carbonated drinks growing up, so yeah its a treat for him as he gets a massive sugar hit off it and will happily dump the tech to help me out and get a sugar hit

[NRG1976]

sandman77 said:

r3g said:

coldel said:

My boy is 12 and we see the same addictive challenges to a mobile/PS we have. Its a challenge as most kids nowadays socialise digitally, its not just a case of taking tech away you are removing them from a social group. Its the modern equivalent of when we were younger and being told by your parent that you couldn't go outside and hang out with your mates and to sit inside on your own instead looking at them out the window. The teenagers of today will conversely have similar challenges later in life with their own kid and whatever socialising tech/activity is popular at the time.

Every kid is different, an individual, and react in different ways. There is no single 'heres what you should do' solution, thats just daft. Its worth listening to others experiences and taking from them what you want. Personally I try to break up his tech time rather than long on/off times. So every hour or so will tell him I need him for something, for example I need a hand grabbing lunch from Tesco so we go for a walk there and back and he helps carry stuff and he gets a can of Fanta as a treat, so on and so forth.

I'm sure the kid can barely contain his excitement.

I just about spat my coffee all over my keyboard reading this.

Made his kid sound like a dog being trained

[r3g]

[Sycamore]

Poor kid automatically starts doing every stand up, sit down, roll over, shake-a-paw trick he knows whenever he's round his mates house and they offer him a drink

[HertsBiker]

And this thread is exactly why I don't have kids, because I couldn't trust myself to not say something really bad.

Will say that interest in gaming can lead to a good career though!

[coldel]

Its bonkers the money people in their mid twenties a couple of years out of uni are getting as data scientists/engineers

[Slowboathome]

Sycamore said:

Poor kid automatically starts doing every stand up, sit down, roll over, shake-a-paw trick he knows whenever he's round his mates house and they offer him a drink

Hahahaha!

[goldieandblackie]

In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.

Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.

[Sway]

goldieandblackie said:

In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.

Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.

It does seem exceedingly strange that society would end up deciding it didn't want to routinely beat their children in order to gain total subservience...

[Bluevanman]

Sway said:

It does seem exceedingly strange that society would end up deciding it didn't want to routinely beat their children in order to gain total subservience...

There's a middle ground between beating them and letting them do whatever they want.

[goldieandblackie]

In the 1970s he would have been thrashed with a leather belt and told to go to his room and the teachers at school where just as bad pulling your hair and slapping you, ask me how I know.

Seems today society has gone in completely the opposite direction and now far too soft and wishing to best friends with their kids.