Just the punchlines please

[Mahatma Bag]

OK, I've just shot him again. Now what?






They're looking for me!






Hello Bob, how are you getting on?








Because the tiles are cheaper on the landing.








He made his own sandwiches

[JonRB]

"The gun you gave me was loaded with blanks. So I beat her to death with the chair instead."

[bumblebee]

"Aha! It's better than bacon isn't it!"

"Would you like me to put on your bill sir?"

[stuttgartmetal]

bumblebee said:

"Would you like me to put it on your bill sir?"

Thats not the punchline,its Donald Duck saying
"what dya think I am, a pervert?"

In the same vein

"well will you stop pinging them out the window, the ducks are choking on them"

Edited by stuttgartmetal on Monday 16th June 15:59

[offroading.net]

You should have seen the monkey trying to put the cork back in!

[mybrainhurts]

Left leg first....

[funkyboogalooo]

i said prick his boil..............

[mybrainhurts]

Well, you won't find one round here at this time of night...

[Fer]

No, I was trying the shoes on.

And if I had known you were going to try that hard, I would have taken my tights off.

Not sure to go for the difficult pink, or the easy brown.

Really, what part of Lesbia are you from?

That's OK, I can follow behind on my moped.

[Mattygooner]

Do you know anything about Parachutes?

No, Do you know anything about gas boilers?

[MrFlibbles]

So I said "No! But that's a real nice ski mask!"

[molestrangler]

And she said "And in a week, you will have a nasty rash and if you like, you can call it measles"

[71notout]

Put it in an oven until it's Bill Withers.

It was a Shih-Tzu.

Every third month it's your turn in the barrel.

[TigerK]

.....and the doctor said "That's just the tip of the iceberg"

[Strangely Brown]

[scandinavian accent]

... neither. It's fer me armpits.

[Donut]

I just cut two inches off the top of your wellies....

[The Hypno-Toad]

Strangely Brown][scandinavian accent said:

... neither. It's fer me armpits.

Best.Joke.Evah. (wish I'd remembered it.)

Oh well,

"& for all your sins on earth Ms Hilton, may I introduce Bernie Ecclestone,"

[mybrainhurts]

Wear what you like, mate, there's only going to be the two of us.....

[john_r]

...and it took a week to wipe the smile off her face!

[Fer]

No, just how to change the batteries.

(Which is closely linked to)

No, because that is my thermos!