Sean Connery Joke (Volume IV)
Discussion
Bruce the australian millionaire is having a bbq round his pool! All his mates are there plus Abdul the local shop keeper! After a few beers Bruce shows them the 15 ft croc he keeps in the pool and bets a million dollars to anyone who can beat it in a fight! Abdul dives in wrestling, biting, gouging, the lot! Kills it and climbs out! "Wow!" Bruce says, "I owe you a million!" "Don't want it" says Abdul! "A car then and a rolex!" "No" he replies! "Well what do you want?" Abdul says "I want the 
who pushed me in!"
who pushed me in!"mickk said:
Bruce the australian millionaire is having a bbq round his pool! All his mates are there plus Abdul the local shop keeper! After a few beers Bruce shows them the 15 ft croc he keeps in the pool and bets a million dollars to anyone who can beat it in a fight! Abdul dives in wrestling, biting, gouging, the lot! Kills it and climbs out! "Wow!" Bruce says, "I owe you a million!" "Don't want it" says Abdul! "A car then and a rolex!" "No" he replies! "Well what do you want?" Abdul says "I want the who pushed me in!"
Apart from the fact that it's a very old joke! Why did you need to end every sentence with an exclamation mark! Do you think that somehow added to the humour! It didn't, by the way! who pushed me in!"Must try harder!
Adrian Swarl said:
mickk said:
Bruce the australian millionaire is having a bbq round his pool! All his mates are there plus Abdul the local shop keeper! After a few beers Bruce shows them the 15 ft croc he keeps in the pool and bets a million dollars to anyone who can beat it in a fight! Abdul dives in wrestling, biting, gouging, the lot! Kills it and climbs out! "Wow!" Bruce says, "I owe you a million!" "Don't want it" says Abdul! "A car then and a rolex!" "No" he replies! "Well what do you want?" Abdul says "I want the who pushed me in!"
Apart from the fact that it's a very old joke! Why did you need to end every sentence with an exclamation mark! Do you think that somehow added to the humour! It didn't, by the way! who pushed me in!"Must try harder!
Beer contains female hormones
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
)Adrian Swarl said:
mickk said:
Bruce the australian millionaire is having a bbq round his pool! All his mates are there plus Abdul the local shop keeper! After a few beers Bruce shows them the 15 ft croc he keeps in the pool and bets a million dollars to anyone who can beat it in a fight! Abdul dives in wrestling, biting, gouging, the lot! Kills it and climbs out! "Wow!" Bruce says, "I owe you a million!" "Don't want it" says Abdul! "A car then and a rolex!" "No" he replies! "Well what do you want?" Abdul says "I want the who pushed me in!"
Apart from the fact that it's a very old joke! Why did you need to end every sentence with an exclamation mark! Do you think that somehow added to the humour! It didn't, by the way! who pushed me in!"Must try harder!
Thanks Mick !
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said,
"Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all your friends."
"Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all your friends."
NailedOn said:
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said,
"Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all your friends."
Was that not said a few pages back?"Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all your friends."
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