Tell Us Something Really Trivial About Your Life Volume 38

[pequod]

Bring a shovel and wheelbarrow, old boy, plus whatever hephalump food you have, as he/she/it is ver, ver, hungry!

[Bomma R1]

I'll ask Battert to sort out some kit. In the meantime, never mind about feeding the bugger, we need to get it out of there sharpish before the whole bloody issue ends up in the ablution block below.

[Bomma R1]

Anyhow, what in blue blazes is it doing in there in the first place? Is it somebody's pet or something?

[Bobberoo]

I say chaps, there's an awful racket coming from the residents lounge, sounds like a sodding elephant.......oh, oohhhhhhh!!!!!

Eeeeuuuwwwwww!!!! You'll need a damn sight more than a wheelbarrow to shift that lot!!!!

[KaraK]

Bomma R1 said:

Anyhow, what in blue blazes is it doing in there in the first place? Is it somebody's pet or something?

Ahh, that might be my fault. You see there was this cheeky chappy who came to the front gates the other day and asked me "Where does the 4,000kg Elephant sit?" and you see I thought he was engaging in a bit of japery in the vein of the old "Where does the 800lb Gorilla sit?" gag so I gamely supplied the expected punchline. Only for this geezer to respond "Don't mind if I do" and he promptly stomped off to the lounge.

Of course the fact that said visitor was a 4,000kg pachyderm should likely have been a clue but sadly I decided his species was irrelephant.

[pequod]

KaraK said:

Ahh, that might be my fault. You see there was this cheeky chappy who came to the front gates the other day and asked me "Where does the 4,000kg Elephant sit?" and you see I thought he was engaging in a bit of japery in the vein of the old "Where does the 800lb Gorilla sit?" gag so I gamely supplied the expected punchline. Only for this geezer to respond "Don't mind if I do" and he promptly stomped off to the lounge.

Of course the fact that said visitor was a 4,000kg pachyderm should likely have been a clue but sadly I decided his species was irrelephant.

Good grief old boy! Now what?? Eh, eh?

Buns, anyone got buns, them there hephalumps luv buns, or 'nana's?

[Bomma R1]

Oh fudge, that's all we need. Four tons of Africa's finest supported by a couple of bits of 3X2 and half a tube of Gripfill...

[KaraK]

pequod said:

Good grief old boy! Now what?? Eh, eh?

Buns, anyone got buns, them there hephalumps luv buns, or 'nana's?

I think bobbers has some leftover slow cooker curry?

[Bomma R1]

For gawd's sake don't feed the bugger any curry, Battert's got the steaming hump as it is. Quite literally, in fact. He's been back over here to fetch the Fordson.

[Error_404_Username_not_found]

Try giving him a bottle of cooking sherry. Apparently they like it and anyway, who wouldn't want to see what happens?

I have crab claws.

(I meant the elephant obvs. Don't give sherry to Battert. Nobody wants to see that).

[Bobberoo]

Hhhmmmm, now hang on just a minute, maybe this talking hephalump could be the answer to our upcoming Volume jump conundrum!!!!
Maybe we could ask/convince/tell/blackmail the bugger into dragging all of us into the new Volume?!?!??!

[pequod]

Bomma R1 said:

For gawd's sake don't feed the bugger any curry, Battert's got the steaming hump as it is. Quite literally, in fact. He's been back over here to fetch the Fordson.

Calm down, calm down, bobbers has nommed all the leftover curry, but glenners will be along shortly wiv the buns... and nana's...if I am any judge of character?

IOTN: Rabbit is out the Hat, and no mistake!

IOOTN: Maiden's given station's beyond their ken, will end in tears! Mark my words....

Pout

[DickyC]

Was it wise making James Hunt Chancellor of the Exchequer?

[Bomma R1]

DickyC said:

Was it wise making James Hunt Chancellor of the Exchequer?

Yes, I'd certainly have given him the job anyhow

[Bomma R1]

Where's glenners with these bloody buns anyway?

[glenrobbo]

pequod said:

Bomma R1 said:

For gawd's sake don't feed the bugger any curry, Battert's got the steaming hump as it is. Quite literally, in fact. He's been back over here to fetch the Fordson.

Calm down, calm down, bobbers has nommed all the leftover curry, but glenners will be along shortly wiv the buns... and nana's...if I am any judge of character?

IOTN: Rabbit is out the Hat, and no mistake!

IOOTN: Maiden's given station's beyond their ken, will end in tears! Mark my words....

Pout

Unfortunately buns and 'nanas have I none.

But I do have meatballs. And noodles, and a bag of baby leaf spinach, which Elephants Gerald/ Harry Elephante should find irresistible.
I also have plenty of shrubbery to tempt him, as I know his ilk are fond of foliage.

NI!

[witteringon]

DickyC said:

Was it wise making James Hunt Chancellor of the Exchequer?

I spot an opportunity for Pequod to find an appropriate rime (sic) there

[glenrobbo]

DickyC said:

Was it wise making James Hunt Chancellor of the Exchequer?

Thank heavens she didn't appoint Mike Hunt as Chancellor.

But it probably won't make an iota of difference now anyway, we're all screwed now.

[DickyC]

witteringon said:

DickyC said:

Was it wise making James Hunt Chancellor of the Exchequer?

I spot an opportunity for Pequod to find an appropriate rime (sic) there

Well it is Buns Night.

[glenrobbo]

Error_404_Username_not_found said:

I have crab claws.

It must be rather difficult to wipe your bum, 404.

If it's any consolation, the Brigadier has crabs.