'Jazz mags' stuffed in hedgerows

[dai1983]

I remember finding some in a local graveyard when I was about 7. I took it home and knowing my mum wouldn't approve I hid it in my garden. When she found it she "outed" me in front of my older siblings and father!

When I was older and moved on to videos she found a tape hidden behind my wardrobe. She was like some sort of porn hunter spoilsport in my youth.

[vxr8mate]

Top Jazz mag


Found it in a hedge only yesterday.

[Mr Gearchange]

Dude fking loves that hat, always wearing it - I suspect it's holding his jaw on.


Back on track surely only the elderly are buying printed porn - frankly I'm amazed anyone still prints it what withe the smorgesboard choice of free grot thats available to on a phone anywhere on the planet

[227bhp]

http://newsthump.com/2013/01/23/archaeologists-dis...

I remember my mother wondering wtf was going on with my brother when she found a page from one in his back pocket - it had a pic of King Dong on it.
For those who don't know he could (and indeed had in the pic) tie a knot in it.
I won't post up the link, but it is quite funny

[Rowley Birkin]

vxr8mate said:

Top Jazz mag


Found it in a hedge only yesterday.

Nice.

[rohrl]

I always wondered who it was that dumped plastic bags full of "Electric Blue" and "Whitehouse" mags in the woods at the end of the road where I grew up.

[daddy cool]

dai1983 said:

I remember finding some in a local graveyard when I was about 7. I took it home and knowing my mum wouldn't approve I hid it in my garden. When she found it she "outed" me in front of my older siblings and father!

The trick was to hide grot "in plain sight". Mine were slipped in between my collection of 2000AD back issues.
In fact, all the 2000ADs are still at mums and ive been meaning to go and pick them up. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a "razzle pile-up" between Judge Dredd and Rogue Trooper.

[8Ace]

Mr Gearchange said:

Dude fking loves that hat, always wearing it - I suspect it's holding his jaw on.

I saw him in Warwick Services on the M40. Guess how I recognised him?

[mrmaggit]

markmullen said:

Dan_1981 said:

As a paper boy I may or may not have borrowed said magazines that we were meant to be delivering

I'm amazed and intrigued that anyone would have their grot delivered.

I had two or three on my rounds, depending on which round I got. One was a couple who had Health and efficiency? the others were both Men Only.

[kowalski655]

As a teenager on school hols,went to work with my mum to help out,to find someone had dumped a huge(think 3 foot high) pile of mags & tapes in the car park! I was happy to volunteer to clear them up,and the warehouse guys were happy to have them put withthem for storage too.
She gave quite a lot to a mate of her boyfriend's, who truly WAS a sad wker

[kowalski655]

Phwaoar!!!
I suspect if I had the internet in my teens I would have wked myself into a coma

[sly fox]

Porn mags were a nice bit of income- buy them from the dodgy newsagents by Southfields Tube station, spend 15 minutes walking down the road to school glancing at the contents, then sell them to boys in lower years for a 100% mark up before 9am

Dragon's den would be proud.

[Rude-boy]

kowalski655 said:

Phwaoar!!!
I suspect if I had the internet in my teens I would have wked myself into a coma

Just imgine owning one of those packs of 'European Themed' playing cards and laying them out.

52 + 3 Jokers.

Who needed the Internet

[kowalski655]

sly fox said:

Porn mags were a nice bit of income- buy them from the dodgy newsagents by Southfields Tube station, spend 15 minutes walking down the road to school glancing at the contents, then sell them to boys in lower years for a 100% mark up before 9am

Dragon's den would be proud.

"Ahm oot!"
"So we see,please put it away!"

[austinsmirk]

My last bush find was about ten years ago. I cycle to work occasionally but do stupid long circuitous routes to make the journeys longer. Anyway I'm a rural spot, spied a carrier full.

Well that's going in the pannier home.

And then time for a retro bank just like my teenage years.


I don't think I could have survived being a teenager with the internet these days.

Spoilt. That's what they are, kids of today.

[Silent1]

I had one go through the flail on the tractor whilst cutting the entrance ways into the fields last week, afterwards i reckoned it must have been worth something for the pure novelty of literally finding a porn magazine in a hedge.

[dai1983]

Wacky Racer said:

You lot don't know you're born with all this internet malarkey....

In the good old days Health and Efficiency or the Littlewoods home shopping catalogue was where it was at.....

http://i58.tinypic.com/2jcseg9.jpg

This is me when I had my first broadband connection:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sdE0bm0TMkI

[s3fella]

Last time I bought one was for my mates stag do in 2003. Anyway, somehow, weeks later they were still in the boot of my car, so I decided to "dispose of them" in a time honoured way. Went down a secluded road, well of my normal route, stopped on a cross roads, and put them on the grass verge. Carried straight on down this road I didn't know, realised it was not goign to get me anywhere I needed to go, so turned around and backtracked. Must have left the site id left them at for less than two mins, before I arrived back there, and there were skid marks in the loose gravel of this tiny road, and a white van slewed a bit sideways to the ns, and two builder type guys actually dancing around on the verge with such happy gleeful expressions on their faces!! hahaha, it was so funny but I felt pretty good I'd cheered these chaps right up!!

Accessing pre internet porn was a proper challenge and made it so much more rewarding than nowadays!!

[StevieBee]

Finding a porno in bush was like finding money!

I remember copies of this edition of Mayfair trading hands for a lot of money at school in the 80s!

http://thumbsnap.com/sc/ozux89Jx.jpg|http://thumbsn...

[Mr-B]

J4CKO said:

I saw one last year on my way to work when cycling, made me nostalgic, but even nostalgia is not a powerful enough motivator to touch a pre-enjoyed porn mag.

Reminded me of a moment prior to last Christmas, middle and youngest were in our bedroom and we were sorting presents out, getting them off the wardrobe, youngest says "There is one still up there" and middle son stands on the bed frame and using his superior height, grabs the "present" and goes "That aint no present".

No sir, it was a very, very dusty pron mag, bought when away with work in a hotel with no wifi anyway it got lashed up there and gathered dust, so they realise what it was and I get a chorus of "Ewww, dad" and "that's disgusting", I just said "Well, you two can shut up, I have seen your internet history" and they shut up PDQ and just to shut the missus up who was tutting I added "I only kept it as its the one that has your mum in"

I shall nominate this for post of the year. Thanks for the chuckle.

JONSCZ said:

From Viz profanisaurus...
'Hedge Funds' - the substantial deposits of crumpled 'grumble' stashed in the hedgerows of suburban alleyways or scrublands by canny young 'merchant bankers'...
See also -'Ray Mears's Library'

I would have nominated this post too as a potential candidate for post of the year but it has disqualified itself as it's not an original work but was still very funny, I do like a bit of Viz's prof.