Discussion
Did you find out who the women were before you kicked them out and did Lady F manage to sleep through all your shenanigans?! 
I'm printing the OP off and saving it to hand to the wife next time she's miffed at the noise I make trying to be quiet, arriving home around midnight covered in mud and pissed from the sort of mtb ride that culminates in being thrown out of the pub at closing time.
I've tried not having a shower and sleeping on the dog's beds in the study, but she complains that she wakes up in the night, worrying that I've not arrived home. So I can;t win that way...
No idea how your weekend will go Flashman, but there is a balance between being to aloof and too contrite and you will be lucky to get it spot on, but let's hope, eh?
I've tried not having a shower and sleeping on the dog's beds in the study, but she complains that she wakes up in the night, worrying that I've not arrived home. So I can;t win that way...
No idea how your weekend will go Flashman, but there is a balance between being to aloof and too contrite and you will be lucky to get it spot on, but let's hope, eh?
Harry Flashman said:
I have tried so very hard to grow up. My marriage is recent, I love my wife, I am renovating a house for us to move into, and I was thinking that at nearly 40, I'd settled down and started behaving like a proper human being.
I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Very cool storI woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Harry Flashman said:
I have tried so very hard to grow up. My marriage is recent, I love my wife, I am renovating a house for us to move into, and I was thinking that at nearly 40, I'd settled down and started behaving like a proper human being.
I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Not councilI woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Vaud said:
Before they settled down, did Council Baby and Harry Flashman ever do a night out? I'm just wondering how legendary that might have been.
That didn't happen unfortunately, I did go out on the piss with 3 birds yesterday afternoon though, rolled in s
tfaced in the middle of the night and annoyed her enough for her to fk off to the spare room though.All is not lost here
She came back after I slurred an apology and threatened to try to carry her if she didn't walk there herself, after all she doesn't believe in going to sleep on an argument
Excellent work chap. You are a lesson to us all. It's all about conditioning isn't it. At your levels of misbehavior leaving dirty pants on the floor by the bed would be considered expemplary beahvior, provided they weren't covered in lipstick ( not that of Mrs F of course ). You've married a good one. Lucky boy.
Actually it was a Jura bourbon. Super-expensive whisky is one of the very few vices I don't actually have...
My wife is quite angry with me, it has to be said - but not really for Thursday night, which she regards as a return to standard form, and almost something of a relief (she prefers that I do something retarded like this but end up home, as opposed to waking up in random places, which was my MO when single). No, she is cross more for the fact that, not wanting to lose my tenants for my house whilst the new one is being renovated, I moved them in to the spare rooms. Lady F thinks that having a couple of my single chums around drinking beer and watching sport in our home all the time is not how she wanted to start married life.
I, personally, think it's brilliant. But I have to get the new house finished, and us moved in, before she runs out of patience.
On reflection, the woman does put up with a lot. Two years ago, before we were engaged, I moved her into my place on the promise of a committed, mature, co-habiting approach to life. Three weeks later I resigned from my job and buggered off to France for five months to go skiing (God love gardening leave, eh?). Most women would probably have been more annoyed about this than she was (I mean, she was upset, but we still got married, so not too much harm done, eh?).
Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission, in my experience.
My wife is quite angry with me, it has to be said - but not really for Thursday night, which she regards as a return to standard form, and almost something of a relief (she prefers that I do something retarded like this but end up home, as opposed to waking up in random places, which was my MO when single). No, she is cross more for the fact that, not wanting to lose my tenants for my house whilst the new one is being renovated, I moved them in to the spare rooms. Lady F thinks that having a couple of my single chums around drinking beer and watching sport in our home all the time is not how she wanted to start married life.
I, personally, think it's brilliant. But I have to get the new house finished, and us moved in, before she runs out of patience.
On reflection, the woman does put up with a lot. Two years ago, before we were engaged, I moved her into my place on the promise of a committed, mature, co-habiting approach to life. Three weeks later I resigned from my job and buggered off to France for five months to go skiing (God love gardening leave, eh?). Most women would probably have been more annoyed about this than she was (I mean, she was upset, but we still got married, so not too much harm done, eh?).
Always better to ask for forgiveness than permission, in my experience.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 8th August 16:16
I am not improving either with age,
Two weeks ago I had a couple of drinks with the wife, something to eat and felt a bit pissed so decided to walk the dog to clear my head, walked past the pub and one of the functional alcoholics I associate with in their forcibly ushered me in and put a pint in my hand, I rolled out of there at slightly before 1 am absolutely hammered, thankfully still had the dog, he had a great time getting fed all manner of crap and being fussed, I was dancing, or that is the nearest human activity it can be related to, thing it, when drunk I think I am quite a mover and look great, the thought of ever seeing myself on video fills me with dread.
I apparently drank some blokes pint by mistake, I still maintain it was mine but he was quite aggressive and quite keen to settle it physically, I just said I was sorry if it was indeed his, I only had a swig and am free from major diseases and if the bar were still open I would have definitely bought him a replacement and if you see me again, feel free to remind me and I will honour the deal at a later date, but he kept on and I pointed out that it wouldn't actually solve anything, I cant really give the mouthful of San Miguel back and an altercation would just result on us both spending a night in the local nick, court etc, I offered my hand to shake and he took it, then gave me a hug ffs, drink has a lot to answer for.
In Atlanta the other day, went to my "local" over there, not been for four years, the bar staff remembered me and a riotous night or two we had, got chatting with some folk and then ended up somewhere else, absolutely bladdered, dancing again, arrived back at 2am after a great night.
Got home on Friday, works night out at a hotel on Sat, declined it as decided I am becoming a bit of a liability, need not of worried, one of the bosses had been on it since late morning and was highly inappropriate, I realised I am but a rank amateur in being a nuisance when drunk.
Two weeks ago I had a couple of drinks with the wife, something to eat and felt a bit pissed so decided to walk the dog to clear my head, walked past the pub and one of the functional alcoholics I associate with in their forcibly ushered me in and put a pint in my hand, I rolled out of there at slightly before 1 am absolutely hammered, thankfully still had the dog, he had a great time getting fed all manner of crap and being fussed, I was dancing, or that is the nearest human activity it can be related to, thing it, when drunk I think I am quite a mover and look great, the thought of ever seeing myself on video fills me with dread.
I apparently drank some blokes pint by mistake, I still maintain it was mine but he was quite aggressive and quite keen to settle it physically, I just said I was sorry if it was indeed his, I only had a swig and am free from major diseases and if the bar were still open I would have definitely bought him a replacement and if you see me again, feel free to remind me and I will honour the deal at a later date, but he kept on and I pointed out that it wouldn't actually solve anything, I cant really give the mouthful of San Miguel back and an altercation would just result on us both spending a night in the local nick, court etc, I offered my hand to shake and he took it, then gave me a hug ffs, drink has a lot to answer for.
In Atlanta the other day, went to my "local" over there, not been for four years, the bar staff remembered me and a riotous night or two we had, got chatting with some folk and then ended up somewhere else, absolutely bladdered, dancing again, arrived back at 2am after a great night.
Got home on Friday, works night out at a hotel on Sat, declined it as decided I am becoming a bit of a liability, need not of worried, one of the bosses had been on it since late morning and was highly inappropriate, I realised I am but a rank amateur in being a nuisance when drunk.
Council Baby said:
Vaud said:
Before they settled down, did Council Baby and Harry Flashman ever do a night out? I'm just wondering how legendary that might have been.
That didn't happen unfortunately, I did go out on the piss with 3 birds yesterday afternoon though, rolled in stfaced in the middle of the night and annoyed her enough for her to fk off to the spare room though.All is not lost here
She came back after I slurred an apology and threatened to try to carry her if she didn't walk there herself, after all she doesn't believe in going to sleep on an argument
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Dont go home?????! wtft you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
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