That's it. She'll kill me this time

[Justayellowbadge]

Emsman, please, please, don't ever come to DD's.

By the time we had watched Liverpool St burn to the ground and grieved at the crater that was previously St Pauls we simply will not have the energy to take you to casualty to remove the Smirnoff Ice bottles that were hilariously, inadvertently, inserted during your telling of an anecdote.

[Emsman]

Justayellowbadge said:

Emsman, please, please, don't ever come to DD's.

By the time we had watched Liverpool St burn to the ground and grieved at the crater that was previously St Pauls we simply will not have the energy to take you to casualty to remove the Smirnoff Ice bottles that were hilariously, inadvertently, inserted during your telling of an anecdote.

Don't come to DD's to have Smirnoff Ice bottles inserted into me?

Consider it done

It would be my pleasure not to !

[4nonymous]

Shirley this thread is useless without pics

[eharding]

Emsman said:

(The Diary of The World's Most Powerful Disaster Magnet, 26th October 2009)

Mate - I think you're missing a trick here.

Do you have a Paypal account? If so, I'd be willing to pay you £50 an hour to simply follow Gordon Brown to every public appearance he makes - and so would several thousand other PHers. You don't have to do anything...just stand there, amongst the onlookers.

I mean. Who would have thought. Winky killed in Walsall by a Great White Shark falling on him...in a hijacked cargo 747. Carrying 200 tons of cat-st to Hong-Kong from Heathrow. With a tactical nuke on board.

[LotusACBC]

And to top it all off you won't be getting laid lol

[voyds9]

Check your house insurance you may be able to make a claim..................for a new cat.

[skeggysteve]

Are you and Harry F related?

[Distant]

"I've had a bit of an accident"

[pixel chick]

Emsman I am really sorry but I am sitting here pissing myself laughing at this

[The Riddler]

Emsman said:

See paint tin on step ladder (I never knew my real ladder)

[Norbury90]

OP, are you dead yet?

[mybrainhurts]

Don't know about that, but he said he had a fag....

Wrong, very wrong...

[Bill]

ellroy said:

you are frank spencer really aren't you?

Give that man a fiver

[Jasandjules]

Distant said:

"I've had a bit of an accident"

The cats done a whoopsie...........

[Marcellus]

Updates required Emsman....... are you alive to tell the tale??

[Emsman]

I'm alive!!!


I'm actually quite glad I am deaf in one ear these days- it has it's advantages after all!

Not much was actually said given the mess/stench.

I manfully blamed the cat for the entire incident!!

The lounge carpet has cleaned up really well, but we are now looking at putting oak flooring down.

Look forward to the next thrilling installment of: Emsman, my year in hell.

Oak flooring??? Hhhhmmmmm....power tools!

I suggested mrs emsman call me frank spencer- but she has decided on Reg Prescott (for those with a good memory)

[Marcellus]

Emsman said:

Oak flooring??? Hhhhmmmmm....power tools!

Please please please set up a live feed for this!!

[Emsman]

Marcellus said:

Emsman said:

Oak flooring??? Hhhhmmmmm....power tools!

Please please please set up a live feed for this!!

I may well do that- if I can bypass electrocuting myself setting it up.
Then it's the 3 stooges with long wood planks, and the ever present danger inherent with power tools.

Not today though- today will be a quiet one- as quiet as Anne Franks stereo.

[J-c]

Emsman please get a mate to help you on the oak flooring we do not want you dead not yet anyway

[Neil_H]

You seem to have a talent for slapstick, have you thought about going into the entertainment business?

At the very least you should set up some CCTV in the house, you could make a mint out of 'You've Been Framed' clips.