Damsel in distress!
Discussion
Sabz86 said:
becksW said:
What a strange way to earn a bonus?!
It's a bit more than that. It's for quite a bit more percentage towards my target that earns me my bonus. Just thought it'd be easier to explain. 
. Good luck, I'd offer suggestions but I'm rubbish at these sort of things.Edited by becksW on Tuesday 3rd August 21:39
Sabz86 said:
I have to come up with a poem that starts with 'I like working with Grant because...'
GTIR said:
Roses are red violets are blue
I like it up the arse and Grant does too.
Doesn't start with the correct line!!I like it up the arse and Grant does too.
Here's my s
te attempt!!I like working with Grant because...
He never looks down my tops
He's as gay as Graham Norton
but hasn't f
ked my daughterinstead he had my son up the bum!
Grant is a puff, he likes it up the chuff
He doesn't like women because they cant f
k himand he likes shopping with my mum
he goes to gay pride and shags on the side
he always takes it up the bum
Give grant a reach around and he'll wear a leotard
he'll wear spandex and spank it
cos hes a puff he wont get up the duff
even if you cum in his bum!
Hes a financial advisor who will give me a fiver
but the bonus will go to Mr.Mcguiver
cos he has lube and is more fun!
this is my rhyme, for which I'll get a fine
for homophobic and offensive posts
but I don't give a s
te cos I'll have a tight bum hole that isn't full of cum!
I know it doesn't rhyme anywhere but in my head, and is probably going to get me bannned from PH
but I hope you find it as funny as I did!!
Petrolhead_Rich said:
Sabz86 said:
I have to come up with a poem that starts with 'I like working with Grant because...'
GTIR said:
Roses are red violets are blue
I like it up the arse and Grant does too.
Doesn't start with the correct line!!I like it up the arse and Grant does too.
Here's my s
te attempt!!I like working with Grant because...
He never looks down my tops
He's as gay as Graham Norton
but hasn't f
ked my daughterinstead he had my son up the bum!
Grant is a puff, he likes it up the chuff
He doesn't like women because they cant f
k himand he likes shopping with my mum
he goes to gay pride and shags on the side
he always takes it up the bum
Give grant a reach around and he'll wear a leotard
he'll wear spandex and spank it
cos hes a puff he wont get up the duff
even if you cum in his bum!
Hes a financial advisor who will give me a fiver
but the bonus will go to Mr.Mcguiver
cos he has lube and is more fun!
this is my rhyme, for which I'll get a fine
for homophobic and offensive posts
but I don't give a s
te cos I'll have a tight bum hole that isn't full of cum!
I know it doesn't rhyme anywhere but in my head, and is probably going to get me bannned from PH
but I hope you find it as funny as I did!!
Smiler. said:
I like working with Grant because,
He's smart & sells a lot.
All day long he eats kids sweets,
And takes the target shot.
He's eloquent & dresses well,
The office is all a twitter.
And come the end of a long hard day,
He goes to bed with a Horlicks.
Ooo! I like this one too!!!!! He's smart & sells a lot.
All day long he eats kids sweets,
And takes the target shot.
He's eloquent & dresses well,
The office is all a twitter.
And come the end of a long hard day,
He goes to bed with a Horlicks.
Thanksoilandwater said:
I like working with Grant beacuse he's gay
I hope that I'll have his job one day.
Sells investments and pensions for money,
Never eats carbs, has a silver spoon for his honey.
His back pack is black
His moods can be too,
Life cover and illness
Come with free Haribo.
Some of these are really good! Thanks guys! I hope that I'll have his job one day.
Sells investments and pensions for money,
Never eats carbs, has a silver spoon for his honey.
His back pack is black
His moods can be too,
Life cover and illness
Come with free Haribo.
I like working with Grant because.....
He loves Judy Garland in the wizard of Oz
He doesn't eat carbs so is light on his loafers
He's kind to his pets and likes hamsters and gophers
He works very hard with barely a stoppage
He would sell a house but never a cottage
He makes a good living from bonds and shares
He shares all his bonds with Nigel upstairs
He acts kinda posh, loves his salmon and dill
But the gardening he does is always uphill
His life's on his back as he's always on the go
and his friends all go mad for his haribo
HTH
He loves Judy Garland in the wizard of Oz
He doesn't eat carbs so is light on his loafers
He's kind to his pets and likes hamsters and gophers
He works very hard with barely a stoppage
He would sell a house but never a cottage
He makes a good living from bonds and shares
He shares all his bonds with Nigel upstairs
He acts kinda posh, loves his salmon and dill
But the gardening he does is always uphill
His life's on his back as he's always on the go
and his friends all go mad for his haribo
HTH
chukka64 said:
I like working with Grant because.....
He loves Judy Garland in the wizard of Oz
He doesn't eat carbs so is light on his loafers
He's kind to his pets and likes hamsters and gophers
He works very hard with barely a stoppage
He would sell a house but never a cottage
He makes a good living from bonds and shares
He shares all his bonds with Nigel upstairs
He acts kinda posh, loves his salmon and dill
But the gardening he does is always uphill
His life's on his back as he's always on the go
and his friends all go mad for his haribo
HTH
OMG! That's sooo good! Thank you! Will thank you all at the next Sunday show!He loves Judy Garland in the wizard of Oz
He doesn't eat carbs so is light on his loafers
He's kind to his pets and likes hamsters and gophers
He works very hard with barely a stoppage
He would sell a house but never a cottage
He makes a good living from bonds and shares
He shares all his bonds with Nigel upstairs
He acts kinda posh, loves his salmon and dill
But the gardening he does is always uphill
His life's on his back as he's always on the go
and his friends all go mad for his haribo
HTH
I like working with Grant as hes a real chum,
Give him lots of Haribo to stop him doing you up the bum.
Sales, investments, Life Cover, Critical Illness too.
You will never see his backpack covered in dog poo.
From Branch to branch in his damn posh shoes.
8ozs of carbs a day will doo.
So this is my poem of why i like grant,
Give me my bonus you cosh punt.
Give him lots of Haribo to stop him doing you up the bum.
Sales, investments, Life Cover, Critical Illness too.
You will never see his backpack covered in dog poo.
From Branch to branch in his damn posh shoes.
8ozs of carbs a day will doo.
So this is my poem of why i like grant,
Give me my bonus you cosh punt.
Boosterdq said:
I like working with Grant as hes a real chum,
Give him lots of Haribo to stop him doing you up the bum.
Sales, investments, Life Cover, Critical Illness too.
You will never see his backpack covered in dog poo.
From Branch to branch in his damn posh shoes.
8ozs of carbs a day will doo.
So this is my poem of why i like grant,
Give me my bonus you cosh punt.
Hahaha!!! I actually laughed out loud!Give him lots of Haribo to stop him doing you up the bum.
Sales, investments, Life Cover, Critical Illness too.
You will never see his backpack covered in dog poo.
From Branch to branch in his damn posh shoes.
8ozs of carbs a day will doo.
So this is my poem of why i like grant,
Give me my bonus you cosh punt.
Sabz86 said:
Some of these are really good! Thanks guys!
Sorry, I'm crap at poems, so went for stty toilet humour, it got one laugh, so I'm Happy, good luck with the poem, seems like a gay way to get a bonus at work.Still think it would be funny to have something about him not eyeing you up, would get a laugh in any office!!
My second (shorter, more serious) attempt:
I like working with Grant because,
he is the most interesting boss,
He eats Sweets but not meat,
He's tweets with his feet,
And carries a bag full of stuff.
Grant is a puff full of great stuff,
he never asks for that, except from his chaps,
who he is more than happy to have,
he watches his carbs, and flexes his arms,
he will give me the bonus, and with it the onus,
of investing our customers cash.
I was so desperate for the raise, i was so phased,
I posted "DAMSIL IN DISTRESS",
The Pistonheads forum, in their infinite wisdom,
they gave me a poem to read,
but if I had read it, grant would have said it,
your fired, now f
k off.Edited by Petrolhead_Rich on Tuesday 3rd August 21:58
Smiler. said:
I like working with Grant because,
He's smart & sells a lot.
All day long he eats kids sweets,
And takes the target shot.
He's eloquent & dresses well,
The office is all a twitter.
And come the end of a long hard day,
He goes to bed with a Horlicks.
He's smart & sells a lot.
All day long he eats kids sweets,
And takes the target shot.
He's eloquent & dresses well,
The office is all a twitter.
And come the end of a long hard day,
He goes to bed with a Horlicks.
I see what you did there!Twitter and Horlicks rhyme excellent
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