Cheating wife - what to do?

[julian64]

Davey S2 said:

julian64 said:

There IS NO WRONG IN MARRIAGE.

What a load of b0ll0cks.

Seems to be yet another example of people not willing to hold their hands up and take some responsibility for their own actions.

No its trying to explain that the marriage contract is not as simple as the 'You don't cheat, and I wont cheat.'

That isn't the definition of a successful marriage. 'their own actions' as you put it are a consequence of the partnership.

Your ability to define responsibilty as one persons, or anothers is at the heart of a lot of unsucessful marriages. Its as if they have the marriage paperwork but never actually understood what marriage is.

[SeeFive]

julian64 said:

No its trying to explain that the marriage contract is not as simple as the 'You don't cheat, and I wont cheat.'

That isn't the definition of a successful marriage. 'their own actions' as you put it are a consequence of the partnership.

Your ability to define responsibilty as one persons, or anothers is at the heart of a lot of unsucessful marriages. Its as if they have the marriage paperwork but never actually understood what marriage is.

This.

So the process is:
1) A self-analysis of how likely is the OP to ever recover from this betrayal without constant nagging doubts or throwing it in her face all the time.
2) Realising now just how close this lady came to destroying her family life, how likely is she to resolve to never do such a thing again, and keep to it?
3) Should there be drivers from the OP that has had implications on her recent actions, how likely is he to be able to easily and painlessly resolve those life/behavioural problems form his side.
4) How can communication be improved in the marriage in order that these issues can be nipped in the bud in future - the ability to express dissatisfaction or unhappiness as it arises, without arguments, just discussion and resolutions.

Then, it is a test of time, commitment and open communication, bringing about trust and a proper relationship.

I reckon that it can be achieved, but as said earlier, both parties need to want it soooo badly, and want to prove it in action.

[R500POP]

fesuvious said:

and the ability to get the thought out of his head every time he kisses her that she very recently had another blokes todger in there

My biggest worry would be "going down south" and ending up with a load of another blokes custard in my mouth.

Edited by R500POP on Friday 30th September 14:19

[hollydog]

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .I had it done to me 15yars ago . Had great pleasure kicker her out on a thursday morning and f--king the a-- of another gal thursday night . Had 3 years of happy happy times . Happy married now . But what we don,t no doesn,t hurt us . Cheating is going on every where. either turn a blind eye or kick her out . You look after the child make her pay maintenance.

[justayellowbadge]

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .

bks.

[hollydog]

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .

bks.

fact of life .

[KrazyIvan]

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat

I am afraid your on your own with that, I have had the opportunity and not taken it out, of respect for my wife, and as much for myself.

Edited by KrazyIvan on Friday 30th September 14:40

[justayellowbadge]

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .

bks.

fact of life .

Yours perhaps.

Don't tar everyone by your own non-existent standards.

[hollydog]

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .

bks.

fact of life .

Yours perhaps.

Don't tar everyone by your own non-existent standards.

I repeat myself again I HAD IT DONE TO ME . Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it . But it is a fact that its going off every where . If it wasn,t they wouldn,t be a tread on it .

[justayellowbadge]

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

[hollydog]

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

IS THAT AN OFFER . To be honest mmm . no . not for the lack of offers .

[MoonMonkey]

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

You could start a whole new thread for a question like that..!!

Good luck to the OP though, hope it all works out.

[justayellowbadge]

hollydog said:

Lets face it if we could get away with it we all would cheat .

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

To be honest mmm . no

I'm confused. Are you violently agreeing with me?

[hollydog]

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

IS THAT AN OFFER . To be honest mmm . no . not for the lack of offers .

just to much hassle . Get enough of that of the one i have all ready he he.

[M@verick]

hollydog said:

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

IS THAT AN OFFER . To be honest mmm . no . not for the lack of offers .

just to much hassle . Get enough of that of the one i have all ready he he.

I have to say this exchange confuses me.

R.

[sleep envy]

mental meter off the scale

[Davey S2]

julian64 said:

Davey S2 said:

julian64 said:

There IS NO WRONG IN MARRIAGE.

What a load of b0ll0cks.

Seems to be yet another example of people not willing to hold their hands up and take some responsibility for their own actions.

No its trying to explain that the marriage contract is not as simple as the 'You don't cheat, and I wont cheat.'

That isn't the definition of a successful marriage. 'their own actions' as you put it are a consequence of the partnership.

Your ability to define responsibilty as one persons, or anothers is at the heart of a lot of unsucessful marriages. Its as if they have the marriage paperwork but never actually understood what marriage is.

But that should be a given. If its not and you can't understand such a simple concept then you shouldnt have got married in the first place.

Having a partner who cant / wont commit the time and energy required to make a relationship work doesnt mean that the other person can just go off and screw someone else. Thats their decision and they will have to deal with the consequences.

For the OP it still boils down to the question of whether he can firstly forgive her and then learn to live with what she did without it slowly festering deep down inside him for years.

[john_r]

M@verick said:

hollydog said:

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

IS THAT AN OFFER . To be honest mmm . no . not for the lack of offers .

just to much hassle . Get enough of that of the one i have all ready he he.

I have to say this exchange confuses me.

R.

I think jyb was testing hollydog's commitment, but hollydog took that as an offer of some man on man action. Hollydog then pointed out that he gets offered man on man action all the time, so therefore no thanks. However, I think the reference to 'he he' might mean that hollydog has two 'he' partners already?

As I said, this is just my thoughts based on what was written?

HTH

[hollydog]

john_r said:

M@verick said:

hollydog said:

hollydog said:

justayellowbadge said:

hollydog said:

Iam happly married and i wouldn,t do it .

But you would if you could get away with it?

IS THAT AN OFFER . To be honest mmm . no . not for the lack of offers .

just to much hassle . Get enough of that of the one i have all ready he he.

I have to say this exchange confuses me.

R.

I think jyb was testing hollydog's commitment, but hollydog took that as an offer of some man on man action. Hollydog then pointed out that he gets offered man on man action all the time, so therefore no thanks. However, I think the reference to 'he he' might mean that hollydog has two 'he' partners already?

As I said, this is just my thoughts based on what was written?

HTH

Its Amazing how things can be read so wrong the offer bit was a joke .( Butt )i am an ass man but its got to be firmly actached to my misses thanks

[justayellowbadge]

I'm just going to guess that we shouldn't take the mickey because you're actually, really, seriously, a doctor told me, dyslexic, not just thick and a bit mental?