Appalling Flatulence
Discussion
Timely thread resurrection, ‘‘tis the season to be jolly’ that is a jolly good blow off following that Christmas Day lunch. Be sure to enjoy those brussels spouts for maximum appeal Boxing Day.
The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
crankedup said:
Timely thread resurrection, ‘‘tis the season to be jolly’ that is a jolly good blow off following that Christmas Day lunch. Be sure to enjoy those brussels spouts for maximum appeal Boxing Day.
The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
In that case it's Christmas every day in our house....The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
talksthetorque said:
crankedup said:
Timely thread resurrection, ‘‘tis the season to be jolly’ that is a jolly good blow off following that Christmas Day lunch. Be sure to enjoy those brussels spouts for maximum appeal Boxing Day.
The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
In that case it's Christmas every day in our house....The King of Wind returns, or, should you prefer, the Prince of Puff. Either way be sure to spread your ‘merriment’ far and wide.
Whilst returning this morning from a drinking session at my mates house in the Cotswolds, we had to stop and wait in the snow while some people who couldn't drive were towed up a hill. I was driving my misses Pug 207, which has nice new winter tyres on the front, so wasn't having any real bothers.
Whilst stood waiting, some middle-class tart was being very vocal about "idiots out in this without a four-wheel drive".
So I dropped one... big one... silent but violent... heavy notes of raging drinking sesh, with bass notes of last nights thai curry, and a lingering finish of rotten innards.
The look on her face was priceless.
Flatulence as a weapon, when used judiciously, is very satisfying.
Whilst stood waiting, some middle-class tart was being very vocal about "idiots out in this without a four-wheel drive".
So I dropped one... big one... silent but violent... heavy notes of raging drinking sesh, with bass notes of last nights thai curry, and a lingering finish of rotten innards.
The look on her face was priceless.
Flatulence as a weapon, when used judiciously, is very satisfying.
glenrobbo said:
grumpy52 said:
Where ere you be let your wind blow free !
Church or chapel let it rattle!
Spice chicken with peppers in pitta bread for tea mixed with my meds and god it's ripe in here !
Better dose the place with air freshner .
2/10 Church or chapel let it rattle!
Spice chicken with peppers in pitta bread for tea mixed with my meds and god it's ripe in here !
Better dose the place with air freshner .
The last two lines don't scan.
Church or chapel let it rattle
Farting like a herd of cattle.
Just push one out and let it fly
As you wave your pants goodbye.
Edited by nonsequitur on Monday 11th December 19:05
Edited by nonsequitur on Monday 11th December 19:05
nonsequitur said:
Where ere you be let your wind blow free
Church or chapel let it rattle
Farting like a herd of cattle.
Just push one out and let it fly
As you wave your pants goodbye.
Farting is a pleasureChurch or chapel let it rattle
Farting like a herd of cattle.
Just push one out and let it fly
As you wave your pants goodbye.
it brings the bowels ease
it warms and scents the bed clothes
and fumigates the fleas.
J4CKO said:
Cross trainer at the gym the other day, let a little bit sneak out, oh my good god 
Its hard to hold one in when you're exercising.My best moment was on a plane. Normally I'm the kind of person who'll try to hold it in or at least release it in the lav rather than cropdust rows 28 to 36, but not on this fateful night. Flight AX233 from Kuala Lumpur to Perth. Everyone was annoying me, recliner in front who wouldn't sit still, seat kicker behind, bogan women cackling like witches as they consume a bottle of duty free.
So I decided, f
k it, I'll be more comfortable if I just let it out. I was hoping for something silent but deadly, instead I got a multi-tonal arseblast that resembled the trombone sequence in Sweet Caroline and was easily heard over the noise of a A330. I at least got the deadly part, the aforementioned bogans stopped cackling. Felt quite satisfied with myself on that occasion.csd19 said:
bucks said:
Time for this thread to return, I was reminded of it in the Juvenile Things thread
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
That's brilliant, sitting here trying to read it out to the missus, tears rolling down my cheeks and I can't breathe with the laughter...
I am sat here literally crying with laughter.
Outstanding.
captain_cynic said:
J4CKO said:
Cross trainer at the gym the other day, let a little bit sneak out, oh my good god
Its hard to hold one in when you're exercising.My best moment was on a plane. Normally I'm the kind of person who'll try to hold it in or at least release it in the lav rather than cropdust rows 28 to 36, but not on this fateful night. Flight AX233 from Kuala Lumpur to Perth. Everyone was annoying me, recliner in front who wouldn't sit still, seat kicker behind, bogan women cackling like witches as they consume a bottle of duty free.
So I decided, f
k it, I'll be more comfortable if I just let it out. I was hoping for something silent but deadly, instead I got a multi-tonal arseblast that resembled the trombone sequence in Sweet Caroline and was easily heard over the noise of a A330. I at least got the deadly part, the aforementioned bogans stopped cackling. Felt quite satisfied with myself on that occasion.k this and mention it when the guard comes round, he tells her to move and I sit down, they are all sat (and stood) glowering at me, I am reading my book but can feel their hatred.Anyway, I had eaten a large Sunday dinner and had a couple of pints, was in a don't give a toss mood and they had been really ignorant, I felt the need and panicked a bit, but thought I would just let rip, it was a belter, hot, rich and plentiful.
They make a fuss as it hits them, I just looked up from my book and give them a look like I was disgusted, I really wanted to howl with laughter, bunch of w
kers, hope it clung to their clothes.FlyingMeeces said:
csd19 said:
bucks said:
Time for this thread to return, I was reminded of it in the Juvenile Things thread
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
That's brilliant, sitting here trying to read it out to the missus, tears rolling down my cheeks and I can't breathe with the laughter...
I am sat here literally crying with laughter.
Outstanding.
Coming back from a work's Xmas do one year, after consuming copious amounts of alcohoI and rich foods, dozed off on the train home.
The next thing I remember is a combination of memory and observed by my other half at the time when I farted with such volume,depth and timbre that I woke myself up and it's duration was sufficient that I became aware of it continuing after I woke.
To cap it off, it's odious nature caused gagging and a vacating of seats in the immediate vicinity and in my inebriated state I was unable to mask it's source as I burst into a fit of giggles which released another toot each time my body shook.
The next thing I remember is a combination of memory and observed by my other half at the time when I farted with such volume,depth and timbre that I woke myself up and it's duration was sufficient that I became aware of it continuing after I woke.
To cap it off, it's odious nature caused gagging and a vacating of seats in the immediate vicinity and in my inebriated state I was unable to mask it's source as I burst into a fit of giggles which released another toot each time my body shook.
csd19 said:
bucks said:
Time for this thread to return, I was reminded of it in the Juvenile Things thread
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
That's brilliant, sitting here trying to read it out to the missus, tears rolling down my cheeks and I can't breathe with the laughter...
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