Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Impasse]

I was helping Arnie refurbish his old laptop the other day. We were discussing his choice of operating systems when he told me "It has to be Vista, baby".

[Vipers]

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

[Hugo a Gogo]

Vipers said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

Are you winding me up?

[Halmyre]

Impasse said:

"It has to be Vista, baby".

...said nobody, ever...

[Laurel Green]

K12beano said:

Phew!

That ordeal over for another year.

Always tense on Fathers Day in case any cards start arriving.

Thought it was only me.

[vixen1700]

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

[Monkeylegend]

I told my wife her boobs were getting smaller, she looked deflated.

[AstonZagato]

Hugo a Gogo said:

Vipers said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

Are you winding me up?

There are so many complications in a job like that. You have to be good with your hands for a start.

[Caruso]

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

You're well off out of there - you had a lucky escapement.

[Hugo a Gogo]

My automatic response was to hold my hands up and admit it. I was strapped for cash though, and anyway I don't want to tock about it

[schmunk]

Dear Hugo

All the best in your new role.

X

[Vipers]

Little Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to read the paper.

The family dog was lying on the carpet and as the screeching sounds of little Hope's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up and yelled above the noise, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"

[MartG]

[Alex]

AstonZagato said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Vipers said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

Are you winding me up?

There are so many complications in a job like that. You have to be good with your hands for a start.

Well, he did just sit around making faces all day.

[mickk]

Alex said:

AstonZagato said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Vipers said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

Are you winding me up?

There are so many complications in a job like that. You have to be good with your hands for a start.

Well, he did just sit around making faces all day.

I'll second that.

[Vipers]

mickk said:

Alex said:

AstonZagato said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Vipers said:

Hugo a Gogo said:

Can't believe I just lost my job at the watch factory.

After all those extra hours I put in

Well as they say "When your times up, your times up".

Are you winding me up?

There are so many complications in a job like that. You have to be good with your hands for a start.

Well, he did just sit around making faces all day.

I'll second that.

I am sure there is another joke out there, take your time lads, I may have something in a minute.

[Laurel Green]

Vipers said:

I am sure there is another joke out there, take your time lads, I may have something in a minute.

Ten to one you don't!

[silverfoxcc]

My mate got the sack because he had a facial tick

[Vipers]

Laurel Green said:

Vipers said:

I am sure there is another joke out there, take your time lads, I may have something in a minute.

Ten to one you don't!

You got that one in just in time. . I'll be watching out for you later.

[Laurel Green]