You know you're an idiot when...
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SpeckledJim said:
bongtom said:
SpeckledJim said:
bongtom said:
>Sigh< My username is not a drug reference. Bong means older person in Cambodian and tom (thom) means big, it's a derogatory word for a wannabe ganster.
Anyhoo. We got a lot of trucks pulling up in that area so I never noticed another, even if it was unloading!
My manager was dealing with it. (oddly I popped into that same garage about 25 years later at the same manager was there although he owned the franchise!
I think the >sigh< is a bit much. Anyhoo. We got a lot of trucks pulling up in that area so I never noticed another, even if it was unloading!
My manager was dealing with it. (oddly I popped into that same garage about 25 years later at the same manager was there although he owned the franchise!
You're posting in English on a British website with a username that makes complete sense as a drug reference in English.
If it looks like a horse and sounds like a horse it's unlikely to be a Cambodian zebra.
Thanks for your off topic input.
Right.
Maybe you should smoke some.
PositronicRay said:
hidetheelephants said:
bongtom said:
I worked night shift at a BP petrol station in my youth. About 2am a guy walks in mooches around the shop (it was one of the first big BP store types) and comes up to the counter with a sandwich and coke.
"Any petrol?" I ask
"Eh?" he says
"Petrol, P-E-T-R-O-L" (it was a long night)
"Yeah, about 30,000 liters mate"
Turns out he was the tanker driver who had just done a delivery, but I never looked up to see the paperwork in his hand.
I felt like a bell.
"Any petrol?" I ask
"Eh?" he says
"Petrol, P-E-T-R-O-L" (it was a long night)
"Yeah, about 30,000 liters mate"
Turns out he was the tanker driver who had just done a delivery, but I never looked up to see the paperwork in his hand.
I felt like a bell.
How did you not notice a HGV pull onto the forecourt, connect up to the storage tanks and empty itself?The driver did have a chuckle to himself.
Rang up the car insurance broker I use for a number of limited mileage cars to advise of a change to the family barge.
Very polite lady says " we've given you a quote for that car but you didn't accept it"
That'll be why I haven't any email from them, just policy & cover note from a different company I'd used off confused.
Guess I'm the confused idiot.
Very polite lady says " we've given you a quote for that car but you didn't accept it"
That'll be why I haven't any email from them, just policy & cover note from a different company I'd used off confused.
Guess I'm the confused idiot.
Richard-390a0 said:
I struggle to believe someone can be that dumb. I mean there's dumb, and then there's dumb. New account too. It's got trolling around written over it imo.Edit: not a new account, but looks like someone's secondary sleeper account to troll from.
I've been all around the world, visited dozens of countries, thousands of locations. I know it all!
Except......
A couple of weeks ago we travelled to Cyprus for a holiday. I thought to myself that's Greece, I've been there and they use euro plugs. So, I brought along quite a few, to plug my various phone/ipad power leads into. I was well prepared.
Except......
Cyprus uses British plugs. I'd left my UK lead adapters at home.
Except......
A couple of weeks ago we travelled to Cyprus for a holiday. I thought to myself that's Greece, I've been there and they use euro plugs. So, I brought along quite a few, to plug my various phone/ipad power leads into. I was well prepared.
Except......
Cyprus uses British plugs. I'd left my UK lead adapters at home.
Going back some years in December I went to the travel agent to pay for a ski holiday and stopped at the post box to drop off the Christmas cards. Arrived at the TA and couldn't find the envelope with £2000 cash in it. You've guessed it - it was in the post box with the cards. Luckily the collection wasn't for another hour so I hung about and persuaded the postie to let me retrieve it, but it was against the rules and I had fess up why it was so important. She clearly thought I was a grade 1 plonker.
Mine from today…. I’ve been waiting for a small package to turn for over a week, having ordered a few things roughly the same size, a bit of paracord and a some titanium wire, roughly the same diameter.
At the beginning of last week 2 parcels turn up, and I give them a quick feel and mentally heck them off as turned up… get to last weekend and I’m getting miffed as the paracord hasn’t turned up and I wanted it for a project over the weekend. Was waiting for the postie to turn up today and then was going to mail the seller asking where it had got too.
Postie turns up today and delivers a package containing the titanium wire…
Yup, you’ve guessed it… the paracord has been here since about Wednesday
At the beginning of last week 2 parcels turn up, and I give them a quick feel and mentally heck them off as turned up… get to last weekend and I’m getting miffed as the paracord hasn’t turned up and I wanted it for a project over the weekend. Was waiting for the postie to turn up today and then was going to mail the seller asking where it had got too.
Postie turns up today and delivers a package containing the titanium wire…
Yup, you’ve guessed it… the paracord has been here since about Wednesday
You know you're an idiot when you struggle to remove the broken exhaust off your son's Clio 182.
The sleeved joint just would not separate so the blowtorch was brought into use but was impossible to remove.
Ended up managing to remove the whole exhaust in one piece from over the rear beam and then tried to split again on the garage floor.
Guess which part I decided to hold to try and turn the exhaust over after getting the sleeved joint cherry red........
The sleeved joint just would not separate so the blowtorch was brought into use but was impossible to remove.
Ended up managing to remove the whole exhaust in one piece from over the rear beam and then tried to split again on the garage floor.
Guess which part I decided to hold to try and turn the exhaust over after getting the sleeved joint cherry red........
Edited by nessiemac on Monday 10th July 21:12
Not me, but the wife, we decided a nice short break to Niagara on the lake was in order, so wife booked a nice hotel, we drive down there, spend a lovely day visiting the various wineries and breweries, then as it was getting late, made our way to the hotel, presented ourselves at reception, only to be told they had no booking, cue my wife remonstrating with them, insisting they had made a mistake.
At this point I pull her aside and get her to check the email confirmation…..turns out she had indeed made a reservation, for the next weekend! The hotel were very gracious and managed to find room for us that night, and they managed to not snigger too much, guess who double checks hotel reservations for their wife now?
At this point I pull her aside and get her to check the email confirmation…..turns out she had indeed made a reservation, for the next weekend! The hotel were very gracious and managed to find room for us that night, and they managed to not snigger too much, guess who double checks hotel reservations for their wife now?
We caught the train down to Wembley from MK, all dressed up in our NFL regalia ready for the London game, can’t remember the teams who were playing. We walked up the high street from the tube station towards the stadium. There were a few other NFL fans around but not as many as there usually is but we were very early. We walked up to the stadium, along the hoardings advertising the match, reading the details we realised we had arrived one week too early.
One day just before Christmas a few years ago I decided to go into town which is only a fifteen minute walk.
In town visited many shops,met several friends and various family members then scoured every car park looking for my car . Finally resigned to myself that the car had been nicked and actually had my phone in hand to report it to the police when the truth dawned!
Called myself some very choice names on the walk home.
In town visited many shops,met several friends and various family members then scoured every car park looking for my car . Finally resigned to myself that the car had been nicked and actually had my phone in hand to report it to the police when the truth dawned!
Called myself some very choice names on the walk home.
nessiemac said:
You know you're an idiot when you struggle to remove the broken exhaust off your son's Clio 182.
The sleeved joint just would not separate so the blowtorch was brought into use but was impossible to remove.
Ended up managing to remove the whole exhaust in one piece from over the rear beam and then tried to split again on the garage floor.
Guess which part I decided to hold to try and turn the exhaust over after getting the sleeved joint cherry red........
I'll sympathise with that one, mainly because last week i made a tool to de-tension the timing belt on my Honda by welding a chopped-down socket onto a length of steel bar. Went right round with the MIG, then picked it up to check the welds. Put it down very quickly.The sleeved joint just would not separate so the blowtorch was brought into use but was impossible to remove.
Ended up managing to remove the whole exhaust in one piece from over the rear beam and then tried to split again on the garage floor.
Guess which part I decided to hold to try and turn the exhaust over after getting the sleeved joint cherry red........
Edited by nessiemac on Monday 10th July 21:12
On the plus side, the home made tool worked a treat
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