Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 10ish)
Discussion
Ultra Sound Guy said:
MarkwG said:
Thanks... I know more about golf now, than I ever wanted to...Never found a game where people gift you a win before, every day is a school day!
A gimme is one of those nice little gestures that golf (played in the right spirit) is full of.
Making an opponent hole a 12 inch putt can be viewed as a little bit disrespectful, and aggressively competitive. There's almost zero chance of him not making it, so giving it is a nice thing to do, at no cost to yourself.
There can also a bit of psychology and gamesmanship around it, as if you give a competitor a longer putt (one he might realistically miss if forced to play it), then he might feel pressured into returning that favour later in the game, when it might be a bit more important...
Poor putters (such as myself) tend to be a bit more generous with their gimmes, as they like getting them back!
Bernie Ecclestone was talking to his doctor.
B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
SpeckledJim said:
Off thread now:
A gimme is one of those nice little gestures that golf (played in the right spirit) is full of.
Making an opponent hole a 12 inch putt can be viewed as a little bit disrespectful, and aggressively competitive. There's almost zero chance of him not making it, so giving it is a nice thing to do, at no cost to yourself.
There can also a bit of psychology and gamesmanship around it, as if you give a competitor a longer putt (one he might realistically miss if forced to play it), then he might feel pressured into returning that favour later in the game, when it might be a bit more important...
Poor putters (such as myself) tend to be a bit more generous with their gimmes, as they like getting them back!
Please stop A gimme is one of those nice little gestures that golf (played in the right spirit) is full of.
Making an opponent hole a 12 inch putt can be viewed as a little bit disrespectful, and aggressively competitive. There's almost zero chance of him not making it, so giving it is a nice thing to do, at no cost to yourself.
There can also a bit of psychology and gamesmanship around it, as if you give a competitor a longer putt (one he might realistically miss if forced to play it), then he might feel pressured into returning that favour later in the game, when it might be a bit more important...
Poor putters (such as myself) tend to be a bit more generous with their gimmes, as they like getting them back!
- I can feel my trousers turning tartan... 
!808 Estate said:
Bernie Ecclestone was talking to his doctor.
B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
It was done better exactly a week ago.B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
Doofus said:
808 Estate said:
Bernie Ecclestone was talking to his doctor.
B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
It was done better exactly a week ago.B - Hey! I just became a father again at the age of 89. What do you say to that?
Dr - Last year I went hunting bears with some friends. On the second day I saw a huge male grizzly about forty feet away. As quietly as I could I raised my rifle and BANG! One shot straight through the heart. I couldn't have been more pleased. Then I realised I'd actually been holding my walking pole instead of my rifle. Yet the bear was still dead. How do you think that happened?
B - Obviously somebody else shot the bear.
Dr - Exactly
A banjo player on his way to a gig pulls into a café for a coffee. 10 minutes later he realised that he had left his priceless instrument on the back seat for all to see. Panicked he rushes out to his car and the back window is smashed to pieces. He looks inside to find someone has left him another one...
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff