Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Halmyre]

Evangelion said:

It's a palm, but where does the date bit come in?




[/pedant]

Madam palm and her five sweet daughters...

[phazed]

And a cheap date it was too.

[Robster]

[Robster]

How many eggs does a Frenchman have for breakfast?

One, because in France one egg is Un Oeuf

[Ultra Sound Guy]

I've just joined an organisation to encourage farmers to breed real geese. They're called Proper Gander!

[Kenty]

[Frimley111R]

[The Dangerous Elk]

lost me on the |Cranke one ?

[Vaud]

The Dangerous Elk said:

lost me on the |Cranke one ?

All of the contestants in the mocked up graphic were/are prominent paedophiles, etc.

[The Dangerous Elk]

ahhh, woods and trees

[steveT350C]

- My wife is going to the Caribbean.


- Jamaica?


- No, the Home Office did.

[Halmyre]

steveT350C said:

- My wife is going to the Caribbean.


- Jamaica?


- No, the Home Office did.

Well done, sir. I'd give you a medal but I can't find the paperwork.

[phazed]

Halmyre said:

steveT350C said:

- My wife is going to the Caribbean.


- Jamaica?


- No, the Home Office did.

Well done, sir. I'd give you a medal but I can't find the paperwork.

Very good

[mickk]

The wife walked into the lounge last night after getting ready for a night out with her mates and she asked me to rate her looks.

'8 or 9 at least' I said

'Out of 10?' she smiled 'Thanks babe I'm really flattered'

Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints!

[Laurel Green]

^^^ ^^^

[Evangelion]

Vaud said:

The Dangerous Elk said:

lost me on the |Cranke one ?

All of the contestants in the mocked up graphic were/are prominent paedophiles, etc.

The dreaded Thumbsnap Joke Blocker strikes again!

[StevieBee]

Mate of mine keeps telling me how much he dislikes Formula E.

Honestly....it's just whine, whine, whine with him.

[Ultra Sound Guy]

Starbucks are closing all their American stores until everyone of their staff have learned the phrase "I'm sorry sir/ma'am, we can't serve you black coffee, would you like one without milk?"

[Overall D]

Had a slow day at work yesterday

[mickk]

People say masturbation is better with a dead arm.

Apparently I ruined that funeral.