Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
TheLordJohn said:
Don't know where I read it but it's rather accurate - 'The problem with marriage is women expect men to change and men expect women not to change'.
Oddly enough it was Albert Einstein that said:
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
TheLordJohn said:
I'll start slowly dropping bits into conversations, here and there.
But, honestly, the slightest mention of a criticism or 'another point of view' is met with absolute hostility.
Don't back down.But, honestly, the slightest mention of a criticism or 'another point of view' is met with absolute hostility.
Point out the inequality in what little she does and make it clear that you are only replying to her criticism.
You can't beat the mental but you can tame it (a bit).
oldbanger said:
mikefacel said:
Rich_W said:
Do we know if there's any change in divorce rates where the Woman earns significantly more than the Man?
It would be worth also looking at the marriage rates, as it seems women are much less willing to marry a man who earns less than them.My personal experience is that a guy earning less will still want to be treated as the big man with the big job. Empirical evidence shows that men who earn less than their wives do less childcare, housework , cooking etc on averagethan their earning counterparts.
It can feel like being a single parent with a grown up son, to be honest.
I've known she earns more than me from the day we met really (that didn't form part of the reason I was attracted to her, honestly)
When it comes to money etc we're pretty open about stuff. I don't feel emasculated in anyway, in fact I'm really proud how well she's done.
We're not married but it is on the cards so I've not experienced the "change" that people mention although I probably could do a bit more cleaning however I do the stuff she doesn't like doing (bins, dishes etc) and it's balanced well.
Hopefully it doesn't sound too awful but my bestfriend is married to my girlfriends bestfriend and unfortunately they have recently separated and I feel will get messy, we've both discussed there relationship and what we think has gone wrong and both try and avoid the same mistakes.
I think the secret is to be completely open and honest even if it is a little awkward or upsetting.
I suppose I should post back in 10 years and provide an update!
TheLordJohn said:
ZOLLAR said:
We're not married but it is on the cards
Honestly, as nice as I can put this, just don't bother. It'll be the biggest mistake of your life.
The best that anyone can do is go into it with an open and honest mind and if it doesn't work be grateful that you had the opportunity to take the risk on someone you love rather than live a life thinking "What if?"
ZOLLAR said:
My girlfriend currently earns double what I do.
I've known she earns more than me from the day we met really (that didn't form part of the reason I was attracted to her, honestly)
When it comes to money etc we're pretty open about stuff. I don't feel emasculated in anyway, in fact I'm really proud how well she's done.
We're not married but it is on the cards so I've not experienced the "change" that people mention although I probably could do a bit more cleaning however I do the stuff she doesn't like doing (bins, dishes etc) and it's balanced well.
Hopefully it doesn't sound too awful but my bestfriend is married to my girlfriends bestfriend and unfortunately they have recently separated and I feel will get messy, we've both discussed there relationship and what we think has gone wrong and both try and avoid the same mistakes.
I think the secret is to be completely open and honest even if it is a little awkward or upsetting.
I suppose I should post back in 10 years and provide an update!
I've known she earns more than me from the day we met really (that didn't form part of the reason I was attracted to her, honestly)
When it comes to money etc we're pretty open about stuff. I don't feel emasculated in anyway, in fact I'm really proud how well she's done.
We're not married but it is on the cards so I've not experienced the "change" that people mention although I probably could do a bit more cleaning however I do the stuff she doesn't like doing (bins, dishes etc) and it's balanced well.
Hopefully it doesn't sound too awful but my bestfriend is married to my girlfriends bestfriend and unfortunately they have recently separated and I feel will get messy, we've both discussed there relationship and what we think has gone wrong and both try and avoid the same mistakes.
I think the secret is to be completely open and honest even if it is a little awkward or upsetting.
I suppose I should post back in 10 years and provide an update!
See you in ten, oh Voice of Experience.grumbledoak said:
See you in ten, oh Voice of Experience.
To be fair I've been through some rough s
t with a previous Ex and access to my kids so it's not like I'm all fluffy eyed and full of love.Just very realistic and accepting s
t happens but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.desolate said:
Just because you have got yourself in a state doesn't mean it will be the same for everyone else.
Hahahaha. Okay. For the record, I was sure my girlfriend was different to every other woman. Ignored all my mates who said she'll change.
"Nope, not mine, she's unique".
Guess what...
Look forward to the inevitable her changing and you not.
TheLordJohn said:
Hahahaha. Okay. For the record, I was sure my girlfriend was different to every other woman.
Ignored all my mates who said she'll change.
"Nope, not mine, she's unique".
Guess what...
Look forward to the inevitable her changing and you not.
Yes your situation sounds sIgnored all my mates who said she'll change.
"Nope, not mine, she's unique".
Guess what...
Look forward to the inevitable her changing and you not.
tty.No need to presume it's the same for everyone else, nor that it will turn out the same for every new marriage.
Why don't you leave your Mrs if you are so unhappy and it's beyond redemption?
Sorry to hear the crap you're going through Tonker - for a lawyer paying for your partner's lawyer to attack you must smart a bit too!
It seems the one blessing is that you have missed out on the pain of a your partner having an affair. Having been on the receiving end of that believe me it really messes with your head in a bad way. Even more when due to circumstances and kids you end up staying together in a room mate marriage, what a bag of ste.
It seems the one blessing is that you have missed out on the pain of a your partner having an affair. Having been on the receiving end of that believe me it really messes with your head in a bad way. Even more when due to circumstances and kids you end up staying together in a room mate marriage, what a bag of s
te.TheLordJohn said:
At what point in the marriage does everything you don't do get thrown in your face on a daily basis?
I, personally, feel as if I do quite a lot compared to a lot of men.
However, I don't feel the need to remind my wife that I walk our dog every day (usually more than once), done the washing up, put the dishes away, hoovered up, cleaned the rabbits out etc.
If there's ONE thing she's done that day she finds a way to use it against me in a conversation.
Not to mention the two houses we now own, thanks to me.
I keep all this to myself and just take the st like the bh that I have become...
You started resenting the pets yet? I, personally, feel as if I do quite a lot compared to a lot of men.
However, I don't feel the need to remind my wife that I walk our dog every day (usually more than once), done the washing up, put the dishes away, hoovered up, cleaned the rabbits out etc.
If there's ONE thing she's done that day she finds a way to use it against me in a conversation.
Not to mention the two houses we now own, thanks to me.
I keep all this to myself and just take the s
t like the bh that I have become... Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff