How Solid Really is Your Marriage

[Bobberoo99]

techiedave said:

FocusRS3 said:

techiedave said:

Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests. We give each other space and have time together. I always get a smile on my face when I see her unexpectedly.
We have had 3 wonderful daughters two are doing well in different areas of work. Our other who passed away at a young age.

We have similar humour laugh at similar things.

Dave, you clearly have a wonderful relationship good for you .
Sorry to hear about the passing of one of your children , you are clearly a strong couple .

Thanks for that. You never know whats around the corner when our daughter passed away it was so sudden. Horrible as it sounds we knew it wasn't something that could have been prevented it was an accident and it happened. If we had dwelled on it every waking moment our other daughters would have suffered. I can see though how couples tear themselves apart. Writing that sounds awful and I'm sure some of the clever types on here will be insinuating we don't care etc. But you either deal with what you have been dealt and cope and move on or you destroy what you have left.
As others have said, I too am sorry for your loss, you seem to be dealing with it well and have the right outlook on life.

[meb90]

I've enjoyed reading this thread after the many threads referring to snakes with tits.

I'm not married yet, the big day will be in April, but I have been with my fiance for 5 years and lived with her for 4.5 (I'm 27, she's 30). I'm looking forward to it, we have become each others best friend, and are very much a team. Yes, we have had disagreements, but I think everybody does at times. We've got better at communication though, so they are fewer and further between I've only had 3 relationships, including this one, but I got the feeling that this one was a keeper fairly early on.

On the bank account thing, we have it that we each have our own, but we have a joint current and savings account which we both pay into each month. We pay in different amounts, which is pro-rated for our wages, and whatever's left is our own to play with. Saves me spending it on tat!!

I'd like to think that I'll be able to reply to this thread in 40 years, saying we've been happily married for 40 years

[FocusRS3]

techiedave said:

Thanks for that. You never know whats around the corner when our daughter passed away it was so sudden. Horrible as it sounds we knew it wasn't something that could have been prevented it was an accident and it happened. If we had dwelled on it every waking moment our other daughters would have suffered. I can see though how couples tear themselves apart. Writing that sounds awful and I'm sure some of the clever types on here will be insinuating we don't care etc. But you either deal with what you have been dealt and cope and move on or you destroy what you have left.

Dave I can't think think anyone would ever judge how you deal with your loss. That certainly wouldn't be me and I have the upmost respect of how , clearly, you as a family have dealt with it and continue .

[Eyersey1234]

Sorry to hear about your daughter Dave, how anyone can judge how someone else deals with a blow like that is beyond me.

[lord trumpton]

jonah35 said:

Strange is life eh?

If your wife turns fat and away from the woman you married and became miserable and staid then you’ve gotta stay with her - it’s a hard thing to grasp

How do you know at 25 that you will want to be with, fancy, admire and love your wife at age 60?

You have no idea how your careers will turn out and about all the ups and downs of life or if she gets a job abroad or in a random location that you have to follow her to

I don’t know whether to admire people that are married or think they’re nuts - bit of a dilemma really and I can see both sides of the argument

It’s not for me but I think the honest answer to the question on how solid is your marriage the answer is you don’t know. You may love your wife and think everything is rosy but how do you know she feels the same?! I’m sure today there are thousands of men blissfully unaware that their wife is planning to leave them after Christmas and having an affair

I sound really cynical lol ??

Always look at the mother of the bride to be when prospecting for a wife - Women often turn into their mother.

If the Mother in law is a fat lion then I'd be having doubts about comitting

[Ari]

lord trumpton said:

Always look at the mother of the bride to be when prospecting for a wife - Women often turn into their mother.

If the Mother in law is a fat lion then I'd be having doubts about comitting

And presumably your dad looks like George Clooney?

[Mark Benson]

techiedave said:

Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests.

Just a wild guess here, but the Diane Abbot thing - differing interest?

[Alltrack]

This time last year I thought my marriage was fairly stable albeit with a few issues on both sides.

As of today, the family home has been sold and she is living with her new guy in a house bought with most of the proceeds.
She met him online in April and physically in June. They were both 'unhappy'. There was a lot of retrospective justification for all this from her.

I am renting and see my kids two or three days a week. I won't see them at Christmas.
The decree absolute should come early in the new year.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Ari said:

lord trumpton said:

Always look at the mother of the bride to be when prospecting for a wife - Women often turn into their mother.

If the Mother in law is a fat lion then I'd be having doubts about comitting

And presumably your dad looks like George Clooney?

George from Rainbow more like.

[FocusRS3]

Alltrack said:

This time last year I thought my marriage was fairly stable albeit with a few issues on both sides.

As of today, the family home has been sold and she is living with her new guy in a house bought with most of the proceeds.
She met him online in April and physically in June. They were both 'unhappy'. There was a lot of retrospective justification for all this from her.

I am renting and see my kids two or three days a week. I won't see them at Christmas.
The decree absolute should come early in the new year.

Christ what a difference a year makes as they say !

All the best for the new year

[Rude-boy]

FocusRS3 said:

Christ what a difference a year makes as they say !

All the best for the new year

Not relationshipwise (although both my brother and i have got married this year) but there has been a lot happening in my World in the last year and above all else it has taught me that it really is later than you think and that no matter how sure something seems, or uncertain for that matter, life has a way of making thinks far more 'interesting' than they ever needed or were planned to be.

Or as heard/saw a few months ago "If you wish to make God laugh, tell him your plans."

[FocusRS3]

Rude-boy said:

Not relationshipwise (although both my brother and i have got married this year) but there has been a lot happening in my World in the last year and above all else it has taught me that it really is later than you think and that no matter how sure something seems, or uncertain for that matter,

Very intrigued.......

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Rude-boy said:

Not relationshipwise (although both my brother and i have got married this year)

I didn't even know that was legal, but I hope you'll both be very happy together.

[Rick101]

Alltrack said:

This time last year I thought my marriage was fairly stable albeit with a few issues on both sides.

As of today, the family home has been sold and she is living with her new guy in a house bought with most of the proceeds.
She met him online in April and physically in June. They were both 'unhappy'. There was a lot of retrospective justification for all this from her.

I am renting and see my kids two or three days a week. I won't see them at Christmas.
The decree absolute should come early in the new year.

Sad to hear but it happens all to often.

Interested to know, would it put you off or would you be keen to get married again in future?

Always quite surprised when people say they didn't see it coming, go though stty divorces, but this next one def is the one.....the fourth time round.

[RicksAlfas]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Rude-boy said:

Not relationshipwise (although both my brother and i have got married this year)

I didn't even know that was legal, but I hope you'll both be very happy together.

[Alltrack]

Rick101 said:

Sad to hear but it happens all to often.

Interested to know, would it put you off or would you be keen to get married again in future?

Always quite surprised when people say they didn't see it coming, go though stty divorces, but this next one def is the one.....the fourth time round.

No definitely no more marriage for me. The last one was a mistake (a 17 year one ). I probably can't commit to anything like that ever again.

[mjb1]

lord trumpton said:

Always look at the mother of the bride to be when prospecting for a wife - Women often turn into their mother.

If the Mother in law is a fat lion then I'd be having doubts about comitting

On the other hand, if she ends up fat and ugly she's more likely to be grateful for you, and less likely to run off with her personal trainer...

But when you get to my age, it probably makes more sense to look at her daughter and try and to imagine what your 'prospect' used to look like!

[anonymous-user]

Mark Benson said:

techiedave said:

Our marriage is quite solid./ We have similar interests and differing interests.

Just a wild guess here, but the Diane Abbot thing - differing interest?

It's not something we talk about too much but its possible to separate lust from love

[handpaper]

lord trumpton said:

jonah35 said:

Strange is life eh?

If your wife turns fat and away from the woman you married and became miserable and staid then you’ve gotta stay with her - it’s a hard thing to grasp

Always look at the mother of the bride to be when prospecting for a wife - Women often turn into their mother.

If the Mother in law is a fat lion then I'd be having doubts about committing

I did this - unfortunately she takes after her father in that regard.

Ari said:

And presumably your dad looks like George Clooney?

My dad (just under 24 years between us, I'm 43) has for the last 10-15 years been able to pull off implying that I'm his brother

[FocusRS3]

handpaper said:

My dad (just under 24 years between us, I'm 43) has for the last 10-15 years been able to pull off implying that I'm his brother

Good for him!