Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stoped a biker for speeding, and asked him his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
Triple Crown winner Justify has just turned down an invitation to visit the White House.
Asked why, the Triple Crown winner said "If I wanted to see a horses ass, I would've finished second"
To save you scratching your heads, as I did.
https://eu.usatoday.com/story/sports/2018/06/10/ju...
Asked why, the Triple Crown winner said "If I wanted to see a horses ass, I would've finished second"
To save you scratching your heads, as I did.
https://eu.usatoday.com/story/sports/2018/06/10/ju...
Vipers said:
simoid said:
The joke is a play on Texan accent where imPOtent sounds like important.
I personally like the other version.A Texan was struggling in the bedroom department, so he and his wife decided he should go to the doctors. After getting an appointment, of he trotted to find out what the problem was.
Three hours later, he wandered back in to the house wearing a brand new Stetson and a pair of brand new $750 cowhide boots.
“What did the doctor say honey"
"He said I am impotent, and by golly if I am impotent Ill look impotent"
Shuvi McTupya said:
GloverMart said:
Shuvi McTupya said:
GloverMart said:
GloverMart said:
fatboy18 said:
I picked up a hitchhiker the other day, gave them a lift and dropped them off.
No issues.
Now is there any chance of people actually posting up a Joke instead of all the multi quoting
its getting very tedious
I agree.No issues.
Now is there any chance of people actually posting up a Joke instead of all the multi quoting
its getting very tedious
Worked well though.
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