Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[Plate spinner]

trackdemon said:

FocusRS3 said:

I think there is something very wrong with that age difference

I'm sure he's having fun, but bedding someone young enough to be your daughters younger mate is kinda weird. 70/40 seems odd, but it suits Hollywood. This isn't Hollywood though, and it's not 70/40

We shouldn’t judge though, if it works for those involved then it works.

[FocusRS3]

Plate spinner said:

We shouldn’t judge though, if it works for those involved then it works.

I can’t see it lasting and sounds like the reality of the situation isn’t starting to hit home.

23yr old that wants to party and an ex that’s now gonna bend him over isn’t the life for most 52yr olds.

He’s moved out of a sprawling home into a tiny rented place to be with her.

I must be old fashioned but I don’t find girls that young sexually appealing in the least.

Give me Michelle Mone anyday !

[FocusRS3]

funkyrobot said:

I don't know what is worse in my current predicament. The talk about getting divorced, or the acting like nothing has happened days later.

She said she loves me today and was trying to hug me etc. Weird.

She did call me stoic though as I'm not going for the hugs and the love you comments.

Maybe she’s seeing she’s breaking up the family which is horrible for all concerned.

Certainly doesn’t sound like she has her eye on someone else.

Embrace it , what’s your downside ?

[funkyrobot]

FocusRS3 said:

funkyrobot said:

I don't know what is worse in my current predicament. The talk about getting divorced, or the acting like nothing has happened days later.

She said she loves me today and was trying to hug me etc. Weird.

She did call me stoic though as I'm not going for the hugs and the love you comments.

Maybe she’s seeing she’s breaking up the family which is horrible for all concerned.

Certainly doesn’t sound like she has her eye on someone else.

Embrace it , what’s your downside ?

The years of going around in circles have put me off everything. No doubt in a few days time she will be back to normal blaming me for everything, constantly making my life miserable and then saying the last x amount of years have been a waste of time.

I'm sick of the nice one minute, then absolutely awful the next.

The chat we had the other night was the first mention of the D word. I think it has dawned on her what is happening. She was really taken aback and annoyed with me when she said we should get a divorce and I just said ok.

I simply cannot love someone who treats me so bad. I see it all around me. My mum and dad don't get on at all, despite staying married. My brother has a terrible wife who is awful around him and the kids, and he just puts up with it. There is more to life than being constantly miserable and just putting up with st all of the time.

In relation to the comment about someone else, I simply couldn't care. It would make my life a lot easier if she did have someone else to fk around.

Edit to add - All I care about now is my daughter and not doing anything negative in-front of her. No arguing, no crass words or shouting, nothing.

Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 23 August 18:45

[FocusRS3]

funkyrobot said:

The years of going around in circles have put me off everything. No doubt in a few days time she will be back to normal blaming me for everything, constantly making my life miserable and then saying the last x amount of years have been a waste of time.

I'm sick of the nice one minute, then absolutely awful the next.

The chat we had the other night was the first mention of the D word. I think it has dawned on her what is happening. She was really taken aback and annoyed with me when she said we should get a divorce and I just said ok.

I simply cannot love someone who treats me so bad. I see it all around me. My mum and dad don't get on at all, despite staying married. My brother has a terrible wife who is awful around him and the kids, and he just puts up with it. There is more to life than being constantly miserable and just putting up with st all of the time.

In relation to the comment about someone else, I simply couldn't care. It would make my life a lot easier if she did have someone else to fk around.

Edit to add - All I care about now is my daughter and not doing anything negative in-front of her. No arguing, no crass words or shouting, nothing.

Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 23 August 18:45

If she treats you so bad and your mind is made up then do it for yourself.

Maybe go with a “temporary” split and then access the situation.

Fukit life’s too short

Good luck

[FocusRS3]

Greenmantle said:

bloody hell he has some balls. I'm the same age and I 'm getting grief from friends and family since my current squeeze is 32. The only difference is that my marriage was well and truly done and dusted before I met her.

Don't want to put a dampener on it but I think unless the female is all grown up then I think the relationship won't last. My experience dating for most of this year kinda indicates that early thirties is where the line between woman and girl currently sits.

Still too young for me.

Legal I know but just nah

[Robertj21a]

funkyrobot said:

The years of going around in circles have put me off everything. No doubt in a few days time she will be back to normal blaming me for everything, constantly making my life miserable and then saying the last x amount of years have been a waste of time.

I'm sick of the nice one minute, then absolutely awful the next.

The chat we had the other night was the first mention of the D word. I think it has dawned on her what is happening. She was really taken aback and annoyed with me when she said we should get a divorce and I just said ok.

I simply cannot love someone who treats me so bad. I see it all around me. My mum and dad don't get on at all, despite staying married. My brother has a terrible wife who is awful around him and the kids, and he just puts up with it. There is more to life than being constantly miserable and just putting up with st all of the time.

In relation to the comment about someone else, I simply couldn't care. It would make my life a lot easier if she did have someone else to fk around.

Edit to add - All I care about now is my daughter and not doing anything negative in-front of her. No arguing, no crass words or shouting, nothing.

Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 23 August 18:45

Well said, at least you're maintaining your common sense at a difficult time. At times like this I always remember what some wise old boy told me many years ago - 'You've only got one life, this is not a dress rehearsal' . To me, that means that you have to get on with whatever suits just you, and your daughter.

[Honk]

Robertj21a said:

funkyrobot said:

The years of going around in circles have put me off everything. No doubt in a few days time she will be back to normal blaming me for everything, constantly making my life miserable and then saying the last x amount of years have been a waste of time.

I'm sick of the nice one minute, then absolutely awful the next.

The chat we had the other night was the first mention of the D word. I think it has dawned on her what is happening. She was really taken aback and annoyed with me when she said we should get a divorce and I just said ok.

I simply cannot love someone who treats me so bad. I see it all around me. My mum and dad don't get on at all, despite staying married. My brother has a terrible wife who is awful around him and the kids, and he just puts up with it. There is more to life than being constantly miserable and just putting up with st all of the time.

In relation to the comment about someone else, I simply couldn't care. It would make my life a lot easier if she did have someone else to fk around.

Edit to add - All I care about now is my daughter and not doing anything negative in-front of her. No arguing, no crass words or shouting, nothing.

Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 23 August 18:45

Well said, at least you're maintaining your common sense at a difficult time. At times like this I always remember what some wise old boy told me many years ago - 'You've only got one life, this is not a dress rehearsal' . To me, that means that you have to get on with whatever suits just you, and your daughter.

EUPD? no cure,

[Greenmantle]

funky - i think the writing is in the wall and she is getting cold feet over the D word. Don’t give it a second thought. Separation snd eventual divorce will make you both happy in the end. The trust has gone from the relationship. Stay focused and crack on. There is a long way to go but eventually you will come out the other end. I had the best time of my life on Wednesday night and my horrors started Jan 2015 and did not finish till August 2017.

[funkyrobot]

Greenmantle said:

funky - i think the writing is in the wall and she is getting cold feet over the D word. Don’t give it a second thought. Separation snd eventual divorce will make you both happy in the end. The trust has gone from the relationship. Stay focused and crack on. There is a long way to go but eventually you will come out the other end. I had the best time of my life on Wednesday night and my horrors started Jan 2015 and did not finish till August 2017.

[anonymous-user]

Chop change I love you BUt
It's not you it's me but you don't help

ETC
The best way to know you are done with it all is when you simply think I just can't be bothered with all this
I think Funky is maybe approaching that part .

[g3org3y]

bucksmanuk said:

I hope I’m not stepping on too many sore toes here.
Those who have had the “I don’t love you any more” line as per thread title, and the painful aftermath that comes with it, May I ask some further questions…

Did you think that your partner had this ability (an inkling maybe) to be difficult post-divorce - before any of it happened?

Did any of your friends/colleagues/family raise any concerns with you before she moved in/got engaged/got married?

When did she become difficult? After she saw her solicitor or when she had talked to her post lucrative divorce friends?

Colleague of mine is getting divorced. Doesn't seem to be going smoothly.

In this instance, it's a bit of a role reversal as she's the main bread winner (doctor) and he was doing some kind of part time work.

She tells me that there were inklings pre-marriage that it might not be 100%, but the belief was 'it'll sort itself out'. It didn't and two kid later they have split up. She was the one who moved out. Owing to the nature of his/her job, it made sense that he do the bulk of the childcare. Split up is rather acrimonious. Lots of arguments re visitation etc. He seems to be quite keen to put the kids in the middle. Lots of instances where she's doing proper parenting (boundaries, rules etc) and he'll throw that out the window and refer to 'mummy being mean' not letting the kids have whatever they want.

Couple of years down the line she's got a new fella (he himself divorced with his own kids), ex has no-one. Apparently this has made ex even more annoyed and behave even more irrationally. It's bloody messy.

FocusRS3 said:

Think i get the idea now :-)

Back on topic....

Mate of mine (52) has just left his wife and kids for a 23yr old..

As you can imagine that's gone down well and he is looking for social acceptance from all the friends. It ain't happening.

Meanwhile his wife has already filed for the divorce (well you would i suppose) and intends to give him some 'OXO Action' of his own.

As you can imagine his teenage kids aren't best pleased either....

23 year old smoking hot at least!?

Men get do get drunk and older ones are especially susceptible to it when younger women are involved.

I'll be interested to know how long the relationship lasts.

funkyrobot said:

I don't know what is worse in my current predicament. The talk about getting divorced, or the acting like nothing has happened days later.

She said she loves me today and was trying to hug me etc. Weird.

She did call me stoic though as I'm not going for the hugs and the love you comments.

Do you think she dropped the D bomb as a power play to get you to beg for it not to happen?

She's probably shocked/surprised as to your acceptance of it.

Edited by g3org3y on Saturday 24th August 05:25

[67Dino]

techiedave said:

Chop change I love you BUt
It's not you it's me but you don't help

ETC
The best way to know you are done with it all is when you simply think I just can't be bothered with all this
I think Funky is maybe approaching that part .

My cousin has spent years restoring a classic Jag. He told me the moment he decided it was time to divorce was when his wife shouted at him “You love that bloody car more than me!”, and he realised he did.

[zygalski]

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

[anonymous-user]

zygalski said:

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

And keeping records. Don’t forget the records.

[ClaphamGT3]

zygalski said:

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

I don’t disagree although, in fairness, Mumsnet is just the obverse of the coin

[GT03ROB]

Roman Rhodes said:

zygalski said:

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

And keeping records. Don’t forget the records.

...and record everything on your phone.....& don't move out ever.

[funkyrobot]

Plate spinner said:

trackdemon said:

FocusRS3 said:

I think there is something very wrong with that age difference

I'm sure he's having fun, but bedding someone young enough to be your daughters younger mate is kinda weird. 70/40 seems odd, but it suits Hollywood. This isn't Hollywood though, and it's not 70/40

We shouldn’t judge though, if it works for those involved then it works.

There is an affair going on at my workplace. A chap in his mid thirties has hooked up with a 21 year old uni student who is working there in her summer holidays. Thing is, he has a girlfriend at home expecting their second child, and she is due back from a holiday where her boyfriend was supposed to propose. That's two sets of hurt there.

I think it's a lust thing, but they are both adamant they have never met anyone like each other before. They have literally been fking in his car, on back lanes and at her mum's house when her mum has been out and probably in the toilets at work. He had proudly told me that he finger banged her behind the doors at the back of work.

It's just weird and not very nice. I guess I'll find out today if she said yes.

[Steve H]

zygalski said:

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

TBF it's mostly blokes posting and they are hardly going to see it from the other side any more than the other side will see it from theirs.

In many cases the asset grabbing etc is just describing the logistics of many relationship break-ups. Look two posts above yours and see that men can/do act in the same way when roles are reversed.

[Alltrack]

Steve H said:

zygalski said:

So, things I have learnt from this thread.
1. It's always the woman's fault.
2. There's no such thing to another side to the story.
3. 'They' are all asset grabbing snakes with tits, apart from once you've find a new partner. Then they're the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's not difficult to understand how those of you expressing these sentiments struggle in relationships.
I wonder what it would have been like to have been a fly on the wall in some of these unjustifiably wronged PH'er relationships?

TBF it's mostly blokes posting and they are hardly going to see it from the other side any more than the other side will see it from theirs.

In many cases the asset grabbing etc is just describing the logistics of many relationship break-ups. Look two posts above yours and see that men can/do act in the same way when roles are reversed.

I would suggest that a lot of men don’t have the emotional intelligence to recognise that their partner wants out.
Hence the trauma and recriminations when they’re told/find out.
There’s then a lot of rewriting of history from both parties to promote their victim status.