Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
Haven’t checked in to this thread in a little while. Our second is now 6 months old and I’m currently on my second round of paternity leave, which let’s say hasn’t gone according to plan due to various illnesses. Yesterday was the first time I had our daughter to myself for the whole day, and she ended up being blue lighted to A&E 
.
She’s had a fever for a couple of days, seemed to improve yesterday, then after lunch she was sat with me where she started breathing very oddly (very short, sharp and distressed), followed by starting to appear to lose consciousness. Her temp was 39.5. Phoned GP, ‘7th in queue’, binned them, phoned 111 and explained symptoms, looked like she was going to pass out, they dispatched an ambulance. Took 30 mins to arrive, in the time she then did a massive vomit, went very pale and lethargic. Chased ambulance via 999 (20 mins after call) she was not right at all, advised I put her in recovery position. She would never tolerate that normally as she wriggles and just wants to move, but in this instance she just lay there. Just as crew arrived 10 mins later, she started to perk up again. However taking her obs her heart rate was very high so they took her to A&E. 4 hours later, diagnosed with a UTI on top of a virus. Sent home with antibiotics.
Terrifying experience but with a recoverable outcome thankfully. And as per, our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
.She’s had a fever for a couple of days, seemed to improve yesterday, then after lunch she was sat with me where she started breathing very oddly (very short, sharp and distressed), followed by starting to appear to lose consciousness. Her temp was 39.5. Phoned GP, ‘7th in queue’, binned them, phoned 111 and explained symptoms, looked like she was going to pass out, they dispatched an ambulance. Took 30 mins to arrive, in the time she then did a massive vomit, went very pale and lethargic. Chased ambulance via 999 (20 mins after call) she was not right at all, advised I put her in recovery position. She would never tolerate that normally as she wriggles and just wants to move, but in this instance she just lay there. Just as crew arrived 10 mins later, she started to perk up again. However taking her obs her heart rate was very high so they took her to A&E. 4 hours later, diagnosed with a UTI on top of a virus. Sent home with antibiotics.
Terrifying experience but with a recoverable outcome thankfully. And as per, our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
Davie said:
£45k a year and worried about money? Jeezo, wish I had stuff like that to worry about! I don't think babies are dear, unless you choose to go that route. Chap at work, basic wage and wife on a low income was busy telling me how they have a wee one due in January... he's just spent £799.00 on a travel system to add to the couple of grand he's spent already buying the 'must have' kit including all new clothes, nursery furniture, bottles, steriliser... you name it, he's bought it and looks like he's on the verge of a coronary already and is planning to work all the overtime he can just to survive.
My sister and her man, average income, just bought a house and also got one due in January. She's got pretty everything too, travel system, clothes, Next To Me cot, second baby seat, nursery kitted out, painted etc. She worked out shed spent £75 in total. Thats not a typo. That said, mine is two and still rocks around in his Mothercare Urban Cruiser or whatever it is buggy that we bought 3yes ago, as new and as part of a full travel system from Barnardos for about £40. He's still in his £10 cot too.
Clothes wise, he's a wee boy... stuff lasts about an hour at best so more often than not he's kitted out in hand me down stuff from his cousins or friends kids. Most of which was all brand new and unworn as people had gone mental buying stuff that ended up being far too much and not used.
I guess if you need to have it all new or big names be it choice or due to peer pressure or what not, then I can see why it's a dear game. But if you don't need to do that, it's not a big financial burden. Cut your cloth accordingly and all that. We both work part time, share child care and neither of us have huge wages but we do OK. Granted no new cars or holidays on the yacht but no debts, mortgage almost paid off. In my line of work, I see so many people in financial difficulty yet there will be a i-candy pram sat and an Evoque on the drive, nails immaculate... borrowing money to buy nappies. Heartbreaking.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the one thing that makes me worry in life is money, plus we are renting and trying to save for a mortgage and it will take some out of my fun/track car budget. We are re using the push chair from last time much to my partners dis pleasure due to it still being in near mint condition, we threw the cot after we moved last time due to it being out together and taken down to many times as it was a hand me down to my cousin who used it for two kids and then handed it down to me, we kept some clothes but my partner also sold a lot of them. I know we will be ok but i am just a worry wart basically.My sister and her man, average income, just bought a house and also got one due in January. She's got pretty everything too, travel system, clothes, Next To Me cot, second baby seat, nursery kitted out, painted etc. She worked out shed spent £75 in total. Thats not a typo. That said, mine is two and still rocks around in his Mothercare Urban Cruiser or whatever it is buggy that we bought 3yes ago, as new and as part of a full travel system from Barnardos for about £40. He's still in his £10 cot too.
Clothes wise, he's a wee boy... stuff lasts about an hour at best so more often than not he's kitted out in hand me down stuff from his cousins or friends kids. Most of which was all brand new and unworn as people had gone mental buying stuff that ended up being far too much and not used.
I guess if you need to have it all new or big names be it choice or due to peer pressure or what not, then I can see why it's a dear game. But if you don't need to do that, it's not a big financial burden. Cut your cloth accordingly and all that. We both work part time, share child care and neither of us have huge wages but we do OK. Granted no new cars or holidays on the yacht but no debts, mortgage almost paid off. In my line of work, I see so many people in financial difficulty yet there will be a i-candy pram sat and an Evoque on the drive, nails immaculate... borrowing money to buy nappies. Heartbreaking.
Its killing me not telling people as we have only had the pee on a stick pregnancy test confirmation so far so my partner don't want anyone to know until she has had a scan.
juggsy said:
Haven’t checked in to this thread in a little while. Our second is now 6 months old and I’m currently on my second round of paternity leave,...
... our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
I feel for you. A UTI at a young age is terrifying.... our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
Our first ended up in hospital for a week with one - ringing the ambulance when she started fitting is still probably the worst experience of my life. It was over 2 years ago but the thought of that event still makes me cry.
Now we ensure that we always carry lots of water and remind them both to drink regularly.
I posted a few weeks ago that we had a bit of a wobble from the midwife about the growth trend of our first baby, that episode has concluded this week because we went in for a final scan (@ 38 weeks) and the baby is smack bang in the middle of the trend line. She looks huge, the scan could barely fit in one "feature" at once 
Still absolutely no signs of the baby being ready to come though, she's "engaged" but the missus feels no real difference to what she's been feeling the last six months. I've got a trackday on Sunday so I'm fully expecting contractions to start at about 10am Sunday morning.
We went to see some friends last night who had theirs 5 weeks ago, it got us both a bit excited. We've had a bit of a lull recently as the nursery/house has been "sorted" for a couple of months now and we've run out of s
t to buy. We should probably be enjoying the downtime but just getting impatient now...
Still absolutely no signs of the baby being ready to come though, she's "engaged" but the missus feels no real difference to what she's been feeling the last six months. I've got a trackday on Sunday so I'm fully expecting contractions to start at about 10am Sunday morning.
We went to see some friends last night who had theirs 5 weeks ago, it got us both a bit excited. We've had a bit of a lull recently as the nursery/house has been "sorted" for a couple of months now and we've run out of s
t to buy. We should probably be enjoying the downtime but just getting impatient now...vonuber said:
I feel for you. A UTI at a young age is terrifying.
Our first ended up in hospital for a week with one - ringing the ambulance when she started fitting is still probably the worst experience of my life. It was over 2 years ago but the thought of that event still makes me cry.
Now we ensure that we always carry lots of water and remind them both to drink regularly.
It’s definitely not an experience I want to repeat. The ambulance took around 30 mins to come, longest 30 mins of my life. But I can’t fault them, they were excellent and couldn’t have done enough, even helping to wipe the sick off the sofa whilst I got changed.Our first ended up in hospital for a week with one - ringing the ambulance when she started fitting is still probably the worst experience of my life. It was over 2 years ago but the thought of that event still makes me cry.
Now we ensure that we always carry lots of water and remind them both to drink regularly.
vaud said:
Fortunately they bounce back very quickly. Our eldest was rushed in with an infection. Limp, palid, 40c temp, etc.
12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
Absolutely, right now she’s up and down depending on whether she’s had some calpol, just crossing fingers for a speedy recovery as you say12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
Joshsl said:
Thanks for the congratulations people, i'm more worried about the money side of things, i've got a decent salary of 40-45k but my Mrs has just dropped her hours and doesn't get paid well but we should be ok. ill have to try and remember how to do everything
See if anywhere in your area hosts "Jack and Jill" sales. You can buy loads of stuff second hand and the folk that run the sales are quite strict that stuff has to be in good nick. Great way to pick stuff up at a bargain, especially with the silly prices that a lot of stuff costs from new. Also a great way to get a bit of money back for stuff that your little ones have outgrown etc., we've done a couple and most stuff will go, although clothes don't seem to sell very well, even if they're spotless.vaud said:
Fortunately they bounce back very quickly. Our eldest was rushed in with an infection. Limp, palid, 40c temp, etc.
12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
Our youngest lad was rushed in with breathing difficulties (severe croup as it turned out) the day after his 1st birthday, scared the s12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
t out his mother and I. Once he was starting to improve I nipped away to take his brother to the in-laws for the night and went straight back to the hospital, he had decided by then that he owned the place and was rampaging around like he would at home, smiling and giggling like a loon.juggsy said:
Yesterday was the first time I had our daughter to myself for the whole day, and she ended up being blue lighted to A&E .
She’s had a fever for a couple of days, seemed to improve yesterday, then after lunch she was sat with me where she started breathing very oddly (very short, sharp and distressed), followed by starting to appear to lose consciousness. Her temp was 39.5. Phoned GP, ‘7th in queue’, binned them, phoned 111 and explained symptoms, looked like she was going to pass out, they dispatched an ambulance. Took 30 mins to arrive, in the time she then did a massive vomit, went very pale and lethargic. Chased ambulance via 999 (20 mins after call) she was not right at all, advised I put her in recovery position. She would never tolerate that normally as she wriggles and just wants to move, but in this instance she just lay there. Just as crew arrived 10 mins later, she started to perk up again. However taking her obs her heart rate was very high so they took her to A&E. 4 hours later, diagnosed with a UTI on top of a virus. Sent home with antibiotics.
Terrifying experience but with a recoverable outcome thankfully. And as per, our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
We had an ambulance with us within 7 minutes when our little one was 3 months old. Thankfully we live 1 minute away from the hospital. .She’s had a fever for a couple of days, seemed to improve yesterday, then after lunch she was sat with me where she started breathing very oddly (very short, sharp and distressed), followed by starting to appear to lose consciousness. Her temp was 39.5. Phoned GP, ‘7th in queue’, binned them, phoned 111 and explained symptoms, looked like she was going to pass out, they dispatched an ambulance. Took 30 mins to arrive, in the time she then did a massive vomit, went very pale and lethargic. Chased ambulance via 999 (20 mins after call) she was not right at all, advised I put her in recovery position. She would never tolerate that normally as she wriggles and just wants to move, but in this instance she just lay there. Just as crew arrived 10 mins later, she started to perk up again. However taking her obs her heart rate was very high so they took her to A&E. 4 hours later, diagnosed with a UTI on top of a virus. Sent home with antibiotics.
Terrifying experience but with a recoverable outcome thankfully. And as per, our NHS step up, couldn’t fault the care and attention we had from the paramedics and staff at the hospital. Now for plenty of calpol and cuddles.
I can't imagine how you felt with it being 30 minutes. My wife was in hysterics that I had to tell her to leave the room when my baby was unresponsive. A calm head is needed in them situations.
CharlieH89 said:
We had an ambulance with us within 7 minutes when our little one was 3 months old. Thankfully we live 1 minute away from the hospital.
I can't imagine how you felt with it being 30 minutes. My wife was in hysterics that I had to tell her to leave the room when my baby was unresponsive. A calm head is needed in them situations.
I think because she was still conscious and breathing they didn’t class her as the most urgent, I did phone 999 back when she started going downhill and three paramedics were there within 10 mins. My wife was on her way back from work and I tried to stay calm, but if I’m honest if my daughter had been properly unresponsive I think I’d have been more panicked.I can't imagine how you felt with it being 30 minutes. My wife was in hysterics that I had to tell her to leave the room when my baby was unresponsive. A calm head is needed in them situations.
I was tempted to jump in the car with her, engage full BMW nob mode and just get her to the hospital myself as quick as possible, luckily I saw sense
Edited by juggsy on Thursday 19th September 16:06
vaud said:
Fortunately they bounce back very quickly. Our eldest was rushed in with an infection. Limp, palid, 40c temp, etc.
12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
Thats good to know, i don't know how i would have coped in juggsy's position. 12 hours later bouncing in the cot trying to climb out.
Im full time (on around an above average wage) and the Mrs is part time. We have bought 2nd hand everything... im a tight Yorkshireman, what can i say!
We have a few friends who have had babies recently who are around 12-20 weeks old now and they cant throw things at us fast enough for nowt
Plus we have a great local charity shop which just sells baby/kids stuff which is brilliant.
Also.... "engage full BMW nob mode"
Davie said:
£45k a year and worried about money?
You'd be surprised how quickly it all gets eaten up.Let's call it £3000 take home rounded up.
Out of that:
£1500 mortgage (300k house @ 3% fixed)
£200 council tax
£100 electricity (kids get through a lot of washing)
£780 preschool fees (3 days a week, £65 a day) so the wife can work part time
£50 water bill
£300 food and toiletries (lidl and tesco own brands)
This is with home cooked meals from scratch, payg mobile phones, freeview etc. Vast vast majority of kids clothes are hand me downs from others or ebay bundle bargains.
We're not pawning possessions but it's not the rolling in luxury that everyone might think it is.
The childcare fees are a killer but both kids have massively benefited from the social interaction and structured tuition. There's only so many mum's groups you can go to during the week and even those end up having some sort of cost.
ooh didnt know their was a topic running..
Bab No1 is due in 4 weeks, all expensive parafanalia bought and ready to go. Wife has either had a great pregnancy or shes double 'ard, saying that she's the type of women to go get a root canal in her lunch break and mention it over a dinner a week later (She did that, bloody weirdo)
She is pretty uncomfortable now though, worryingly she baby has grown considerably and is now 98% for her head and torso and by all account a bit of a chubsta, 4 weeks to go and 3.6kg already..
Im frankly terrified of the effects its going to have on her body (not in a selfish blokey way)
We told the family the name we agreed on only for them to voice their disapproval, that was very frustrating as it took 7 months to reach a decision... next baby they will be told after the birth
EDIT TO AD: All this talk of blue lights and minor emergencies has me in a sweat! we live in the Middle East.. im not sure anyone would answer the phone let alone rush to our aid, hospital is 20 minutes away... time to get myself on a First Aid course me thinks!
Bab No1 is due in 4 weeks, all expensive parafanalia bought and ready to go. Wife has either had a great pregnancy or shes double 'ard, saying that she's the type of women to go get a root canal in her lunch break and mention it over a dinner a week later (She did that, bloody weirdo)
She is pretty uncomfortable now though, worryingly she baby has grown considerably and is now 98% for her head and torso and by all account a bit of a chubsta, 4 weeks to go and 3.6kg already..
Im frankly terrified of the effects its going to have on her body (not in a selfish blokey way)
We told the family the name we agreed on only for them to voice their disapproval, that was very frustrating as it took 7 months to reach a decision... next baby they will be told after the birth
EDIT TO AD: All this talk of blue lights and minor emergencies has me in a sweat! we live in the Middle East.. im not sure anyone would answer the phone let alone rush to our aid, hospital is 20 minutes away... time to get myself on a First Aid course me thinks!
Edited by FlatToTheMat on Thursday 19th September 19:59
FlatToTheMat said:
ooh didnt know their was a topic running..
We told the family the name we agreed on only for them to voice their disapproval, that was very frustrating as it took 7 months to reach a decision... next baby they will be told after the birth
Family should be grateful you told them before the birth, we kept the names of both our kids to ourselves until they were born (admittedly we shortlisted until they arrived when we made final decisions). If anyone had given negative opinions on our name choices, they would have a sWe told the family the name we agreed on only for them to voice their disapproval, that was very frustrating as it took 7 months to reach a decision... next baby they will be told after the birth
tty nappy flung in their faces.FlatToTheMat said:
EDIT TO AD: All this talk of blue lights and minor emergencies has me in a sweat! we live in the Middle East.. im not sure anyone would answer the phone let alone rush to our aid, hospital is 20 minutes away... time to get myself on a First Aid course me thinks!
Don’t take our experiences as normal, definitely shouldn’t worry. Saying that I don’t think there’s any harm in knowing basic paediatric first aid and and what to do when, just common sense and quite reassuring I’d like to think.All the best with the next few weeks. It’s definitely life changing but I wouldn’t have it any other way!
juggsy said:
Anyone going to the Oxford Sunday Service next month? I’m booked and am going to take my 3yo son and feed his growing interest in ‘racing cars’ (basically any car that looks remotely sporty). Anyone other dads (expectant or otherwise) going?
We are often over that way as my parents are nearby. Son would love it as we’ve had Minis. I always feel like I’d be out of place at these being female though (and generally quite shy too)
mangos said:
We are often over that way as my parents are nearby. Son would love it as we’ve had Minis.
I always feel like I’d be out of place at these being female though (and generally quite shy too)
It would be a real shame not to do something you and your son would love on that basis, I’ve not been to one myself and appreciate they are likely to be more men than women, but these events tend to be very welcoming and open to all. You should definitely go even if it’s just to wander around and soak up the atmosphere.I always feel like I’d be out of place at these being female though (and generally quite shy too)
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