Match.com (Volume 5)

[Justayellowbadge]

Council Baby said:

Yes, a permanent ban for offending the easily insulted when drunk.

He'd have got away with it, but the idiot asked for 29,907 other offences to be taken into consideration.

[Justayellowbadge]

kit80 said:

Aw no! Have you hooked up with Matt yet?

Gp for it rach.

Imagine the incredible sensation of him dry humping your leg while strenuously explaining that 'they aren't toys, they're limited edition collectible action figures in their original packaging..'.

[Justayellowbadge]

SebastienClement said:

Has anyone tried Oasis? Thoughts?

Citrus Punch is good, Summer fruits not so much.

Great for hangovers.

[Justayellowbadge]

FFS.

[Justayellowbadge]

Riknos said:

mat777 said:

Well....

without cutting my hair, changing my ways or indeed scouring dating sites for desperate mentalists, I have a girlfriend!

She's a girl from my uni halls who I met, of all places, in the laundry room. After a few weeks of getting to know each other, we spent the night together last night

Congrats dude - you get a lot of stick on here, well done for not giving in to people telling you to change your appearance and being yourself.

Keep reading.

After months of 'I want a girlfriend' he has now gone to 'I've got a girlfriend, how do I get her to sod off so I can get back to Warcraft?'

[Justayellowbadge]

SebastienClement said:

Just had a message from a lovely sounding girl. Similar interests, a looker, same age, same 'wants'. Only thing is at the end of her advert it states... "Edit to add that I have mild schizophrenia and bipolar disorder".

I'd just take that as reassurance that she is genetically female.

Get stuck in.

Let us know how you get on.

Casualty depts have wifi.

[Justayellowbadge]

Mr Pies said:

Approaching 2 years. Do keep up at the back.

You wish.

[Justayellowbadge]

mat777 said:

the crashing of the v-reg

There was so much to work with in your post, but, ultimately, simply highlighting this suffices.

[Justayellowbadge]

mat777 said:

I know it sounds implausible but it actually really did happen. Ask anyone over on the LRO forum

Did he know it was your first time? Was he gentle?

[Justayellowbadge]

mat777 said:

Justayellowbadge said:

Did he know it was your first time? Was he gentle?

It was a she actually - a rather nice redhead tomboy from uni

Matt, I'd like to ask a serious question, just this once.

Have you ever been tested for ASD?

The way you respond to everything as if it is a serious question, and not simply a little banter, is slightly odd.

This is not meant as a dig, honestly, but a genuine question. It is an area I know a little about, and it is surprising the amount of people who find their life improved following an adult diagnosis.

[Justayellowbadge]

Adenauer said:

mat777 said:

Unfortunately, myself and a lot of other people have since stopped using it when the moderators started getting very cliquey and applying favouritism and double standards

Well you certainly won't be seeing any of that on here, sonny jim

Quite so.

[Justayellowbadge]

Justayellowbadge said:

Adenauer said:

mat777 said:

Unfortunately, myself and a lot of other people have since stopped using it when the moderators started getting very cliquey and applying favouritism and double standards

Well you certainly won't be seeing any of that on here, sonny jim

Quite so.

I suspect, anyway, that it is more likely they only told Matt they were leaving, and are back posting happily now he is polluting our little corner of the internet.

Edited by Justayellowbadge on Tuesday 20th November 15:26

[Justayellowbadge]

SebastienClement said:

Rant of the evening.

Why do some many girls seem to have trouble keeping a conversation going? They just let it die, so I think "not interested, fair enough" yet then they come back accusing me of not wanting to talk to them?! Had three do this to me now. I'm not the one replying with closed replies. I get a feeling this sort would expect everything on a gold fking platter.

I think it is because they

[Justayellowbadge]

Zwolf said:

Date for him; free lunch and outing for her - without having to even Noah him off afterwards.

Well, I arks you!

[Justayellowbadge]

blindswelledrat said:

Did you introduce people thus:

CC: Right love, this is my best friend and his name is Bristolbarge. THis chap here with the massive beard called Justayellowbadge. He is both a mod AND my friend. Yes, you heard correctly. I have a mod as an actual friend. I know, I know- you've done well here love. Punching above your weight, but this cock won't suck itself you know

Beard?

[Justayellowbadge]

Council Baby said:

I've been asked to be a moderator on OKCupid.

fking hell.



I'm almost crying with laughter.

I'm in.

Well that trumps the madness of the lounge mod selection.

[Justayellowbadge]

SebastienClement said:

Well tonight I've had a full on argument with a lass I've been talking to. She's from Wales, and goes rallying, is into cars in a massive way. Great! A kindred spirit! Not so.

From talking to her, her technique sounds absolutely appalling. She sounds like an impatient nightmare of a driver.

Anyway.

Next!

You blew a shag because you didn't like her lane discipline?

[Justayellowbadge]

'Saints alive, woman, if that's how you handle a penis, I dread to think what your gear changing is like. Now get your incompetent hands off my cock and ps off back to Wales. Pass me that Auto Express on the way out.'

Lies back, smug in the glow of normalcy and a Citroen diesel review.

[Justayellowbadge]

Council Baby said:

I believe the quote was 'not in the spirit of moderation' it's amusing but a waste of time really anyway, so many people report absolutely anything and are pedantic aholes.

As for what I did wrong. I suggested that only hot women should be allowed to post naked breasts in profiles when somebody reported a bird with her baps out, she was rough.

Somebody was reported for calling someone a fat retard, she was fat and her complaint was horrifically spelled so I suggested that it wasn't offensive, merely truthful.

A woman went on a date with a guy and was messaging her afterwards, she was messaging him back, she then reported him even though she was still responding. I suggested she should be banned for being a cock tease.

Nothing too bad.

Anyway, I've now deleted my account out of spite

I fail to see the problem.

[Justayellowbadge]

LordGrover said:

Fifth volume, it's a lot to try to catch up so I'm just jumping in. Apols if restating common knowledge...

I've recently succumbed to one of the popular dating sites. Over the last few days interest has been increasing despite my photos/appearance, naive profile and general noobiness.
Several 'conversations' with potential dates and after a longish phone call (for a bloke) I agreed to a date next week. Pretty happy was I.
Since then, all the feckin' buses have come at once and several 'opportunities' have arisen. Some right proper sorts, IYSWIM.
Being old school, I've amended my profile to say I'm provisionally committed. Doing the right thing I thought.
I've been contacted to say I shouldn't be wasting people's time and even some 'upping the ante' saying a principled man is rare and would I consider them instead? WTF! How does that work? They're attracted to me because I'm principled enough to remove myself from the pool, but would I forget my principles in their case?
I'm sticking to my guns and hoping I was lucky with my first choice but can't believe the desperation/competitiveness of some of the women out there.
For the record, I'm an old fat bald fecker on a middling income.

I was on a jury a few years back.

On our last day of service we went out in the evening for some drinks.

I had picked up the engagement ring that lunchtime and was asked about it, and how I planned to propose.

I told the story, of how we met, how I was going to propose and why that meant what it did to us, all that sort of thing.

Lots of 'aahhh's and 'why can't I find someone like that' and the like.

3 of the women propositioned me.

Utterly, utterly confounding, as you say.