Annoying things people do on trains
Discussion
JD PH said:
At the risk of sounding old, I genuinely only understood every third word and that was "innit" more often than not. And that's not even a word! Apparently the poor sod - that she presumably trapped somehow - was "bare ream" and "totally her bay" [sic], which genuinely means nothing to me. Perhaps it's simply a colloquialism that didn't make it as far as Surrey?
'Innit'. This word signifies that the narrator is eager for a response from the listener. It derives from the Latin 'est id quod est' and was in common usage in Rome amongst the followers of the Imperial Games.'Bare Ream' suggests that she had recently visited a proctologist as she may be suffering with lesions around the fundamental orifice.
'Totally her bay' would appear to mean that she had recently visited a marina to find that her mooring had been occupied by a lesser yacht. Alternatively she may have been dividing shrubs as part of divorce settlement.
I do hope this helps illuminate the local patois
.
NDA said:
'Innit'. This word signifies that the narrator is eager for a response from the listener. It derives from the Latin 'est id quod est' and was in common usage in Rome amongst the followers of the Imperial Games.
'Bare Ream' suggests that she had recently visited a proctologist as she may be suffering with lesions around the fundamental orifice.
'Totally her bay' would appear to mean that she had recently visited a marina to find that her mooring had been occupied by a lesser yacht. Alternatively she may have been dividing shrubs as part of divorce settlement.
I do hope this helps illuminate the local patois
.
Thanks, crystal clear now!'Bare Ream' suggests that she had recently visited a proctologist as she may be suffering with lesions around the fundamental orifice.
'Totally her bay' would appear to mean that she had recently visited a marina to find that her mooring had been occupied by a lesser yacht. Alternatively she may have been dividing shrubs as part of divorce settlement.
I do hope this helps illuminate the local patois
.
Hogging the toilet to try to dodge the fare. Got the train from Ely to Norwich on Monday, only two carriages so only two lavvys. The one in our carriage was showing as in use at Ely and stayed that way fore about half an hour so I assumed it was faulty. After the ticket collector had made his rounds at Thetford a very chavvy woman appeared from said lavvy with all her luggage. She had a minor hiccup in this plan when she realised Norwich has ticket barriers...
In defence of big luggage, what are you supposed to do with it? Couple of years ago we got the Eurostar to Paris, so got the train down to Kings Cross. The commuter trains from Ely only have the poxy overhead racks, which are no use at all for a weekend bag.
In defence of big luggage, what are you supposed to do with it? Couple of years ago we got the Eurostar to Paris, so got the train down to Kings Cross. The commuter trains from Ely only have the poxy overhead racks, which are no use at all for a weekend bag.
Trains are the worst thing.
I regularly have to go into London for work. Maybe on average once a week.
Usually you get the 7.15 train and it's full of business type pricks.
The kind who sit on one seat and put their bags on the other and tap away at their laptop being all important.
Or the kind who take up far too much space unnecessarily.
I went to London with the mrs on Saturday.
Stupidly instead of driving into London and parking we trained from Thatcham to Paddington.
Because it's a weekend, presumably no-one travels so instead of having 3 or 4 trains an hour, there's ONE.
The train that does come is made up of 3 coaches, when it should be made up of 7.
Arrive at Reading to change (because weekend trains don't run to Paddington from Newbury, joys!) and instead of having regular trains they have 3 trains within about 5 minutes of each other and then nothing for another hour.
So I have to stand next to some incredibly overweight person, which isn't a problem in itself, but I could literally not see past him, so ended up getting travel sick.
On the way back, at Paddington, miss the train by 3 minutes, so have to wait another hour. JOYS.
Somehow manage to get a set, facing the wrong way but it's better than nothing.
Across the carriage, one row back, some kid has some headphones, great, but instead of putting them on, he has them round his neck like a Tonka Toy DJ and playing the music at literally full blast. All awful music I may add.
His dad oblivious to this, sitting next to him, on the phone talking to his wife or whatever about whether they are going out for dinner or eating in.
Que the annoying headphone child who regretfully is passed the phone and spends the next 10 minutes going on about not wanting to eat out because "he's had some sweeties".
Completely pointless conversation he was screaming down the phone.. probably couldn't hear over his music.
In short, overcharging us as consumers to use a service which is clearly not fit for purpose, travelling with scummy pricks .
I regularly have to go into London for work. Maybe on average once a week.
Usually you get the 7.15 train and it's full of business type pricks.
The kind who sit on one seat and put their bags on the other and tap away at their laptop being all important.
Or the kind who take up far too much space unnecessarily.
I went to London with the mrs on Saturday.
Stupidly instead of driving into London and parking we trained from Thatcham to Paddington.
Because it's a weekend, presumably no-one travels so instead of having 3 or 4 trains an hour, there's ONE.
The train that does come is made up of 3 coaches, when it should be made up of 7.
Arrive at Reading to change (because weekend trains don't run to Paddington from Newbury, joys!) and instead of having regular trains they have 3 trains within about 5 minutes of each other and then nothing for another hour.
So I have to stand next to some incredibly overweight person, which isn't a problem in itself, but I could literally not see past him, so ended up getting travel sick.
On the way back, at Paddington, miss the train by 3 minutes, so have to wait another hour. JOYS.
Somehow manage to get a set, facing the wrong way but it's better than nothing.
Across the carriage, one row back, some kid has some headphones, great, but instead of putting them on, he has them round his neck like a Tonka Toy DJ and playing the music at literally full blast. All awful music I may add.
His dad oblivious to this, sitting next to him, on the phone talking to his wife or whatever about whether they are going out for dinner or eating in.
Que the annoying headphone child who regretfully is passed the phone and spends the next 10 minutes going on about not wanting to eat out because "he's had some sweeties".
Completely pointless conversation he was screaming down the phone.. probably couldn't hear over his music.
In short, overcharging us as consumers to use a service which is clearly not fit for purpose, travelling with scummy pricks .
xjay1337 said:
Trains are the worst thing.
I regularly have to go into London for work. Maybe on average once a week.
Usually you get the 7.15 train and it's full of business type pricks.
The kind who sit on one seat and put their bags on the other and tap away at their laptop being all important.
Or the kind who take up far too much space unnecessarily.
I went to London with the mrs on Saturday.
Stupidly instead of driving into London and parking we trained from Thatcham to Paddington.
Because it's a weekend, presumably no-one travels so instead of having 3 or 4 trains an hour, there's ONE.
The train that does come is made up of 3 coaches, when it should be made up of 7.
Arrive at Reading to change (because weekend trains don't run to Paddington from Newbury, joys!) and instead of having regular trains they have 3 trains within about 5 minutes of each other and then nothing for another hour.
So I have to stand next to some incredibly overweight person, which isn't a problem in itself, but I could literally not see past him, so ended up getting travel sick.
On the way back, at Paddington, miss the train by 3 minutes, so have to wait another hour. JOYS.
Somehow manage to get a set, facing the wrong way but it's better than nothing.
Across the carriage, one row back, some kid has some headphones, great, but instead of putting them on, he has them round his neck like a Tonka Toy DJ and playing the music at literally full blast. All awful music I may add.
His dad oblivious to this, sitting next to him, on the phone talking to his wife or whatever about whether they are going out for dinner or eating in.
Que the annoying headphone child who regretfully is passed the phone and spends the next 10 minutes going on about not wanting to eat out because "he's had some sweeties".
Completely pointless conversation he was screaming down the phone.. probably couldn't hear over his music.
In short, overcharging us as consumers to use a service which is clearly not fit for purpose, travelling with scummy pricks .
I regularly have to go into London for work. Maybe on average once a week.
Usually you get the 7.15 train and it's full of business type pricks.
The kind who sit on one seat and put their bags on the other and tap away at their laptop being all important.
Or the kind who take up far too much space unnecessarily.
I went to London with the mrs on Saturday.
Stupidly instead of driving into London and parking we trained from Thatcham to Paddington.
Because it's a weekend, presumably no-one travels so instead of having 3 or 4 trains an hour, there's ONE.
The train that does come is made up of 3 coaches, when it should be made up of 7.
Arrive at Reading to change (because weekend trains don't run to Paddington from Newbury, joys!) and instead of having regular trains they have 3 trains within about 5 minutes of each other and then nothing for another hour.
So I have to stand next to some incredibly overweight person, which isn't a problem in itself, but I could literally not see past him, so ended up getting travel sick.
On the way back, at Paddington, miss the train by 3 minutes, so have to wait another hour. JOYS.
Somehow manage to get a set, facing the wrong way but it's better than nothing.
Across the carriage, one row back, some kid has some headphones, great, but instead of putting them on, he has them round his neck like a Tonka Toy DJ and playing the music at literally full blast. All awful music I may add.
His dad oblivious to this, sitting next to him, on the phone talking to his wife or whatever about whether they are going out for dinner or eating in.
Que the annoying headphone child who regretfully is passed the phone and spends the next 10 minutes going on about not wanting to eat out because "he's had some sweeties".
Completely pointless conversation he was screaming down the phone.. probably couldn't hear over his music.
In short, overcharging us as consumers to use a service which is clearly not fit for purpose, travelling with scummy pricks .
Podie said:
Gargamel said:
Buy decent earphones, play music - relax.
EFA 
If you choose to, or have to, accept that you're going to be exposed to the mad, bad and totally strange public. Accept what comes with that and enjoy the amusement, then vow to avoid at all costs
.JD PH said:
Monkeylegend said:
You can't leave it there, we need to know all the gory details.
At the risk of sounding old, I genuinely only understood every third word and that was "innit" more often than not. And that's not even a word! Apparently the poor sod - that she presumably trapped somehow - was "bare ream" and "totally her bay" [sic], which genuinely means nothing to me. Perhaps it's simply a colloquialism that didn't make it as far as Surrey?edit - also reem. Don't know where that comes from. I think it basically means good or in this case perhaps good looking? I'm not sure.
Edited by Blayney on Monday 7th December 01:57
Blayney said:
I already hate myself for this, but it's "bae". You know, because babe is too much.
edit - also reem. Don't know where that comes from. I think it basically means good or in this case perhaps good looking? I'm not sure.
That's one hell of a confession... But thanks for the info. At least it sounds like she was pleased with her victim!edit - also reem. Don't know where that comes from. I think it basically means good or in this case perhaps good looking? I'm not sure.
Edited by Blayney on Monday 7th December 01:57
JD PH said:
I can hardly believe what I've just witnessed. On a PACKED train out of London, full of families and tired looking folk, I've just witnessed some gopping, foul-mouthed TOWIE wanna-be discussing her conquest from last night.
Photos next time please old bean, there's a chap. RenesisEvo said:
I once had the misfortune of commuting by train. Every day, the same people, in roughly the same seats. Every day, the same people getting up at the same time, standing by the doors to get off at the same stop. Every day, the same crowd squash up against the doors on the platform when the train stops. Every day, the same people looking rather indignant when they have to step back from the doors again when they open so that the same people can get off the train before they get on. Every single day the same stupidity. Do these people never, ever learn?
On the rare occasions that I travel by train, if this happens as I try to disembark then I just shoulder barge them aside. If they don't give two s
ts about anyone else, then why the fk should I?Scenes like this at big stations remind me of the zombie siege from Shaun of the Dead.
DaveGoddard said:
On the rare occasions that I travel by train, if this happens as I try to disembark then I just shoulder barge them aside. If they don't give two sts about anyone else, then why the fk should I?
Scenes like this at big stations remind me of the zombie siege from Shaun of the Dead.
Wait until you have to travel while on crutches. People really don't give a sts about anyone else, then why the fk should I?Scenes like this at big stations remind me of the zombie siege from Shaun of the Dead.
t and don't make any allowances for you. I ended up planting my crutch hard on the ground and bracing myself against it so people bounced off me as they tried to barge me out of the way. I think twice I ended up having some man (always men) bounce off my shoulder and then trip over my crutch (which mysteriously found its way between his legs).People (especially people commuting in the morning) are generally gits.
Podie said:
Eating
Coughing
Snoring
Feet on seats
Bags on seats
st headphones
Using a mobile
Texting / typing on a mobile with the sound on
Trying to get away with not paying
Drinking coffee without a lidCoughing
Snoring
Feet on seats
Bags on seats
s
t headphonesUsing a mobile
Texting / typing on a mobile with the sound on
Trying to get away with not paying
Spilling coffee on me!
Filling the front of the train so full as you pull into Euston that those sat there can't stand up to get off - if you are in that much of a rush, get an earlier train or sit in the front!
Elbowing people out of the way to get into the train before them
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