Discussion
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I s
t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Oh no chum!t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
This is why I am not allowing us to move into our house until it is all finished.
Which may have been an error as it looks like you may need a spare room this evening.
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Chap, I have to say: if she's reacting like that, it's a new wife you need, not a new floor.t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Harry Flashman said:
I have tried so very hard to grow up. My marriage is recent, I love my wife, I am renovating a house for us to move into, and I was thinking that at nearly 40, I'd settled down and started behaving like a proper human being.
I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Glad it's just not me. I thought I was alone. I woke up this morning to a complete mess. There was a bottle of whisky on the dining room table, the remains of a half-cooked early morning "man meal", lots of clothes, and the projector was showing Batman Begins. On repeat. I felt like I had regressed. And there were a load of women here whose names I could not (and cannot still) remember. Some (most) not properly dressed.
I woke up to an angry/amused wife. Wondering why there were some randoms passed out around me in our home.
E-mails (polite) show that I was kicked out of the Shangri-La for naked swimming and rowdiness. Uber XL receipt shows that I was not alone on the start of my short shamble home. A Hangover from Purgatory is now kicking around the empty remains of my skull.
I have just thrown the last of my new friends out and left them to the mercies of Uber. I have checked that nothing has been stolen. I have called the office so that I can work from home (i.e. head to the garden with a laptop, sunglasses and a bucket of ice/beers and pretend to be alive - whilst e-mailing my team to tell them that they should knock off at midday and stay in the pub). I feel like death.
The extent of saving my marriage has been along the lines of "I'm sorry Lady F - I love you and that's shown by the fact that these random girls got me home, and I didn't touch any of them in an inappropriate way - and look, they're all gone now!" And then running away.
War is hell, people. I hope that your weekends will be better than mine.
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Need a good transition strip. It's common in many houses where it wasn't the original install.t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
James P said:
Council Baby said:
Vaud said:
Before they settled down, did Council Baby and Harry Flashman ever do a night out? I'm just wondering how legendary that might have been.
That didn't happen unfortunately, I did go out on the piss with 3 birds yesterday afternoon though, rolled in stfaced in the middle of the night and annoyed her enough for her to fk off to the spare room though.All is not lost here
She came back after I slurred an apology and threatened to try to carry her if she didn't walk there herself, after all she doesn't believe in going to sleep on an argument
Oh the Dog house seems to have had some action this weekend.
Mrs400 having her hair done at home Sat, I suggest goin out to the local that evening so ill potte off and book a table, barman assumes im there for a drink so pours me one as I sit down.
Had that and headed home, went down later for said meal and drank quite a few more.
Now we d drove down to the local Sat night as my chest was playin up, id suggested ill stroll down in the morning ish with the dog and fetch said car.
Long story short barman poured me another pint, im to polite to turn it down but then her lad turned up, (in my defense he thought she was on her way down) so bought me another, he drove me back home "without" her car and the newspaper I was apparently ment to pick up.
Fair to say seein as shes mentioned it twice this evening already im still in the dog house.
Mrs400 having her hair done at home Sat, I suggest goin out to the local that evening so ill potte off and book a table, barman assumes im there for a drink so pours me one as I sit down.
Had that and headed home, went down later for said meal and drank quite a few more.
Now we d drove down to the local Sat night as my chest was playin up, id suggested ill stroll down in the morning ish with the dog and fetch said car.
Long story short barman poured me another pint, im to polite to turn it down but then her lad turned up, (in my defense he thought she was on her way down) so bought me another, he drove me back home "without" her car and the newspaper I was apparently ment to pick up.
Fair to say seein as shes mentioned it twice this evening already im still in the dog house.
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Sounds like your missus has a lot to deal with, must be terrible for her, expensive renovations, a nanny, not sure how you are responsible for the contractors mistake/poor workmanship or just thats how it is when you arent there ?t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Sounds like a expectations and attitude reset is in order, introduce some reality into the proceedings, s
t, I thought mine could be a little tricky sometimes !You sound like you are a responsible bloke, out providing, articulate and all that, this is utter b
ks, dont do anything but politely and quietly explain why you think she is beign a tad unreasonble and that you will sort the flooring out but please dont over react and tell me not to come home to the home I am providing, unless you want some actual reasons for me not to do so !Timmy, your mrs sounds like a real piece of work! What was she so busy doing that she couldn't monitor proceedings?
Harry: I'd not get away with your events!
I've not been in the Dog House since 2009. Fair to say I deserved it!
I took the afternoon off work the Friday before last. All I'd said to my wife was that I'd be later home than usual.
I spent the afternoon on the lash with a colleague, but since I took a picture of every pint I had, and "checked-in" on FB, MrsRC1807 knew exactly where I was, how many beers I'd had, and expected the worst when I got home.
Oddly I was surprisingly sober, despite having had >10 pints, but it was spread over 9 hours and not crammed into 3 hours, which is more usual!
I was also not hungover on Saturday, as I might have otherwise been, so she suggested I should drink like that in future.
Haha!
Harry: I'd not get away with your events!
I've not been in the Dog House since 2009. Fair to say I deserved it!
I took the afternoon off work the Friday before last. All I'd said to my wife was that I'd be later home than usual.
I spent the afternoon on the lash with a colleague, but since I took a picture of every pint I had, and "checked-in" on FB, MrsRC1807 knew exactly where I was, how many beers I'd had, and expected the worst when I got home.
Oddly I was surprisingly sober, despite having had >10 pints, but it was spread over 9 hours and not crammed into 3 hours, which is more usual!
I was also not hungover on Saturday, as I might have otherwise been, so she suggested I should drink like that in future.
Haha!
Vaud said:
Timmy40 said:
Meanwhile. I st you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny.
I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get bkings.
Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Need a good transition strip. It's common in many houses where it wasn't the original install.t you not I have been informed that I needn't come home tonight as the flooring Company fitting the Oak flooring have left a 5mm difference in height level when meeting the Indian Limestone flooring. As I booked the flooring fitters it's my fault apparently. Even though her highness has been on site all day with the kids being looked after by the Nanny. I actually feel like going out drinking a bottle of bourbon, shagging some strippers, and taking photos to illustrate, I may as well actually misbehave properly if I'm going to get b
kings.Resh mate, it's all gone wrong.
Right flooring sorted with the easy option of laying another wood flooring ontop of the current ****king wood flooring. They're sorting that out at cost price with £0 for installation.
As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
Timmy40 said:
Right flooring sorted with the easy option of laying another wood flooring ontop of the current ****king wood flooring. They're sorting that out at cost price with £0 for installation.
As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
Fred West style?As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
Batman Begins is a good film, I'm sure your new friends are awaiting the invitation to a full Christopher Nolan repertoire appreciation evening. It's certainly something I'd be interested in, clothes or no clothes.
The fact you mentioned the film before the semi naked women would suggest you're priorities are in the right (wrong) place.
The fact you mentioned the film before the semi naked women would suggest you're priorities are in the right (wrong) place.
Timmy40 said:
Right flooring sorted with the easy option of laying another wood flooring ontop of the current ****king wood flooring. They're sorting that out at cost price with £0 for installation.
As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
I see only one person ending up under the patio is your relationship and it's not your wife or the nanny As for the wife, yes a word is in order, she doesn't work, we have a nanny, and of course I'm not having the work done whilst we live in the house Resh, this is the new 5 bed house I'm building her which is roughly twice the size of the Barn Conversion I previously built for her.
The problem is having a 'word' with her results in a barrage of abuse back in my direction. One thing at a time. I need to complete the build, then sort the wife out then lay the patio.
Where are you all finding these puritans to marry? My wife picked me up from the works Christmas party at about 1am after an evening of proving i could still out-drink the 19 year olds from the call center (barely) and just laughed at the state i was in.
She did refuse to drive me to work the next morning however which i assume i deserved. I was too busy concentrating on not dying to complain.
She did refuse to drive me to work the next morning however which i assume i deserved. I was too busy concentrating on not dying to complain.
Digga said:
Reminds me of a lovely joke I saw in the comments on the Viz Facebook page:
I visited my wife's grave yesterday. She doesn't know it's her grave, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
In a similar vein, floors are like wives. If you lay them properly first time you can walk all over them for years.I visited my wife's grave yesterday. She doesn't know it's her grave, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
Soov535 said:
Digga said:
Reminds me of a lovely joke I saw in the comments on the Viz Facebook page:
I visited my wife's grave yesterday. She doesn't know it's her grave, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
In a similar vein, floors are like wives. If you lay them properly first time you can walk all over them for years.I visited my wife's grave yesterday. She doesn't know it's her grave, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
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