Protecting wealth before marriage ?
Discussion
Venturist said:
You can do those things without marriage of course, and the majority of couples nowadays do, which means the only real element that will change as a result of marriage IS the financial.
Oh OK, not noticed a financial change yet 
just happiness and contentment regarding committing to spend the rest of my life to someone.UK marriage today is very heavily weighted in favour of the woman. With 40-50% of all marriages ending in divorce, your "friend" essentially has a 1 in 2 chance of losing at least £1-2m in the next 1 to 30 years. Only you can decide if it is worth the gamble.
A prenup will reduce losses, but it will not stop them.
The only way to really minimize potential losses from divorce is to turn almost everything into cash well before marriage and hide it offshore in multiple locations across the Caribbean, Latin America or Switzerland, or in safety deposit boxes in London or Switzerland, and tell not a single soul about it. But that has legal risks, of course, so you trade one issue for another. Swings and roundabouts.
A prenup will reduce losses, but it will not stop them.
The only way to really minimize potential losses from divorce is to turn almost everything into cash well before marriage and hide it offshore in multiple locations across the Caribbean, Latin America or Switzerland, or in safety deposit boxes in London or Switzerland, and tell not a single soul about it. But that has legal risks, of course, so you trade one issue for another. Swings and roundabouts.
WestyCarl said:
Venturist said:
You can do those things without marriage of course, and the majority of couples nowadays do, which means the only real element that will change as a result of marriage IS the financial.
Oh OK, not noticed a financial change yet just happiness and contentment regarding committing to spend the rest of my life to someone.And re the commitment element, the problem there is that although it does give a feeling of happiness, it's a commitment that nowadays is easily undone and nullified. I would never want anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage, but I do think subconsciously and without even realising themselves most people take it far less seriously than they did a generation or two ago.
WestyCarl said:
Maybe it's just me, but I don't recall any financial "what if" discussions or pre-nup talks before I got married. It was all talk about how we are looking forward to it, shared house, living together, etc,etc.
Likewise, but there wasn't (and isn't) a wide disparity in wealth between my now wife and me, so no reason to come up. In the OPs situation on the other hand, it's an entirely reasonable question IMO; and if the other half won't see that then it's a strong indication not to proceed with the marriage!One question that interests me is what happens if you have a prenup drawn up in the USA and get married in the USA, but live in the UK and are British citizens. My gut feeling is that if the divorce is started in the USA then it will be binding, but if it is started in the UK then it may only be persuasive, and then to the degree of advice and disclosure given at the time.
Please also remember that this is not a 'gender' specific issue. A very close friend was talking about marriage with their lady friend. She was (is) a seriously high flyer and at the time was worth north of $10m, and that was with both multi millionaire parents still alive and her being an only child.
Oddly enough they would have had a pre nup to protect her with the idea being that they get what they came in with and then what they made together got split 50/50. As it was though it was an unnecessary conversation and they ended up splitting up after he realised that if they did marry he would effectively be her b
h.
Please also remember that this is not a 'gender' specific issue. A very close friend was talking about marriage with their lady friend. She was (is) a seriously high flyer and at the time was worth north of $10m, and that was with both multi millionaire parents still alive and her being an only child.
Oddly enough they would have had a pre nup to protect her with the idea being that they get what they came in with and then what they made together got split 50/50. As it was though it was an unnecessary conversation and they ended up splitting up after he realised that if they did marry he would effectively be her b
h. Rude-boy said:
One question that interests me is what happens if you have a prenup drawn up in the USA and get married in the USA, but live in the UK and are British citizens. My gut feeling is that if the divorce is started in the USA then it will be binding, but if it is started in the UK then it may only be persuasive, and then to the degree of advice and disclosure given at the time.
Please also remember that this is not a 'gender' specific issue. A very close friend was talking about marriage with their lady friend. She was (is) a seriously high flyer and at the time was worth north of $10m, and that was with both multi millionaire parents still alive and her being an only child.
Oddly enough they would have had a pre nup to protect her with the idea being that they get what they came in with and then what they made together got split 50/50. As it was though it was an unnecessary conversation and they ended up splitting up after he realised that if they did marry he would effectively be her bh.
I believe USA prenups are barely any more binding than here and can be thrown out essentially at the judge's whim if they feel one party didn't fully understand what they were signing or felt pressurised etc...Please also remember that this is not a 'gender' specific issue. A very close friend was talking about marriage with their lady friend. She was (is) a seriously high flyer and at the time was worth north of $10m, and that was with both multi millionaire parents still alive and her being an only child.
Oddly enough they would have had a pre nup to protect her with the idea being that they get what they came in with and then what they made together got split 50/50. As it was though it was an unnecessary conversation and they ended up splitting up after he realised that if they did marry he would effectively be her b
h. Venturist said:
I believe USA prenups are barely any more binding than here and can be thrown out essentially at the judge's whim if they feel one party didn't fully understand what they were signing or felt pressurised etc...
Bugger - he should have gone for it. Poor lad wouldn't have much trouble convincing a Judge that he doesn't understand much 
Top bloke though and on his subject is seriously good to the point of talking about semi retirement by 45...Yipper said:
UK marriage today is very heavily weighted in favour of the woman. With 40-50% of all marriages ending in divorce, your "friend" essentially has a 1 in 2 chance of losing at least £1-2m in the next 1 to 30 years. Only you can decide if it is worth the gamble.
Any marriage chosen at random may have a 50% chance of ending in divorce (rather than death), however marrying someone is an act of judgement rather than one of chance and the course of the marriage is not entirely random. You can't guarantee the outcome, but you can mitigate the risk. Marital breakdown is more like a car crash than Russian roulette - lots of large and small choices by both parties plus a dose of bad luck, not just a spin of the chamber.Venturist said:
Of course, and I'm sure everyone here wishes you the very best. The financial element is that you are now tied together and have a "claim" on each other's finances for the rest of your lives, for good or ill, and obviously this is no issue at all while you're a team - but when you are suddenly no longer on the same side anymore, perhaps not even related to your own actions or in any way your choice, that's when it gets problematic.
And re the commitment element, the problem there is that although it does give a feeling of happiness, it's a commitment that nowadays is easily undone and nullified. I would never want anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage, but I do think subconsciously and without even realising themselves most people take it far less seriously than they did a generation or two ago.
Yup, but so far I've had 25yrs of being happier than I ever thought, so if a sudden dose of the mental arrives at my house and I end up in a one bed flat then I'd take that over a history of being cynical / single / repeated partner's. And anyway she'd likely get the kids so I'd want to provide for them anyway.And re the commitment element, the problem there is that although it does give a feeling of happiness, it's a commitment that nowadays is easily undone and nullified. I would never want anyone to stay in an unhappy marriage, but I do think subconsciously and without even realising themselves most people take it far less seriously than they did a generation or two ago.
p.s. feel free to check back in a few years time to see if I'm on the "women are snakes" thread all bitter and confused without a pot to piss in
Edited by WestyCarl on Wednesday 26th April 18:51
Du1point8 said:
Aye... this is why my OH is suggesting a document that means assets before relationship/marriage are our own and will not be part of a break up.
She realises that I have a lot (10+ times more) to lose by going into this and she wants to put my mind at rest.
except the legal advice I got is that isn't worth the paper its written on, as once married a year it counts as 10 (ie including pre-marriage relationship) and those terms would not be deemed fairShe realises that I have a lot (10+ times more) to lose by going into this and she wants to put my mind at rest.
stargazer30 said:
To sum up the legal part of marriage 2.0 in the UK....
Tell your mate to buy a gun, load it and give it to her. She gets to point it at his head everyday for the rest of his life and he gets to hope she never wants to pull the trigger.
God some of you lot are depressing!Tell your mate to buy a gun, load it and give it to her. She gets to point it at his head everyday for the rest of his life and he gets to hope she never wants to pull the trigger.
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