Tell Us Something Really Trivial About Your Life (Vol 31)
Discussion
Bobberoo99 said:
DickyC said:
I've heard of the Sodding Fence. Is it any good? It might be time for a change. We've stuck with the Close Boarded Cedar Fence for years.
As fences go it's very heavy, and appears to be continually waterlogged, which makes screwing into it hard work!!
...get one of them drills that runs off elastictrickery then young Bobbersslopes said:
Bobberoo99 said:
DickyC said:
I've heard of the Sodding Fence. Is it any good? It might be time for a change. We've stuck with the Close Boarded Cedar Fence for years.
As fences go it's very heavy, and appears to be continually waterlogged, which makes screwing into it hard work!!...get one of them drills that runs off elastictrickery then young Bobbers
Ye gods, what witchcraft is this????
Bobberoo99 said:
Have you spoken to Mrs Robbo about her, er, well, flatulence???
Nope. Nobody would dare to broach the subject with her. She can be explosive when provoked. No, it is I. You may have heard of the films "Gone with the Wind" and "Whistle Down the Wind":
They were feature length documentaries about yours truly. And me.
I have what is known as "Happy Bowel Syndrome", which is a rare and precious and joyous characteristic. At times I can wax almost symphonic with some of my overtures, other times it is a valuable asset which enables me to quickly obtain a space at a crowded bar, or free up a table for six in a busy restaurant.
However, it can be less beneficial in a crowded lift, when it can be wrong on so many different levels.
I usually accuse the fattest bloke and make my exit at the next floor. 
If the Red Arrows ever need to feature brown smoke in one of their displays, I'm their man!
But sadly I could never be an astronaut. Even though it is said that in Space, no-one can hear you fart.
glenrobbo said:
Bobberoo99 said:
Have you spoken to Mrs Robbo about her, er, well, flatulence???
Nope. Nobody would dare to broach the subject with her. She can be explosive when provoked. No, it is I. You may have heard of the films "Gone with the Wind" and "Whistle Down the Wind":
They were feature length documentaries about yours truly. And me.
I have what is known as "Happy Bowel Syndrome", which is a rare and precious and joyous characteristic. At times I can wax almost symphonic with some of my overtures, other times it is a valuable asset which enables me to quickly obtain a space at a crowded bar, or free up a table for six in a busy restaurant.
However, it can be less beneficial in a crowded lift, when it can be wrong on so many different levels.
I usually accuse the fattest bloke and make my exit at the next floor. If the Red Arrows ever need to feature brown smoke in one of their displays, I'm their man!
But sadly I could never be an astronaut. Even though it is said that in Space, no-one can hear you fart.
Bobberoo99 said:
Not yet Dicky, it's on my list along with, Is your sister fit?, How do you feel about being close to another man?, Are hugs out of the question? and if not, Clothed, or unclothed?, and finally, Does my bum look big in this?? 
...so this "Project" is a hastily-contrived evasion tactic of his? Smart lad!
I think I may have to attend to a little "project" myself to shelter from all this "Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" emanating from Bobbers' general direction....
Afternoon triviamongers, sad news afoot, it appears that my (imaginary but oh so very nearly real in my head) magnum opus debut solo LP has been an unmitigated gynormous flop, I walked into WH Smiths this morning to find one of the CDs propping up a dodgy leg on the broken biscuit counter, with the rest dumped in the remainders bin along with 'Chesney Hawkes Greatest Hit'. Oh well, I'd best get on to my esteemed showbiz agent Monty Baumfarb and tell him to cancel the extensive world tour I had planned. Pity really, I was looking forward to wowing the punters at the Neasden Lido, Shepards Bush Municipal Recycling Centre and the Essoldo cinema in downtown Shepards Bush. Greatness denied once more, twas ever thus.
At least I won't have to dig up Peter Wyngarde's corpse so's we could perform the duet what I wrote for him called 'Fancy'.
At least I won't have to dig up Peter Wyngarde's corpse so's we could perform the duet what I wrote for him called 'Fancy'.
P5BNij said:
Afternoon triviamongers, sad news afoot, it appears that my (imaginary but oh so very nearly real in my head) magnum opus debut solo LP has been an unmitigated gynormous flop, I walked into WH Smiths this morning to find one of the CDs propping up a dodgy leg on the broken biscuit counter, with the rest dumped in the remainders bin along with 'Chesney Hawkes Greatest Hit'. Oh well, I'd best get on to my esteemed showbiz agent Monty Baumfarb and tell him to cancel the extensive world tour I had planned. Pity really, I was looking forward to wowing the punters at the Neasden Lido, Shepards Bush Municipal Recycling Centre and the Essoldo cinema in downtown Shepards Bush. Greatness denied once more, twas ever thus.
At least I won't have to dig up Peter Wyngarde's corpse so's we could perform the duet what I wrote for him called 'Fancy'.
Devastated for you Nij. At least I won't have to dig up Peter Wyngarde's corpse so's we could perform the duet what I wrote for him called 'Fancy'.
Never mind*, Bobbers will give you a consolatory cuddle.
Naked, if you like.
If anyone wants me, you ain't sin me, roight mate?
* Could be a title for your neXT album?
Never give up.
I thought a Magnum Opus was a choc-ice on a stick which can be used for pistol shooting target practise?
I didn't know that WH Smiths were now selling broken biscuits.
I always wondered who won the retail franchise after F.W. Woolworth ceased trading.
Good to hear that the Broken Biscuit Factory employees' jobs are secure.
Edited by glenrobbo on Tuesday 19th March 14:47
Cheers Glenners, all hope is not lost for I have some rather ace song titles lined up for 'the difficult second but not as difficult as the difficult third album, album'. An ungrateful public will have the opportunity to completely ignore these poptastic platters that matter : 'Pretty, But Vacant', 'Didn't We Have A Lovely Time The Day We Went To Bognor', 'The Devil Went Down To Neasden', 'I Only Have Eyes For Youtube' and a cover of that ground breaking Cliff & The Shads pop smash 'Move It, Or Face A Crippling Parking Fine'.
Bound to be a hit methinks. If not then I'll split up, go my separate ways and became two different solo artistes, a bit like Roger Moore in The Man Who Haunted Himself...
Bound to be a hit methinks. If not then I'll split up, go my separate ways and became two different solo artistes, a bit like Roger Moore in The Man Who Haunted Himself...
I am a a broken man, again, the fence is finally finished!!! 
No, no, please no applause!!!
I really don't know what the problem is with this whole naked cuddling thing, just give in to your inner feelings, come on now, you know you want to!!!!
As for that extraordinary, nay, seminal first album Nij, well let's just say that after your gone they'll realise it's too late, but of course by then it will be too late!!!!
No, no, please no applause!!!
I really don't know what the problem is with this whole naked cuddling thing, just give in to your inner feelings, come on now, you know you want to!!!!
As for that extraordinary, nay, seminal first album Nij, well let's just say that after your gone they'll realise it's too late, but of course by then it will be too late!!!!
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